If Things Were Different
by Lluniwr Geiriau
Summary: If things were different not much would've changed, there's still a quell, a rebellion, a war but what if it wasn't Katniss who took Prim's place? This is how a rebel becomes a victor, a victor a wife and a wife a mother. How nothing and everything would've changed if things were different.
1. Chapter 1

I find Prim in the twelve year old section and manage a tiny smile when she looks back at me over her shoulder. She can't return it, only managing a pained grimace. Her cheeks are still wet but her nose twitches as she tries to hold back a fresh wave of the tears she's been shedding for days. When she turns away from me I look across to the boys and find Gale, he's already looking at me. I give him the same barely-there smile I gave Prim and he mouths the words 'you okay?' I nod, it's a lie of course, no one is okay today. His eyes move from me to Prim, then to Rory. He's doing the same thing I am, watching the people he loves like our gaze can keep them safe, like they'll be taken while we're not looking.

As Effie Trinket takes to the stage I do one last round. Prim, Rory, Gale. I hold my breath like everyone else when Effie proclaims

"Ladies first" her clawed fingers rummage in the bowl for a few eternal moments before her hand emerges clasping a single folded piece of paper. She teeters over to the microphone and takes her sweet time unfolding the small strip "Primrose Everdeen" I breathe the sigh of relief I was so sure was coming but choke on it before I've exhaled fully. Instead I freeze, struck dumb in horror. She only had one slip!

"No" I whisper my denial over and over again as I begin pushing my way through the crowd

"Where are you dear?" Effie calls and I want to hurt her almost as much as I want to reach Prim. Who has reached the center of the square and looks about her as if expecting someone to do something, expecting _me _to do something

"No Prim, Prim!" one peacekeeper can't hold me back but a second and a third soon help the first to keep me from running to her. I'm fighting, to no avail and instead open my mouth to scream

"I volunteer!" the words echo across the square but they aren't mine. In the confusion I take the opportunity to free myself and run to Prim. I hold her tight, as if to pull her into me before the peacekeepers can reach us "I volunteer" the grip on my arm loosens as quickly as it came but doesn't disappear "leave them be, I volunteer" had Madge Undersee not held the status she did, the peacekeepers probably wouldn't have listened.

Gale has to usher myself and Prim towards the crowds at the back of the square but not once do I take my eyes off Madge's back. Her shoulders lift with a deep inhale then she steps onto the carpet to make her way to the stage.

"Well well, who do we have here? What's your name dear?" Effie chirps unmistakably flustered

"Madeline Undersee"

"Ladies and gentlemen, our very first volunteer and your female tribute Madge Undersee" Effie trills, a still functioning part of my brain wonders how Effie got Madge from Madeline. The mayor looks distraught as he shakes his daughters hand, I'm just happy it's not Prim. The thought pains me with guilt but it couldn't be more true. Prim is safe and that's what's most important

"This is bullshit!" Haymitch Abernathy, drunkard and 12's only victor staggers from his chair, his words slurred but full of something like rage "this is _bullshit_!" he repeats "you!" he zig zags towards a camera and thrusts his finger towards it "_you're _bullshit!" at first it's confusing, I wonder if he's actually so drunk he's abusing a camera but realize quickly he can only be addressing the Capitol, which is even more baffling. Even so, I gain a small sliver of respect for Haymitch Abernathy. It dissipates almost instantly when he falls past the camera and plummets from the stage head first

"Now, the boys" Effie carries on quickly, tutting at Haymitch as he's dragged away unconscious. Then I'm back to staring at Madge, I daren't take my eyes off her, though it's too late for my gaze to keep her safe. She keeps her eyes forward, she doesn't look at any of us, doesn't look to or for anyone. Rather she gazes out towards the mines, perhaps the mountains in the distance she won't ever see again.

I keep my eyes pinned on Madge while Effie's nails stir the slips of paper in the second bowl. She takes her time selecting one again, at least it seems that way. Finally she makes her way back to the microphone and opens the slip "Orion Meadows!" she exclaims breathily. Prim whimpers into my neck and Gale blows out a breath of air beside me.

Gale's best friend is Orion's older brother Thom, though I know he is close to both of them. Next year would've been his last reaping year "come on you two, shake hands" Effie powers on, making an effort to sound even more upbeat. Madge offers her hand out to Orion but he eyes it skeptically before taking it "ladies and gentlemen your tributes for the 73rd annual Hunger Games Madeline Undersee and Orion Meadows!" Effie continues, a huge grin and a small round of applause. She purses her lips when she's answered with silence but doesn't seem all too surprised by it. No one ever claps, in any of the districts besides 1 and 2 but the silence has never been quite this _loud_.

All of these people who didn't know Madge, who probably didn't like Madge. They respect her sacrifice even if they don't understand it. And all these people who didn't know Orion but knew he was too good, too full of life, for this demise. All these people who didn't know Madge or Orion but stand silently shouting their refusal. We do not agree. We do not condone.

It's not clear where it starts, perhaps with Gale but I can't be sure because he's behind me. But all of 12, within moments of each other, raise three fingers to their lips, then out towards the stage. In that moment it's everything I need to say but can't. It's thanks, it's admiration, it's goodbye to someone I love.

The justice building is cold, it should be a reprieve from the stifling heat outside but it's not. I'm freezing from the inside out.

Madge, who was my silent lunch partner, a partner out of necessity, who became my first real friend besides Gale. Madge, who never asked anything of me but offered company in exchange for a sort of friendship. Kind, sweet, intelligent, beautiful Madge is going into the hunger games, with Orion. A boy I barely knew but still liked because it was impossible not to.

Prim stays pressed to my side as we wait. Orion's family is saying goodbye while the mayor says goodbye to Madge, her mother is not well enough. I wonder if she'll even know Madge is gone. Prim and I are the last to see Madge, after Delly Cartwright emerges from the room sobbing while Peeta Mellark tries to console her.

Madge is like stone as I sit beside her, no tears, no shaking, and no fear. No emotion at all. She's the mayor's daughter, she's been acting her whole life and now it's going to serve her well. Looking at her now I'm willing to hope they won't break her, but it's still so wrong for them to try.

"Thank you. For saving my sister"

"What was I supposed to do?" if there was ever a time for hard truths this was it, so I say exactly what everyone is thinking

"Nothing Madge. Volunteering for Prim- it should have been me and you'll never know how grateful I am" she smiles feebly but it's genuine, telling me even now, she doesn't regret it

"Thank you" Prim had stopped crying but the tears are back in force now. She gingerly wraps her arms around Madge's neck then clings to her when it's returned "for volunteering and for saving Katniss. Thank you"

"Of course Prim" this smile, whilst still genuine, takes a little more effort

"You're smart Madge and fast, you know how to act around them" I ramble in a vain attempt to quell some of my guilt and to help her build her barriers back up. Soft, kind Madge isn't the type of person who wins the Hunger Games "you can beat them" I whisper and she knows what I mean. All those unspoken conversations we had, they're the reason she understands now. She knows I'm not talking about the other tributes but the gamemakers themselves, the Capitol. I reach out to her before I can second guess myself, the hug is awkward but … nice and well overdue

"Katniss" her voice is monotone "I want you to know ... I have to tell you out loud that … you were always a great friend to me"

"Madge" I interrupt feebly

"I mean it, I know we aren't super close or anything but I always thought of you as my friend"

"So did I- do I Madge" the door is opened from the other side and I can see Levy, my neighbor and Orion's cousin being dragged off as she shouts obscenities at the peacekeepers. Time's up.

"Be safe Katniss" Madge murmurs, barely a hint of emotion

"You too Madge".

I leave the justice hall with what feels like a brick of guilt sitting in my gut. I tug Prim closer to my side as a reminder. She's safe that's all that matters. Only it's not. Madge is going to die and it's all because I couldn't protect Prim before she could. I'm going to live and she's going to die, that's not fair.

My mother has put a kettle of water to boil on the stove for nettle tea I assume. It's just beginning to bubble when Gale comes to the door

"Are you alright?" I nod, it's a lie again. I'm not the only person in the Seam who has an aversion to being in someone's debt and this is a debt that can never be repaid. Put that on top of the guilt and the loss, I've been better "how's Prim?"

"Terrified that her name was picked. Distraught Madge volunteered. Relieved I didn't" he nods "you didn't go to the justice building?"

"It's better he has time with his family" I nod "you saw-"

"Madge" I cut him off "yeah"

"Ma says you should watch the games with us" I nod "I'm going to the hob, for white liquor, Thom will need it tonight. You need to trade anything?" I shake my head "sorry about your friend Catnip" I nod once and close the door behind him only to collapse against it.


	2. Chapter 2

We're gathered in the square and for the first time in my life I want to see the screen. Mayor Undersee takes to the stage looking no different than usual and drawls on and on with the same speech he gives every year, but I can't be the only one who notices the catch in his voice whenever he says the word tribute. We're welcomed to the opening of the games by Ceaser Flickerman and Claudius Templesmith, two of the most annoying men alive, I'm sure. They natter about how exciting and special and wonderful it all is, as if I didn't feel sick enough.

"And now" Claudius squeals like a little merchant girl "for the tribute parade!" they continue to take it in turns to gush about anything and everything as the first few horse drawn chariots make their way to the presidents mansion.

District 1's tributes are both obvious careers, a stocky boy with glossy beige hair and a lanky dark haired girl with very little muscle but an air about her that makes her intimidating. They both volunteered. District 2 are much the same, a muscular mousy haired boy and a smaller dark haired girl but unlike the others who simply wave impassively, she giggles and blows kisses and waves her hands about enthusiastically as if she's known the recipients all her life. They both volunteered. District 3 is heartbreaking, a tiny little thing that immediately reminds me of Gale's brother Vick, he's about 14 but looks no older than 10 and he's dwarfed next to the towering form that is his district partner. She's surly faced with wiry hair and sharp eyes. She looks powerful enough to reach over and snap the boy's neck without so much as a glance. District 4's tributes also volunteered, that means more careers and they certainly look the part. Both toned muscle and broad strength.

Flickerman and Templesmith continue to ramble, they're currently talking about how fabulous the tributes' stupid costumes are. I mean 4 were dressed as fish! The other districts' costumes are equally idiotic especially because the people wearing them look so pathetic, most have given up already.

"Two power plant workers" Ceaser chuckles "and- what is that?" on the huge screen in the square it's just a glow, an amber blur in the tribute tunnel under the training center but as the carriage draws closer I see the flames "what is that?" Ceaser exclaims.

It's 12, I realize, their carriage. Madge and Orion atop it, adorned in flames. Orion looks incredible, his dark hair and skin striking against the flame, the high collar of his patent black jumpsuit framing his angular jaw and strong features. Beside him Madge is simply heart stopping. Again the collar of her outfit is creating a frame for her face, the neckline is much lower cut and plunges down to a point just above her navel. The skin on show is dusted with bronze powder that makes it seem alive under the flame. She has the same powder on her cheeks, giving her high and prominent cheekbones. Her lips are painted a dark maroon and her eye lids are dark with thick black lines and lashes. Her hair has been plaited loosely at her crown and scraped back into a high ponytail which is sleek and straight down her back. The two of them stand strong and sturdy while they're leaving the tunnel and the flames are reflected by their eyes making them look other worldly. When they reach the screaming crowds of capitol socialites, Orion places his hand on top of Madge's at the center of the chariot and they wave with their free hands.

People around me cheer and whistle. Gale even murmurs a quiet 'woah' beside me but I can't take my eyes from Madge. The capitol are awestruck, 12 is awestruck, I am awestruck. When their chariot comes to a sudden stop the flames billowing out behind them vanish and they drop their hands but just before the image changes to one of President Snow I see their closest hands are still clasped.

"That was amazing" Prim gasps her eyes still staring up at the screen as the chariots pull away

"Yes it was" I agree

"Did you see how beautiful she looked?"

"Mmhm"

"And Orion looked so strong"

"Yeah, they looked great Little Duck"

"Best I've ever seen 12 dressed" Gale murmurs

"Yeah"

"Let her keep her pin though" he adds

"What?"

"Her pin, she was wearing it this morning when we traded and she was wearing it then"

"She was?"

"Yeah, on her left"

"Oh, I didn't notice" and I hadn't, I hadn't seen anything but Madge after my first glimpse of her.

I walk home with my mother, Prim and the Hawthorne's only to realize I haven't traded anything since the morning of the reaping, so I'll have to walk all the way back to town. I go to the makeshift ice box on the porch and take out two butchered squirrel and three rabbits, leaving the smallest for our meal tomorrow. I put them at the bottom of my game bag and put the few coins I have left from Madge's trade in my pocket.

The square is mostly cleared, spare for a few stragglers and I keep my head down making a B-line for the hob. It's surprisingly busy, most having come here straight from the square to spite the extra peacekeepers. Greasy Sae takes two of the rabbits off my hands for a few more coins and a bowl of whatever those rabbits go in to. I barter for a length of yellow ribbon that Prim would love in the hopes it'll lift her spirits even a fraction. Paying a little more for it than I'd hoped I go back to town and sell the remaining rabbit to Rooba the butcher. She eyes the squirrel meat too but they are always saved for Mr. Mellark.

I knock on the back door of the bakery, knowing the baker's evil swine of a wife isn't likely to be around

"Katniss" Mr. Mellark nods "you have squirrel?" he asks excitably rubbing his hands together

"Yes" I nod letting my lips curl up just slightly

"I've had a hankering for them for days now"

"Well you're in luck" I tell him pulling the parcels of meat from the bottom of my game bag

"Oh goodie" he grins and my lips quirk up again "come in for a minute" he gestures for me to follow him in as he often does and as usual I'm won over by the smell of freshly baked goods. I only stand just inside the door though, never any further. I fidget and move my weight back and forth from foot to foot until Mr. Mellark returns and walks right into me like he didn't know I was there. Only when large hands come to rest on my arms and help my regain my balance I look up and it's not Mr. Mellark

"Katniss" Peeta Mellark whispers "I-I'm sorry, I didn't see you"

"I ..."

"You must be trading with dad?"

"Yes"

"How are you?"

"I- F-fine" I stammer. Every impulse tells me to scream the words thank you at this boy, every time I see him the words bubble up in my throat but always get trapped and choke me before reaching my lips

"I'm sorry about your friends" I shrug, not as sorry as me

"Madge was your friend too?" the truth is I'm not entirely sure, I think they hung out as kids but can't be certain

"Yeah" now Katniss. Do it now

"Look I-"

"Here you are Katniss" Mr. Mellark interrupts "oh Peeta" Mr. Mellark says handing me a wrapped parcel I assume is my usual payment of a loaf of bread

"Thank you" I murmur in a hurry, backing out the door so quickly I trip slightly over the step. I'm half way down the street when I notice the loaf of bread isn't the only thing in the parcel. There's also a paper bag and when I open it I find three beautifully decorated butter cookies. With a groan I turn on my heel and rap on the Mellark's back door

"Oh Katniss, you're back" Peeta startles

"I had to return these" I say holding up the bag

"They're for the squirrel"

"Look" I gripe "your dad over pays as it is, I don't need charity"

"It's not charit-"

"Just take them will you" I say thrusting the bag at him again, his eyes get determined and he crosses his arms over his chest in a way that irritates me

"No"

"What?"

"You heard me, no"

"Stop being stubborn" I snap and he begins to laugh "don't laugh at me" I murmur more hurt than I care to admit

"I'm sorry, I'd never laugh at you Katniss. It's just ... you're the most stubborn person I know"

"You don't know me" I state bluntly

"No, I don't" he says almost sadly "I'd like to though" and that really rattles me

"Take the damn cookies Mellark"

"No, they're for you ... and Prim" I narrow my eyes at him and his low blow "please Katniss, take them" reluctantly I drop my hand to my side in acceptance

"Thanks" I murmur, Peeta nods and I realize I can't leave here without thanking him for the bread. With Madge gone I can't stand the thought of _never_ thanking _him_ "for the bread"

"No problem" he grins

"No, the bread, from before"

"Oh" his eyes widen and he stands straighter "oh, there's no need to thank me"

"Don't shrug it off, I'm thanking you"

"Then you're most welcome Katniss, anytime" he says seriously

"Bye"

"Good bye Katniss".


	3. Chapter 3

We eat a basic meal of broth and the last of the bread I traded with Mr. Mellark. Prim hasn't been quite as sullen since I showed her the perfect cookies from Peeta but it only reminds me that without his kindness she'd never have a treat like that. I could never provide for like that. After our meager meal we go to the Hawthornes' to watch the scores. We haven't heard much from the Capitol, only that the tributes are training and the odds of each tribute. As it is, the bitter faced girl from 3 and the boy from 4 are favorites.

When Ceaser Flickerman appears on the screen the quiet conversations happening around the room die out and we all turn our attention to the television. The boy from 1 gets a 10, the girl an 8. Both from 2 get 9's. The little boy who reminds me of Vick gets a 4, his district partner a 10. Both from 4 get 10's. It's the highest scoring career pack in years. The other districts range between 3 and 7. The boy from 8 manages to get himself an 8 but that's it

"From District 12" Ceaser continues "Orion Meadows, with a score of 8"

"That's a career score" Gale laughs in disbelief, I give him a look that says 'don't get too excited'

"And finally from District 12, Madge Undersee, with a score of ... 11"

"11!" Madge got an eleven, even Prim and Gale screaming it doesn't make it any more believable "Princess got an 11! How the hell did she manage that?"

"She's really smart Gale and fast" I defend her, Madge never deserved all the crap Gale gave her. I hate that it took her saving my sister to make me speak up and now it's too late to matter

"That's not enough to get an 11! I bet it's because her dad's the mayor, spoilt brat!" Gale spits

"Gale Hawthorne" his mother yells "you will have yourself some respect for that poor girl. If she can earn herself a score like that to go into the games then good for her" Hazelle had been oddly quiet until now, not in a 'this is so terrible I have nothing to say' kind of way like she usually is during the games, but in a 'reflective, deep in thought' kind of way

"Ma, she's-" Gale tries

"No!" Hazelle cuts him off sharply "that girl's done more for this District and this family than you'll ever realize so you have some respect when you speak about her" Hazelle powers from the room in an angry blur and a door closes as harshly as it can without coming off its hinges in the Seam. I've never seen Hazelle that angry. Ever. My mother quickly rushes after her, it's the most she's done all night

"What?" Gale looks at me

"How should I know? But your mother's right Gale, you don't know Madge"

"Neither do you! Sure you sit together at lunch but how much do you actually talk?" he scoffs

"No less than I spoke to you at first" I argue

"She's just some spoilt brat, what's everyone getting in a huff about?" all of a sudden Posy is hitting Gale in the face with a worn cushion

"Miss Madge gave me a cookie! She's nice!" Posy shouts in Gale's face before stomping off the same direction as her mother

"And she gives me books from school so I don't have to read the same ones over and over" Vick murmurs quietly before leaving. Prim follows silently

"She saved Prim's life" Rory whispers without even looking at Gale. When Rory's gone Gale frowns at the screen

"She's not so bad you know, if you got to know her you'd see" I feel a hypocrite but it has to be said. I've never given her the credit she deserves and I'm a terrible person for letting Gale treat her the way he did

"Like you know her Catnip" Gale snorts

"I know her enough, all you had to do is try"

"When would I have ever got the chance to 'get to know' her?"

"You had years, if you had just tried when we made trades rather than hurling insults at her you'd understand"

"You never cared about her this much before"

"Because she hadn't just volunteered for Prim!" I scream, like really scream, so loud it feels like something in my throat tears "Don't you realize I was seconds away from doing it myself. She doesn't deserve this, she's too _good_ for this"

"Catnip-"

"No, you're wrong and you know it" I say harshly then take a deep breath "she's saved our lives countless times Gale, not just by volunteering but every time we needed that little bit extra it was always her trades that got it. I don't think people would pay that much for strawberries even in the Capitol" I take a few steps towards the door then turn back "I never told you this because I promised Rory I wouldn't but ... he signed up for tessera"

"What?" Gale's face pales and he grips the cushion Posy threw at him so tight his nails threaten to tear thought the fabric

"Madge wiped the record"

"What?"

"You heard me, Madge Undersee, at the risk of being arrested, becoming an avox and who knows what else, broke into the justice building to remove your brother's name from the tessera census"

"That's impossible" he whispers

"Yet she did it" I mutter before striding out into the street

"Wait Katniss wait!" Gale trips out of his front door trying to catch up with me "why didn't you tell me any of this?"

"Because she asked me not to. Do you know what they'd do to her if they knew? She only told me so I'd stop worrying about Prim"

"I'm sorry, I didn't … I didn't know all that"

"You didn't know anything about her, except that she lived in a big house and had nice clothes. You didn't think to question why. She has a big house because anyone who comes here from the Capitol has to stay there. Do you know how many times she's woken up in the middle of the night to find some man three times her age trying to climb into her bed? Do you know how most of the pretty things she owns have been gifts from those old men, or her father to apologies for not doing anything about it? How many times she's had to sit silently while people insult her family and her way of life? She might have money Gale but she hasn't got it easy" And as I say the words I realize I'm as angry at myself as I am him. I knew that stuff and never did anything about it. Never even offered to listen and Madge would never ask for help, she'd suffer in silence

"Katniss I didn't know"

"And now that you do?"

"I'll never speak badly of her again" I shake my head and press my eyes shut to keep from crying

"Not good enough Gale! After all she's done"

"I'm sorry, I didn't know".


	4. Chapter 4

Things are still tense when we return to the square to watch the interviews the night before the games. I haven't spoken to Gale since the scores were televised but our families stand together in the square. The interviews are uneventful, the careers, for the most part play dangerous, deadly and confident. The girl from 2 all but offers herself to Ceaser. The boy from 4 grunts his answers and everyone else just seems terrified or resigned. Until Madge.

"Here she is, you know her as the girl on fire, from district 12, Madge Undersee!" Madge takes the stage in a beautiful floor length red gown incrusted with jewels that move to look like fire, her hair is pinned in to an intricate bun of curls and braids at the base of her head, leaving her gold dusted neck and shoulders on show. She is breath taking "hello my dear" Ceaser kisses Madge's hand and guides her to her seat

"Good evening Ceaser" she smiles softly "everybody else" she tilts her head at the audience and they cheer "Mr. President" Madge curtsies and President Snow actually nods back. I can sense Gale's discomfort beside me, he's dying to say something, I glare at him and he turns back to the television

"My my, don't you look delicious" Ceaser chuckles

"Oh stop" Madge blushes and bats at Ceaser like they're old friends. She settles herself in the plush seat opposite Ceaser and although her back is straight as a board and her hands are folded neatly in her lap, she looks completely comfortable

"I understand back in district 12 your father is the mayor?"

"Yes" Madge nods "he's so proud" that's a lie, he's a wreck

"I don't doubt that, tell me, what did he say to you before you left?"

"He told me how happy he was, that he's glad I'm helping to make our nation a better place"

"And are you glad?"

"Of course, just look at how lucky I am" Madge gushes

"A little birdy told me you've taken a liking to our red velvet cupcakes" Madge giggles and her cheeks turn rosy

"Guilty" she smiles and holds up her hands "I've never had them before, I'll have to refrain from now on though. A moment on the lips a life time on the hips" Madge giggles again and the audience laugh with her

"Now Madge"

"Yes Ceaser" she sits up and mimics his tone

"You managed a score of 11, that's very impressive for anyone, let alone someone from an outlying district. Tell us, how did you do it?" Madge leans in closer and pauses for a few seconds until Ceaser too leans in

"If I told you I'd have to kill you" Madge smiles devilishly, Ceaser and the Capitol audience raw with laughter

"Isn't she charming ladies and gentlemen?" Madge gushes as the Capitol applaud and scream their agreement

"Now someone that charming and beautiful is bound to have a special someone back home. Is there someone? A boyfriend? A girlfriend? A crush?" Ceaser lifts his eyebrows suggestively and for the first time Madge looks uncertain

"No" Madge finally answers sounding unsure. Is there someone? We never talked about boys but surely I'd know, or would I? I know Madge well enough to know she's a good person, kind and intelligent but I couldn't hazard a guess at her favorite color or anything of the sort. All I know is that she likes strawberries and plays the piano but even Gale knows that

"That's very hard to believe Madge"

"I'm going to let you in on a secret" Madge says, her eyes alight with mischief. Ceaser and the audience lean in and there is silence as everyone, myself included listens intently "I'm waiting for Finnick O'dair to realize he's madly in love with me and come sweep me off my feet" again there is ructions laughter and Ceaser wipes a tear from his eye

"Aren't we all!" Ceaser chuckles. There's a disturbance then the camera pans around to show none other than Finnick O'dair himself climbing down from the victor's balcony to the stage. People howl and cheer as he pulls Madge to her feet then dips her into a steamy kiss. Madge fans herself when he stands her up again and puts a hand to her forehead when he kisses her hand lightly before returning to his seat "well, well, what are we to make of that?" Madge doesn't reply for a moment then turns to Ceaser with a grin

"I'm sorry Ceaser you're going to have to repeat that, I didn't catch a word" again the audience bursts into hysterics

"That was quite something, I'm a little hot and bothered myself" Ceaser says tugging on the collar of his shirt

"You're telling me, how's a girl to focus after that?" more laughter

"I'm hardly surprised you're simply ravishing in that gown"

"Oh isn't it wonderful? Cinna is magnificent, a true artist"

"Indeed, where are you Cinna, take a bow" the camera pans to show Cinna waving to the crowd and he humbly takes a bow after gesturing to Madge and holding a kiss out to her, not unlike 12 did after she volunteered

"His designs for the opening ceremony were extraordinary"

"That they were" Ceaser agrees

"It's just one of the things I love about the Capitol" Gale raises his eyebrows at me and I scowl at him

"Tell me, besides the cupcakes, what else do you love?" Madge giggles girlishly again

"Well the fashions are marvelous" I laugh this time, one thing I do know is how much Madge hates Capitol fashion "and the buildings are so grand, the food is delicious and of course the people" Madge smiles at the audience "the people are fabulous" Madge is a great actress. The buzzer sounds and the audience 'awwwh's even though it had clearly been put off. Madge had twice the time the other tributes did

"I wish you all the best Madge, I truly hope to see you again"

"As do I Ceaser" as she leaves the stage Madge blows a kiss to the audience then one to Finnick who winks back.

When Orion crosses the stage to Ceaser the audience has settled down

"It's nice to meet you Orion" Ceaser says taking his hand

"The pleasure's all mine" Orion says smoothly. Gale and I share a look

"Tell me about yourself"

"Well, there really isn't much to tell. I live in district 12, I have a brother and two wonderful parents" Orion breaks into a grin "I'm devilishly handsome and between you and me Ceaser, I'm not a bad dancer" the Capitol laughs along with him and Gale and I both frown in confusion. Madge was one thing, she's been around this her whole life but Orion was brought up in the Seam, it's in his DNA to hate the Capitol and everything they represent

"Oh I'm sure you are. Tell me about your family" Orion adjusts himself in the seat then plasters his smile back on

"We're close, my brother isn't much older than me. Everyone thinks we're twins"

"Did he come and see you before you left?"

"He did"

"And what did he say?" Orion's eyes glaze over with moisture but he blinks and it's gone

"He thanked me" Ceaser raises an eyebrow "for the fortune I'd bring our District when I win" Ceaser grins, Orion having saved himself

"Which brings us to your score. An 8 is very good"

"In truth Ceaser I was hoping for more"

"Oh?"

"Maybe I should have danced for them" again Ceaser is drowned out by laughter

"Can you tell us how you earned that 8?"

"You know that's sensitive information Ceaser"

"Just a clue then? Is there anything we should watch out for in the arena?" Orion laughs heartily then sighs

"You bet your yellow wig there is" Ceaser chuckles good naturedly as the audience writhes with laughter at his expense

"I'll have you know young man, this is all my own" Ceaser jokes slicking his hair back

"My apologies Ceaser, merely teasing, I've been thinking about going that color myself, what do you think? Do I have the complexion for it?" Ceaser and the Capitol laugh again

"Oh I'd say so, I'd be glad to give you the number for my colorist" the two men laugh like old friends and I can't help but notice how unlike any other interviews 12's have been

"That would be wonderful! Only now that I have you in this light I'm not sure I could pull it off like you can"

"Ah we have another charmer. Tell me, do you have a special someone?"

"Sadly, the only woman in my life is my dear mother. A fact I'm grateful for having met all these beautiful Capitol women" Gale looks like he's going to throw up but at least we know Madge isn't the only one playing an angle

"And what about your fellow tribute?" Ceaser asks, his meaning about as subtle as Effie Trinkett's outfits "Are you and miss Undersee friends?" Ceaser wags his eyebrows, probably trying to get Orion to tell everyone how much he dislikes Madge or how he can't wait to face her in the arena. He normally asks the careers about other tributes to get that sort of reaction and excite the Capitol people

"Honestly?" Orion raises his own eyebrow and smirks "honestly no" Ceaser sits back in his chair and grins triumphantly "we weren't, she was a stuck up brat and I resented her"

"Be careful what you say or you'll have the wrath of Finnick O'dair to deal with" there's a murmur of laughter and Orion chuckles too

"Well I wouldn't want that" Ceaser's about to speak again when Orion cuts him off "but I did say weren't. You see I didn't know Madge then, I judged her before ever even speaking to her"

"And what about now?"

"I can honestly say she's the most spectacular person I know and I'm honored to be here with her" Ceaser sits back in his seat with his eyebrows raised again, this time with his lips pursed and surprise etched onto his features. I can't help but think of their clasped hands at the tribute parade, I can't have been the only one who saw it

"Well spectacular she is, we can agree with that can't we ladies and gentlemen?" The buzzer sounds and Orion chuckles at the capitols very un-subtle timing

"I can't wait to see the new hair" Ceaser jokes once more. Orion leaves the stage with a final wave to the crowd then Ceaser turns to face the nearest camera "well there you have it ladies and gentlemen, your tributes for the 74th annual Hunger Games!"

"What just happened?" Gale murmurs

"I'm not ... entirely sure".


	5. Chapter 5

The arena would've been perfect for me or Gale, thick woods for miles. They're ringed by a river that flows from a waterfall on one side of the cornucopia. It's another reminder it should be me there.

The platforms rise and the screen flashes through each of the tributes. My heart beats in time with the countdown, like my whole world slows and focuses on the monotonous robotic voice '54 53 52 51 ...' . My stomach sinks when Orion's face flits across the screen and then jumps to my throat when I see he's looking at the cornucopia. The screen splits, a high shot of the cornucopia next to a shot of ... Madge, she's taking off her shoes, they're heavy walking boots, perhaps she'll be able to run faster but she'll need them to run through the woods.

It all happens so fast. With perfect accuracy she launches one shoe towards the brutish boy from district 4, three platforms away from her, it hits the side of his head and knocks him from the platform. I, along with the rest of Panem watch with rapt disbelief as he is blown to smithereens. During the confusion Madge throws the second boot towards the evil faced girl from 3, she's quick and deflects the heavy shoe, the cameras show her glare then smirk at Madge, the boot hits the ground at the edge of her platform. The girl is still smirking at Madge when her platform blows.

The remaining tributes gape at the craters where their fellow tributes stood moments ago then they look at Madge with varying emotions, shock, fear, awe, gratitude. Madge Undersee, the quiet mayors daughter just took out the two favorites to win the Hunger Games before they even started. I'm repulsed by myself as I begin to laugh, the surprise causing the most inappropriate laughter to bubble up in me but then Gale joins me, we laugh until the gong rings signaling the end of the count down. I keep my eyes on the birds eye view of the arena, the right side of the screen shows the remaining careers causing havoc ... and death so I stick to the left and with Madge. She stops at the edge of the trees and looks back towards the cornucopia

"What is she doing? Go Undersee!" Gale growls beside me

"Katniss, why isn't she running?" Prim whimpers. I look back at the screen and see that Madge is running, in the wrong direction. She's running towards the cornucopia, right into the bloodbath. It's not until they show Orion trying to over power the boy from 2 I realize what she's doing, she's going back for him. Neither she or Orion has a weapon but the boy from 2 has a club of some kind. That doesn't seem to phase Madge as she simply spears him to the ground leaving Orion gasping for air. The boy from 2 doesn't take more than a few seconds to regain himself and then he's on top of Madge with his hands around her neck, unlike Orion she doesn't try to pull his hands away, instead she punches him in the nose, he's taken by surprise and she's able to get free. She goes straight to Orion and together they take off into the woods with a back pack. I worry for Madge's feet but she doesn't seem to be hindered in any way, in fact she flies through the trees with ease.

The picture changes to follow some of the other tributes, one girl barrels into the river without restrain, the things that could lurk in its depths a lesser threat to her than the bloodbath. They show other tributes taking off in all directions, it's a while before they get back to Madge and Orion. They're shown in glimpses, running, walking, running again, then stopping to rest as the sun reaches its highest point in the sky. They have food rations that will only last till morning, a pair of socks, a coil of wire, iodine and a water bottle. It's not much but it's something and for now they're safe. As safe as they can be in the Hunger Games anyway. Orion halves their dried meat and fruit and hands Madge her portion

"We need water" Orion's voice cracks proving just how dry his throat is

"I know, the meat is salted for preservation I don't think we should eat it"

"You're right, we need more than raisins and apple slices though"

"I can't believe I've been so stupid, water should have been first priority" Madge thumps the ground with her fist

"Madge" Orion says soothingly "safety is first priority, we got out of there" Madge nods "now eat your apples" he scolds teasingly. Madge lays out the contents of their rucksack before them and Orion temples his hands under his chin "any ideas?"

"I know a couple of snares, I've seen a few rabbits today" I look over at Gale and he's looking at me in question

"Did you?" he whispers, I shake my head. I have no idea how Madge knows snares but I'm glad she does. I don't like how exposed they are, no weapons, no cover, no water, hardly any food.

After the bloodbath the careers are made up of both the male and female tributes from 1 and 2 and the girl from 4. Gale scoffs at their careless and heavy footfalls but that's what alerts Madge to their proximity. She and Orion share a whispered debate and quickly decide their best option is to try and get behind them. It's better that they know where the careers are at all times.

"We have a very interesting pair from 12 this year, don't you think Claudius?" Ceaser Flickerman appears in a small square at the corner of the screen

"Yes indeed Ceaser, they certainly had a very interesting reaping and then caused quite a splash in the opening ceremonies and training scores, drew our attention further with their interviews. These two are making for an intriguing games. Never before has a tribute made a kill before the countdown even ended" and then they're showing Madge and her boots again.

The mandatory viewing ends when the killing does and we make our way back to the Hawthornes'. We don't see much of the tributes from 12 for the rest of the day which I take as a good sign. We begin to drift away from the television set but never leave it unoccupied

"They're on, they're on!" Hazelle calls us all back to the TV and quickly ushers Posy and Vick back behind the couch. I wish Prim and Rory would sit with them but they wont.

They're trekking as they had been earlier on in the day, I realize there must be a reason they're showing them again. They must be close to someone, my stomach lurches but then Orion drops to his knees and smiles, he digs his fingers into the dirt and it's soggy, moist like water, they found water. I laugh with relief as they jog to the small stream to fill their bottle with water, adding a few drops of iodine and taking it in turns sipping from the bottle

"We only have the one bottle, do you think we should stay close to the water?" Orion asks

"For now, we'll follow it, if we get to close to the cornucopia we'll turn back?"

"Sure" they eat a small portion of their meat and carry on down the river until the sky begins to darken.


	6. Chapter 6

They replay Madge's 'surprise' over and over, until I'm sure I know every second of it. Ceaser Flickerman and Claudius Templesmith gush over how no tribute in the history of the games has ever 'surprised' the nation so thoroughly, they wonder if she has any more 'surprises' up her sleeve. And she does.

When the girl from 3 and the boy from 4's faces appear in the sky, alongside five others, Madge apologizes. She kisses three fingers and raises them to the sky. The shot changes to the careers getting ready to hunt the remaining tributes but it's too late, we've already seen Madge's apology. In that moment I don't doubt that Madge will kill again and it will change her but she won't let it rule her, she won't let them win.

They show us a map of the arena and highlight the exact location of each tribute. Madge and Orion are watching the careers from a distance but they decide it's pointless when the careers just return to the cornucopia. Five died in the bloodbath, the boy from 6, the girl from 8, the boy from 9 and both from 11, five is possibly the lowest number of bloodbath kills in history. With the two Madge got with the boots, that's seven, leaving 17.

They make camp near the river and Madge unpacks their rucksack again, she picks at the stitching in the socks and slides them onto her hands as fingerless gloves then takes the coil of wire and unravels it, she spends a few minutes winding and unwinding it around her hands to loosen it and Orion watches in amazement at the speed her hands move. I suddenly remember Madge has been walking all day without shoes, every time they show her I make a point of looking at her feet. I never get a clear view but the few glimpses I do get, they look fine, far better than a pair of woolen socks should after trekking through thick foliage for hours. Gale rouses and jerks into a sitting position when he sees Madge is on the screen

"What have I missed?"

"The girl from 9, she got hurt in the bloodbath and lost too much blood"

"How are they?"

"Madge has magic socks" I murmur, frowning at the screen

"What?"

"Oh uh Madge's socks they-"

"They're in the Hunger Games and you're worried about Madge's socks"

"No, well, yes, think about it Gale could you imagine walking through the woods in just a pair of socks, they should be in shreds by now" Gale's brow furrows but then he nods

"You're right, do you think Haymitch knew what she was going to do and gave her special socks?"

"Maybe but only the stylists are allowed in with them, don't they make all of the clothes?" I shrug

"Maybe they're just made of some durable material"

"Then why don't all of the tributes lose the boots, they'd be faster" our conversation is cut off when Madge's head snaps up, her curls bouncing

"Orion. Orion" she shakes his shoulder and whispers urgently, his eyes dart around the immediate vicinity before he's even sitting upright "there's more than one, they're close"

"Careers?" he asks, climbing to his feet and silently collecting their few belongings

"Probably"

"Are you ready for this?" Madge nods and passes a thick pointed branch to Orion then takes out some of the wire left after making snares and wraps it around her hands leaving a length of about a foot between them.

It is the careers and they're heading straight for 12. Madge and Orion press their backs to two trees a few meters apart facing away from the careers. Orion's knuckles turn white as he tightens his grip on the club and Madge closes her eyes and schools her breathing until it's too shallow to even hear. The boisterous and careless voices draw nearer and the camera zooms out to show the careers stumbling through the trees less than a hundred meters away.

They pass by at first, they're not paying much attention to their surroundings, idiots. I thank the stars for their stupidity but then the grizzly boy from one turns back

"I'll catch up I need to take a leak" he makes his way back through the brush and stops way too close to Madge for this to not end in a cannon. Madge looks across at Orion with determined eyes and he looks back at her in question, she shakes her head

"Suede?" the cameras pan around to show the young girl from two stumbling back the same way "are you here?"

"What d'you want?" Suede snaps irritably over his shoulder

"Oh I think you know" Suede sighs and steps away from the tree he had stopped at to pull up his fly "no need for that" the girl smirks and drags a hand across his back

"Whatever, I'm going"

"No, you're not" the girl purrs taking hold of his arm

"Don't! ... touch me"

"I want to do a bit more than touch you" she giggles. Suede shakes his head and pulls his arm free then leaves the direction he came. The girl huffs and stomps her feet, more like the child she is. I wonder how her parents felt watching that. I think she's about to leave as well but instead she whirls around like a petulant toddler having a tantrum and Orion makes the mistake of moving in an attempt to hide

"Hey!" the girl opens her mouth to scream or call for the other careers, I'm not sure because she's cut off by Madge's elbow in the throat. Before she's even hit the ground Madge has the wire cutting off her air supply. It's an act of mercy when she takes the knife from the girl's belt and presses it into her heart, there is no aggression in it, no violence, it's almost tender. Madge winces when the knife's handle is flush with the girl's chest and lays her to the ground when her cannon booms. Orion watches Madge in complete horror before throwing up but when she has to wipe tears from her eyes, he pulls her into an embrace

"It's okay" he soothes her, Gale shifts next to me when he kisses her hair

"Don't hate me" Madge whispers

"Shhh, never" Orion whispers back "c'mon, we should go, they'll work out the cannon was hers and head back this way" Madge nods and when she lifts her head there's no sign of tears, nor is there remorse, just determination.

"Well, well ladies and gentlemen, there you have it, 9 fallen tributes, that leaves 15 as we begin day two of the 73th annual hunger gam-" the TV cuts off before Ceaser Flickerman can finish his sentence and I feel an overwhelming sense of relief and terror. They made it through day one. Madge killed. Madge ... killed.

"I know what you're thinking Catnip. She had to do it" Gale murmurs

"I know"

"Get some sleep"

"Yeah right" Gale lets out a burst of laughter

"Yeah I don't feel like I could either".


	7. Chapter 7

School is where it's worst, the empty seat opposite me at lunch is like a swift kick to the gut. Being paired with Leevy for my history of Panem assignment is like having my intestines torn out and catching glimpses of the games between classes is excruciating.

On the walk home Gale comes to a sudden stop and I turn to face the huge screen in the square, it's on which means a fight is looming and a crowd has gathered to watch the careers surround the boy from 7. He puts up a good fight, jamming a dagger in 4's leg and winding the boy from 2. He lands a few punches and scrambles through the brush a couple hundred meters but inevitably they catch him and finish him with a sword, I'm not even sure which one of them it was. I'm ready to carry on home when the stocky boy from 1 shouts that he can see 12. The careers were pissed when Madge had a better score than all of them and have been trying to work out how she did it since. They figured it must have been her and Orion who killed one of their own and although it wasn't much of a loss, they've held a grudge.

The cannon had already caught Madge's attention, she and Orion seem to be very aware of their surroundings and have managed to avoid any other tributes. Madge has always been vigilant and so far it's kept them relatively safe but the gamemakers will start forcing the tributes together soon.

Orion spots the careers coming towards them in plenty of time and he and Madge cross the river, disappearing into the trees the other side. By the time the careers have crossed after them 12 are hidden in the trees far above their heads. Unfortunately Suede can track and works out exactly where Orion's heavy treads lead. The careers are gathered around the base of the tree deciding who should go up after him when in a move so unexplainable, Madge drops from her hiding place in a nearby tree.

Hearing the light thump and the scuffle of leaves as she lands the remaining careers wheel around and face her. I can't breathe, no one can, the square has fallen silent

"Look who it is" the boy from 2 smirks

"Aren't you going to run 12?" the girl from 1 asks with a furrowed brow. My point exactly! Why aren't you running Madge?! She doesn't move, she keeps a strong stance and rocks slightly on her feet "something's wrong" the girl mutters "she got an 11 for a reason"

"She did" the girl from 4 agrees "let's find out what it is shall we?" she says spinning a large knife around on her palm. Prim buries her face in my back and whispers my name through tears, I choke an incoherent reply but don't look away from the screen as the girl from 4 throws her knife. It's like the boots all over again, I don't believe my eyes as Madge deflects the knife with a flick of her wrist "neat trick" I get the feeling we haven't seen anything yet.

It's like she's not even touching them! They run at her one after the other and time and again she deflects their hits and sends them careening off in the direction they came at her. When the boy from 1 swings at her she catches his fist and ducks under his arm so he's pinned. His wrist at an angle precariously close to snapping. She knocks the back of his knee with her foot and he falls to the ground with a grunt, the boy from 2 dives at her and I wince as they fall, all the brute's weight crushing Madge to the stony forest floor. He tries to pin Madge beneath him but she's out from beneath him and on her feet before he's fully aware of himself. By the time he's upright Madge is ready, she thrusts her palm towards him and the heel of her hand makes impact with the top of his cranium, he falls unconscious to the floor at the same time Madge swings her leg back and knocks the girl from 4 out with a kick to the temple.

The girl from 1, who had held back until know tightens the grip she has on her sword and they stare each other down. The boy from 1 clambers to his feet and Madge grips a point between his neck and shoulder, his legs buckle beneath him and he falls face down in the mud again. The girl from 1 watches her district partner fall in a heap then grits her teeth and runs at Madge sword raised. As the sword slices through the air Madge jabs both her palms into the girls chest, throwing her back a few feet. When she returns it is faster and more aggressive and Madge jabs two fingers into her sternum, breast bone and finally a palm to the center of her ribcage which incapacitates the girl and leaves everyone else baffled

"What the hell was that?" Gale whispers harshly "she just poked her"

"It's called Kun Foo" a man rasps behind me and I turn to find Darius, he's barely recognizable without his peacekeeper uniform and all his unruly red hair disguised under a thick woolen hat

"What?" Gale asks, confusion plain in his tone

"Kun Foo" Darius whispers "an ancient fighting style from much before the Dark Days"

"Kun Foo?" I question

"No, no, Kung Fu, with a 'U', that's what Madge just did" he says pointing to the screen where Madge is calling Orion down from his perch

"Are they dead?" Gale wonders curiously

"The girl from 1 could be, it depends how precise Madge was and how hard she hit her. The others are just unconscious"

"How do you know all that?" I ask, Darius shrugs "How does Madge know how to do that?" he shrugs again but amusement tugs at his lips "so she could be dead? The girl from 1? Just from being poked?" Darius grins

"She didn't just poke her sweet cheeks. She targeted their pressure points, used their nervous systems to incapacitate them" Darius explains as if I'm stupid. I'd be insulted if I wasn't so confused

"But all she did was poke her" Gale murmurs again, Darius shakes his head as if amused by an errant child

"Will she kill them now?" I ask. She should really, she should take her chance now, it would be clean and easy and smart

"How should I know?" Darius smirks "I've never even spoken to her" he grins before taking one last look at the screen and strutting off through the crowd. I'm left with more questions than I could ever hope to answer. The last being; why would Darius lie?


	8. Chapter 8

She doesn't kill them. We stay to see Madge and Orion make it safely into the thick foliage and out of sight and wait a few minutes for the careers to rouse. The girl from 1 never wakes up, her canon booms not long after we leave and I can hear it half way to the seam. My mother is busy with a patient when we get home. A man injured in the mines this morning, there's still a lot of blood and I'm back out the door before my boots are on properly.

The hob is quiet, it's that time of day where there's a lull in trades before the miners get off work and everyone is charging way more than they should. Everyone except Greasy Sae that is and that's where I go, she fills a bowl with her famously mysterious stew and I perch on the edge of her counter to eat it. I scoop up a spoonful of what be must be some sort of root and marvel at how satisfying it is. I worked out a long time ago it's better to not ask and just chew when it comes to Sae's stew and it tastes so good it's easy enough to ignore whatever it is she's passing off as meat.

"Your friend, the mayors girl. She's doing well" Sae says stirring something new into her pot

"I didn't know she could do all those things, I thought- I was sure I'd never see her again"

"And now?"

"You saw what she did Sae. I've never seen any tribute do anything like that before, have you?"

"No I can say for certain, I've never seen anything quite like that before"

"I just don't understand how no one knew. I mean, we weren't real close or anything but I never could have even guessed-"

"I'm not sure no one knew" Sae says cryptically her eyes fixed over my shoulder "that devilish little copper top has been grinning at that screen all day" I follow her gaze without really needing to, there's a handful of people in 12 with red hair and only one of them frequents the hob, Darius

"You think he knows something?"

"Oh he knows something alright"

"Thanks Sae" I deposit the empty bowl on her counter and lift my game bag back on to my shoulder

"Hey!" Sae calls after me "you be careful girl" she says with serious eyes "he might be alright but he's still a peacekeeper" she warns, reading my mind.

I follow Darius around the hob for almost an hour and then when he leaves I grab the back of his jacket and yank him into a shaded alcove at the side of the building

"What the!- Katniss?" Darius asks, dusting off his pants "If you'd wanted to get me on my own all you had to do was ask" he smirks

"What do you know?" I demand

"Lots of things" he grins

"About Madge"

"Mayors daughter right? Pretty girl"

"Don't give me that Darius, I know you know her" his lips twitch slightly and I scowl at him

"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about" he chuckles

"You know something, you knew about that Kung Fooey thing and you're lying about not knowing her"

"We're friends and she can hold her own in a fight" Darius shrugs "so what?"

"So WHAT?!" I hiss "she's in the games! In the place of my sister!"

"I know that"

"Then tell me what's going on!" Darius sighs heavily

"If you were anyone else I wouldn't even still be standing here" he says seriously "I don't think you're going to like what you find if you keep chasing this"

"I want to know"

"I was scared you'd say that. Bring Gale, meet me here this time tomorrow" he gets a few feet away before he turns back "and Katniss? She's coming home".

My mind is reeling as I wander back through town, my mind feels both numb and overwhelmed and it is a completely unwelcome sensation. There's so much grey in this district there's never been any room for it in my mind. I've always seen everything in black and white. I'll hunt and trade to put food on the table until I finish school then I'll go into the mines and save every penny to ensure Prim never has to. That was it, there was never anything else, it was all clear. But with the calling of a name everything has blurred to a murky shade of grey.

In my daze I let my feet carry me, I traipse through the district completely unaware of everything around me. So much so, I end up colliding with a solid wall, though I swear I was nowhere near any buildings

"My goodness, Katniss I'm so sorry" Mr. Mellark looms over me, a look of horror on his face as he bends to help me up

"No worries, I wasn't looking where I was going" Mr. Mellark is probably the only person in town who's hand I'd take when offered, so when he holds it out I grasp it and let him pull me to my feet

"Oh Katniss, I'm so sorry" Mr. Mellark gasps cradling my hand, I look down to find the heel of my hand is shredded and dirty. Mr. Mellark lifts my other hand and I see it's in even worse shape, out in the chilled air they're starting to sting "come with me" he says shifting his parcels under one arm and putting the other around me. It's entirely unnecessary and making me uncomfortable but he's warm and I'm flustered so I cooperate "I'm sure I have some salve or something for this in the bakery"

"Oh no, that's okay"

"Katniss please, it's all my fault"

"No really it's alright, I walked into you. I'll just go home and wash them off"

"Katniss they may get infected and I can't have that. Just, come inside please" I just don't have it in me to argue with him so I let him lead me across the street to the bakery. From the front of the shop he leads me back through the kitchen and past the back door to a small washroom "the pipes are a little iffy so we'll have to wait a minute for clean water" Mr. Mellark explains, twisting a tap. The tap sputters for a moment before a steady stream flows, instead of holding my hands under the stream Mr. Mellark fills a kettle from the kitchen and puts it to boil "why don't you take a seat" he says, gesturing to one of the stools around the work station in the kitchen. I do as he says and watch as he goes about filling a bowl with warm water and collecting a clean cloth

"Mr. Mellark really-"

"I insist" he cuts me off and lifts the warmed cloth to my right hand. When he dabs at the scrapes I wince, some of them are pretty deep "gosh Katniss, I'm so sorry"

"It's nothing and it was my own fault" Mr. Mellark opens his mouth to apologize again I expect but he's interrupted by Rye and Peeta Mellark as they come in through the store front

"What's all this?" Rye asks

"I knocked Katniss over" Mr. Mellark tells them

"It was my fault" I repeat

"I'm just tending her wounds" Mr. Mellark adds as if I'm dying from blood loss

"Oh, well we're back from deliveries and we have some new orders" Rye replies and jerks his head towards the storefront with a smirk

"Oh!" Mr. Mellark's brows lift as if he's understood some hidden meaning "Peeta why don't you help Katniss while I sort these new orders. Peeta's eyes widen considerably the same way mine do as Mr. Mellark crosses the room

"That's really not necessary" I tell them worriedly

"Nonsense" Mr. Mellark grins "Peeta?"

"O-okay" the youngest Mellark stutters and sheds his coat.

"You really don't have to" I tell Peeta when his father and brother have left the room

"It's no problem Katniss" he assures me and wrings out the cloth his father had been using. His large hands are surprisingly gentle as they tend to mine. I almost smile at the concentration that morphs his features as he works, it's bordering comical, the care he takes with the tiniest task. It takes longer than it should but eventually my hands are clean of grime and blood and there's a strange tension in the now stifling room

"Thank you" I murmur and make to stand

"Hang on" Peeta says, holding out his hands to stop me. He crosses to the ovens opposite us and pulls a small box off a shelf above them "this is the Mellark bakery necessity box" he tells me, taking out a tube of something "this is antiseptic cream, the first thing on every order for the supply train" he squeezes a small blob onto his forefinger and gives me a questioning glance. I nod and he softly rubs the soothing cream in to the cuts on my hands "it's a must have around here, lots of ovens, lots of burns" I return the small smile he gives me as best I can out of gratitude but truthfully I'm distracted by whatever it is happening to me. I feel awkward, more so than usual but also comfortable and expectant, of what, I don't know "there we go, all better" Peeta chirps

"Thank you" I say sincerely, still baffled by my willingness to accept help from this family "could you thank your dad for me too. Tell him I'll bring extra squirrel"

"Katniss" Peeta smiles and shakes his head "there's really no need"

"I want to, you used you're emergency burn cream, it must be expensive -"

"Katniss-"

"No, from what you said, it's in high demand around here so ... I want to"

"Okay"

"Okay" I agree, moving towards the back door "thank you"

"Anytime".


	9. Chapter 9

Madge decides they need to establish some sort of plan and wants to try and find a way to the top of the waterfall to get a better view of the arena. I recognise this side of Madge, the side that collects all the information she can then processes it, making something entirely too complex comprehensible.

They walk ... and walk, for hours. They're only shown once or twice when a tribute gets close but they never cross paths. My relief at that fact is marred by my dread that the capitol are bored and the game makers will be forced to create something for them to watch. They do. But not at all in the way I expected. Instead of forcing tributes together they put some sort of predator into the arena. Ceaser Flickerman calls it a mountain lion but I've seen a mountain lion and that is not what this is. It may have started that way, a lean feline a little bigger than me but that was before the capitol got it's hands on it. They've turned a once graceful predator into a beast, given it curved talons in the place of claws, a whip like tail too long and sharp for that of a real mountain lion, they've doubled it's body mass and replaced it's natural thick hide with tough spiked leathery armour over it's back, shoulders and head that almost resembles scales.

I've only ever seen a mountain lion in daylight but I imagine at night their eyes are much like Buttercup's, reflective and bright. This creatures however are smaller, narrower and entirely black. It slinks between the trees flicking out a forked tongue and twitching it's head side to side.

"Sick" Gale spits "look what they've done to it. A beautiful creature mutated to look like that"

As night falls in the arena, the clock in the town square tolls noon and I stop to watch the beastly thing stalk the pair from 10. They never even see it coming, the beast uses it's front legs like a man would arms and rips the boy clean in two. The girl, overcome with hysterics doesn't even try to run or fight back instead she falls to the floor beside the mangled torso and head of her district partner and wails as the beast mauls her legs. It's torturing her, a normal, natural, untainted mountain lion goes for the kill. A neck wound to bring down it's pray as quickly as possible, mercifully. Anyone who has stopped to watch stares in disgust yet find themselves unable to look away as her blood and flesh cover the forest floor. When her legs are no longer recognisable as body parts I'm sure she'll bleed out and die but she doesn't. Her cries become whimpers and gurgled moans as the beast claws at her and tears pieces away. When the cannon finally fires the beast jaws fall slack and disregard whatever it was holding, her shoulder maybe and it wanders off leaving a gruesome puddle of crimson blood and body parts scattered like debris. The game makers have outdone themselves.

After minutes of watching a hovercraft make multiple trips to collect the two fallen tributes I'm watching the screen intently with tears brimming in my eyes. That was abhorrent, the games always are but that was the cruelest, most inhumane thing I've ever witnessed or heard of them doing. I think of their families, in District 10 having to watch that, suffer their children's pain with them as they watched them tortured and dismembered.

I've never been this angry. Not when dad died, not when I had to sign for tessera, not when my mother become dormant, not even when they called Prim's name. If I could I'd set the capitol aflame and watch it burn. I'm distracted when Madge's gold curls appear before me. If they're showing 12 it's for a reason, I pray it's a fellow tribute closing on them and not the monstrosity the capitol created.

"The arena didn't seem this big. How long have we been walking? Are we even going the right way?" Orion asks as he treks beside Madge up a steep incline

"It's hard to tell without the sun" Madge tells him looking up briefly "not that it was accurate" she adds with exasperation "As for direction, I don't know. The ground isn't as dry as it was back there so I'd say this way" Madge says pointing straight ahead

"Can't you use the stars or something?" Orion grumbles half heartedly

"I could" Madge sighs "if they were the stars, it's just a projection" she clarifies

"How do you know?" Madge looks up again then drops down beside Orion where he's slumped over his backpack

"You see that big one? Kind of off to the left on its own?" she points upwards at something we can't see and I beg for them to get up, check their surroundings, keep moving, anything!

"Yeah" Orion answers breathlessly

"That's the big dipper, you see the little dipper is just below it"

"Oh yeah"

"Well they're the only accurate ones as far as I can tell, there's no north star, no Orion's belt, no-"

"My what?" Orion cuts her off, Madge laughs

"Orion's belt, it's three stars in sort of a straight line" she tells him

"There are stars named after me?" Orion chortles sleepily and lays back with his head on his backpack

"I'd say it's more you were named after them but yes. It's my favourite constellation, Orion the Hunter" Madge says dreamily, craning her head back to look at the sky

"How come?" Orion yawns, Madge smiles to herself

"Always did have a thing for hunters" her smile becomes wistful and she turns to a half conscious Orion "get some sleep, I'll wake you at dawn"

"Kay" he murmurs, already succumbing to exhaustion. I look across at Gale worriedly, why are they showing Madge and Orion? They must be in danger. Only when my eyes leave the screen do I notice the small crowds around us are all looking in our direction, at me and our families but Gale in particular

"What's going on?" I whisper but Gale doesn't answer. I look up and find him still watching Madge watch the stars. Hazelle catches my eye and I furrow my brow in question

"As far as I know you and Gale are the only hunters in 12" she says mystically with a sad tone

"We are" I frown at her seemingly random comment. Then get over my anger and anxiety enough to think about what Madge said 'Orion the Hunter. Always did have a thing for hunters'. I don't understand it, I don't know what it means or why everyone looked at us. It's no secret that Gale and I hunt illegally but no one would ever report us, especially not Madge so why would people point it out now? My train of thought is brought to a terrifying stop when something startles Madge, she springs to her feet and turns to face the source. In the darkness she is blind and for some reason so are we. The capitol has cameras that allow us to see what's happening in the dark, night vision or something, but they aren't using it. All we can see is a hint of Madge's fair hair as she searches the darkness and how she stops breathing when it emits a low growl.


	10. Chapter 10

I can't bring myself to watch. I hear the gasp of the crowd and Madge's grunt as she hits the ground, I hear snarls and I hear Orion waking. I hear Orion cry out and people around me gasp and whimper. I hear Madge scream his name and the beast roar. Prim who's head is buried in my chest the same way mine is in her hair, begins to sob. Madge calls Orion's name again and beside me Gale let's out a breath of air that seems almost relieved

"Good girl" Hazelle whispers and I look up. My heart stops. Madge is straddling the beast, easily three times her size with the sword they took from their fight with the careers buried deep into its back. She gasps for breath and gingerly takes her hands from the sword, they're shaking uncontrollably and she falls to the side exhausted. The body of the beast falls with her and reveals Orion on the ground covered in gauges and bloody scrapes. Gasping for breath but alive. Alive!

"She saved him" I whisper, I didn't have to see it to know that. At my words Prim lifts her head and searches the screen

"She did?" she whimpers

"She did" Gale croaks.

Orion scrambles to Madge's side on all fours and takes her face in his hands

"Madge" he begs "Madge" he pleads desperately "Madge, wake up!" he yells "Madge, wake up, right now!" a single tear rolls down his cheek as he looks over her for signs of injury "Madge, I mean it! Wake up!" he yells again and Madge bolts upright "Madge!" he gasps and crushes her into his chest, her eyes dart around before she squeezes back and gulps in lungfuls of air "are you alright? Are you hurt?"

"I'm-m f-fine" she breathes "are y-you okay-ay?"

"Fine, I'm fine. Thank you"

"What th-the h-h-hell is-s th-that th-th-thing?" Madge stutters through tears

"It's okay, it's okay" Orion soothes but Madge continues to shake and sob uncontrollably, losing her composure for the first time in her life. Prim looks up at me, tears of her own wetting her cheeks

"Katniss what's wrong with her?" if it was anyone else, I'd simply answer 'she's in the games' but it's not, it's Madge and she never loses control like this

"It's the mutt" I'm startled by my mothers voice, I often forget her presence and hearing her speak so strongly is unsettling "her aunt was killed by a mutt in the second quarter quell" that's right, Maysilee. I've heard people speak of Maysilee, often in relation to Haymitch Abbernathy's drinking

"Poor Madge" Prim sobs.

They don't show anymore of Madge's breakdown and the mandatory viewing ends with the career boy Suede - District 1 have such stupid names - killing the boy from 5 with his bare hands.

"Are you sure about this?" Gale asks worriedly. We're awaiting Darius in the alcove where I accosted him yesterday and as nervous as I am, I'm desperate for information

"No but it's a risk I'm willing to take" I tell him truthfully.

Darius jogs over to us casually, he's in regular clothes and the same woollen hat hides his hair

"What're you two doing skulking around in the shadows?" he chuckles

"No jokes Darius, just tell us what you know" I demand

"Fair enough, not here though" he says in a much more serious manner. We follow him in apprehensive silence to a derelict building between Rooba the butcher's and the Hob "quietly" Darius warns as he steps through the unlocked door. He walks to the centre of the empty room, the floorboards squeaking slightly beneath his feet and creaking as he shifts his weight. He turns on the spot and grins holding his arms out at his sides

"Welcome to D12 Rebellion HQ".

Gale and I share a look of dread, that is not a freely spoken word. It's treasonous, merely uttering the word can land you in a grave and here, Darius - a peacekeeper - says it with an amused smile on his lips

"Don't look so worried, there's nothing to be scared of" Gale and I remain silent, part of me wants to barrel from the room and as far away from it as possible but it's not a big enough part

"You're a peacekeeper" Gale states simply

"Not right now" Darius answers easily

"Uniform or not" Gale snaps

"Lighten up would you, you're not even this surly with me when I'm on duty"

"You don't talk about rebellion on duty"

"Gale!" I warn through gritted teeth

"Look, you're the ones who wanted to know what was going on. I'm just trying to tell you"

"Then tell us!" Gale gripes

"I think it goes without saying anything I say in this room doesn't leave"

"Talk!" Gale growls

"The districts aren't happy. You think it's bad here? This is nothing. Compared to 11 and 8, we're living the high life. I'm talking daily floggings, bad tessera grain, curfews and that's just to start"

"How come it's not like that here?"

"12's small, we're not a threat, easily ignored. The mayor can cover it up easily because he's not under as close a scrutiny"

"The mayor?"

"He does what he can. You think you've got it bad but it would be a hell of a lot worse if it weren't for him. Who do you think turns the fences off for you?"

"What has this got to do with Madge and the games?" I ask, still unsettled, I don't feel safe

"Everything" Darius replies without hesitation "this has been years in the making and you wouldn't believe half of it if I told you"

"So what about the games?" Gale pushes

"We figured the best way to make a stand was to hit them where it hurts. And what's more important to the capitol than the games?" Gale and I share another look and Darius continues, his voice rising and becoming more aggressive with every word "The plan was to put someone in the games, someone who would win, be the perfect victor and have the position and opportunity to change things"

"How?"

"Anyone who watches television knows Finnick O'dair is the most televised person in Panem, he has fans and therefore influence"

"So Finnick O'dair is supposed to change things?" I wonder

"No, I told you this is deep, goes back years. Finnick O'dair is just the beginning, he wasn't even approached until two years after he won"

"Get to the point Darius"

"We trained someone to go in to the quarter quell and reek havoc. There was this whole plan to blow up the arena and rescue the tributes but then your sisters name was called"

"What does this have to do with Prim?" I ask, terrified of what his answer might be

"Madge volunteered"

"So?" Gale questions, Darius scowls at his nonchalant tone and disregard for Madge's sacrifice

"It was too early" Darius snaps "she was supposed to volunteer for the quell when she was 18"

"What?" I gasp, Gale chokes on his tongue like he wants to cry and Darius rubs his hands over his face

"She's been training for the games since she was a toddler but she's too damn good a person to have let Prim go"

"Madge wanted to go into the games?" I ask, Darius nods, Gale remains stoic, I'm not even sure he's breathing

"She should have had a couple more years but she was ready, she knew what she was doing"

"But you said there was a plan?" Gale reminds him having finally come back to life

"There was but it's had to change"

"How?"

"There's no longer a rescue mission" Darius states coldly

"And her parents knew about this?!" Gale asks in disbelief

"Of course they weren't happy about it. Her mother was still relatively healthy before Madge started learning how to kill"

"Her father?" I wonder

"Thought he had two years to talk her out of it" Darius says solemnly

"I don't believe this" Gale murmurs, running his hands through his hair and pacing

"You want proof" Darius crosses the room to a rotting door in the corner and we follow him through to a bigger room stacked floor to ceiling, wall to wall with boxes and files "this" Darius gestures to two of the four walls of neatly stacked files "was all Madge" Gale wanders over to a box labelled 'Supply Train' and opens it. He takes a stack of papers from inside and scans it quickly, his features changing to a look of disgusted disbelief

"Is this true?" he asks Darius, pointing to the papers "they withhold supplies on purpose?" Darius nods and Gale moves onto a box labelled 'Tessera' and scans over the papers inside "no" he whispers "they can't" he sounds completely distraught "they're going to lower the age, children as young as 8 having extra slips in the bowl by their first reaping?!" Darius nods sadly "Vick's 8" he drops the papers back in the box and tugs on his hair, his pacing comes to a sudden stop when he sees a larger box near the top. When I see it's label I move beside him and watch as he opens it. It's labelled 'Mine Collapses' and it's contents make me feel sick. The files are tagged either 'Accidental' or 'Intentional', 90 percent of them are tagged with the latter and I have to sit down. Gale tears through the files until he comes to the one I know he's looking for "it was planned" he chokes "they did it on purpose, my dad, your dad" he drops the file and punches the wall beside him before collapsing to the floor with his head in his hands.

I can't breathe, it's like my anger has formed a vice around my lungs and they're being crushed. I never stopped grieving and I doubt I ever will but now I feel the way I did when that siren went off. They did it on purpose. They murdered my dad on purpose. He was never meant to die, he's meant to be here. Gale and I stay in our crouched positions for a while, I'm rocking slightly when he reaches for the file and begins to read

"They targeted the section our dads were in" he murmurs "reasons?" Gale asks Darius

"Madge" he says simply "some of them are theories but that particular one was in retaliation. I think you should read it" I hear the words but I don't let them sink in, not really

"It is my belief" Gale reads "that the explosion and resulting collapse were caused by a strategically placed and controlled trigger explosive, targeting Harris Birch, Archer Everdeen, Lucifer Granger, Hunter Hawthorne, Thomas Redmore and Frank Watson for their involvement in strikes and rumoured uprisings. Everdeen, Hawthorne and Redmore were known to the D12 rebels as trusted sources and reliable accomplices" there it is again, that word, rebel. This time in relation to my father.


	11. Chapter 11

I'm too overwhelmed to focus on anything. My mind races with thoughts of mine collapses and rebellions and the fact that my father was up to his neck involved with all of it. I always knew my dad hated how people in the Seam lived but we weren't doing as bad as others, with dad's hunting and trading we did alright, better than most in the Seam. I could never have imagined he was part of a rebellion, I wonder if my mother knew? If he would've told me had I been older? Or would he have kept us in the dark for our own safety? Would he still be alive if he hadn't been involved? The chaos in my mind drives me the other side of the fence in search of calm and serenity.

The woods don't bring the relief they usually do. I miss every shot and trip over roots that aren't even in my path. There's just too much to process and Darius says we've barely scratched the surface, truthfully until I can stop worrying about Madge I'm not sure how much more I can handle. I've been sitting on a fallen tree letting my thoughts whirlwind around in my head for a long time, having given up on the idea of actually shooting something in this state. It takes me longer than it should to hear Gale approaching, I'm just too distracted by everything and consumed by thoughts of fire and gunshots and men screaming. So when he calls out to me I startle and almost fall from my perch

"I read every sheet in that file then read files on our dads" he tells me "they were pretty involved Catnip" I don't even frown at the nickname, I just don't have the energy for it "and Madge" he shakes his head and his solemn tone gains an air of awe and respect "she's done so much. She's done so much good and never asked anything in return"

"I already owe her so much Gale"

"I think I know what my ma meant about her taking care of my family" he says sadly and I turn to face him "after dad died she brought us food, she's been slipping things to the kids ever since and she sent all but one of my ma's customers. Not to mention what she did for Rory"

"I don't understand how we couldn't have known"

"She been doing this for years. Do you know she was only 9 the first time she thwarted a plan to collapse a section of the mines, there's been countless times since"

"This is too much. We shouldn't be getting involved in this Gale"

"Are you serious?!" he yells "this is exactly what we should be doing"

"It's a death wish"

"It's what we've been waiting for"

"It's what you've been waiting for!" I correct him

"I can't believe you're going to just ignore this"

"I won't do anything to endanger Prim"

"You're kidding me, you should be doing this for Prim! They were about to take her Katniss". Gale leaves after a few minutes of silence though I can tell he wants to talk. I'm ready to follow him when I remember my promise to bring the Mellark's squirrel and turn back. My aim has been off all morning but I pull myself together enough to bag three squirrels and a few handfuls of blackberries to sweeten the deal.

"Katniss! Back so soon" Mr. Mellark grins, standing in the bakery's back door, wiping his hand in his equally dirty apron "how're your hands?"

"All better, thank you. I have your squirrel" I tell him showing my full bag

"Boy you really are spoiling me" he chortles "how many today?"

"Three and some blackberries"

"Perfect! Come in while I get your payment"

"Oh no Mr. Mellark these or for all your help the other day"

"Nonsense that's hardly a fair trade"

"Sir, I can't pay you back for the antiseptic medicine, my sister says it's expensive but this is all I can offer"

"Sir? Please Katniss I don't look that old do I?"

"No" I smile at as he gestures to himself

"Then no more 'Sir' and let me get you something"

"Mr. Mellark I can't" he sighs

"How about I take a squirrel off your hands and pay you for the rest?"

"Two squirrel and the berries" I counter

"The berries and one squirrel"

"Okay" I concede and Mr. Mellark grins widely

"Great, come on in" I hesitantly follow the baker into his kitchen where his two younger sons are cleaning the ovens

"Hello again Everdeen" Rye Mellark calls over his shoulder, I tip my head in return

"Hi Katniss" Peeta warbles

"Peeta" I half smile

"How're your hands?"

"Much better, thanks" he smiles warmly

"Good"

"Here we are Katniss" says handing me two wrapped parcels, two whole loaves. I open my mouth to refuse but he holds up his free hand "please"

"Wait dad" Peeta stands and wipes off his hands before crossing over to the cooling racks behind me and packing something into a box "here, take these instead" I flip back the lid of the box and my mouth immediately begins to water, cheese buns, my absolute favourite thing to eat

"Cheese buns" I exclaim "I can't take these"

"Of course you can" Peeta and his father assure me, I can't help but match the smirk Peeta's older brother is wearing

"Typical" he smiles and rolls his eyes

"You once told me they were your favourite" Peeta says, it's true but I've only interacted with Peeta a few times in my life. I can't recall ever telling him that and I've only had cheese buns twice, both times when my dad was still alive. My father the rebel "it was years ago" Peeta continues "we were just kids, maybe 7 or 8 and you come in with your dad" he says carefully. I recall that day, I'd only had the treat once before and I hadn't known when we come into town that we'd be coming to the bakery. So when my dad tugged me in to the delicious warmth by our clasped hands I'd taken in deep breaths to savour the smell. He'd asked me what I wanted and told me I could pick two of anything, one for myself and one for Prim. He and Mr. Mellark had suggested every flavour cookie and pastry there was but I knew what I wanted. When I'd asked for cheese buns both men had chuckled at my choice but I wasn't going to change it. I remember a curly yellow haired boy bringing them to the counter. A boy I know recognise to be Peeta, he was like a ray of sunshine and cherub like with his dimples, round cheeks and puppy fat. He had held out the box to me and proudly proclaimed that he'd helped his dad measure the ingredients for them just that morning. I'd taken the box eagerly, explaining they were my favourite and congratulated him just as cheerfully

"I remember" I tell him, unable to stop the corners of my lips from turning up "I can't believe you do" his face suddenly gets serious, his eyes convey honesty and sincerity and his voice lowers to a deep resounding volume

"I remember everything about you Katniss".


	12. Chapter 12

When they let us see Madge and Orion again they've made camp a few hundred metres from the drop of the waterfall. Orion's wounds have been tended to and they've been able to start a fire to cook more rabbit meet, Madge is back to her usual self, her breakdown after killing the mutt all but forgotten. I'm just grateful they're still alive.

The beast seems to have placated the capitol for now so the gamemakers allow the tributes a relatively peaceful day, with only 10 tributes left they're showing more of the tributes while Ceaser Flickerman gives trivial and unsubstantial information on them. Eventually he brings up Madge's abilities, he doesn't mention how districts 1 and 2 have been training tributes for years and says that her beauty has caused quite a stir in the capitol, that's something Darius had been seriously worried about but he didn't say why. The mandatory viewing ends after the girl from 7 gets desperate and eats some poisonous berries. We see it coming, nightlock was one of the first things my dad made sure to warn me of when he started taking me to the woods and in a way I'm happy, if she had to die I'm glad it was quickly and painlessly.

The walk home is silent, even Posy understands that words aren't needed right now. I turn on the television before even taking off my boots when we reach the house and sink to the floor in front of our worn couch. Hazelle walks home with Vick and Posy but encourages Gale and Rory to stay, I think she does it for Prim and I's benefit and for the first time in years I think I may actually need company. Mainly to keep me from getting lost in my thoughts but also because being alone is becoming a more and more terrifying concept to me.

It doesn't take long for them to show 12 and as usual that makes my heart beat faster and my airway tighten. They've dampened their fire and lay back to back a few feet apart facing opposite directions. They're both awake but they don't speak. I'm worried about what they aren't showing us when a quiet ding anyone would recognise sounds and begins to get louder as the parachute floats down and lands right before Madge's eyes.

"What is it Goldilocks?" Orion asks, he's taken to calling her that and no one's entirely sure why but Hazelle said it's something from and old fairytale. Madge hands him the package without even looking at it and instead goes straight for the small card at the bottom of the canister. She reads it quickly and covers it before any of the cameras can get a good enough look. She turns to Orion and shows him the card while he uncovers a pair of polished black dice. Madge takes them from him grinning while he reads the note

"You never cease to amaze me partner" at first I think she's talking to Orion but she's not looking at him and she's still smiling at the dice. Orion reads over the slip of paper again then looks across at Madge

"In your interview, you said there wasn't anyone. That wasn't true was it?"

"Anyone what?" Madge asks rolling the dice around in her hand

"C'mon Goldilocks, you know what I mean" Orion nudges her with his elbow and Madge sighs

"It hardly matters now does it"

"I'd say so, why shouldn't we be aloud to behave like teenagers for a while? C'mon Madge tell me! Who is it? Do I know him? C'mon lets be giggly girls and tell each other secrets" Madge sighs once more then takes a look at Orion and laughs

"Fine, you first"

"Okay, but only because I'm such a nice person"

"I don't know where to start" Madge shrugs "I guess uh, how old were you when you had your first kiss?" Orion chortles, deep dimples forming in his cheeks

"13, it was awful! I missed her mouth, dribbled, probably traumatised her. But I can assure you, I'm much better at it now"

"I'm sure you are" Madge chuckles

"You?"

"Hm?" Madge feigns obliviousness

"First kiss?" Orion prompts

"14, my best friends brother, he felt sorry for me" Who is Madge's best friend? And why am I hurt that it's not me?

"Awkward?"

"No, not really, we're still good friends"

"Oh?" Orion says in intrigued surprise

"Where was it?"

"Slag heap" Orion snorts "where else" the two laugh "yours?"

"I can't tell you without giving away who it was" Madge grins

"Okay then, how many?" Madge lifts her head and laughs at Orion

"You're such a little girl, I guess, two ... three if you count Finnick O'dair"

"You guess?"

"Okay three" Madge laughs "you?"

"A lot more than three"

"So you've lost count?" she chuckles again and shoves his arm

"More like I never kept track"

"Same thing"

"Not necessarily" Orion grins "Ever had a boyfriend?" Madge scoffs

"No!"

"Why not?"

"No one was ever interested"

"Oh that can't be true, what about the guys you kissed?"

"Like I said, one was a pity kiss, the other was an accident"

"There's always Finnick O'dair" Orion says seriously then breaks into a huge grin and they both laugh "you really never had a boyfriend?"

"I told you, no one was ever interested. I mean, you know what everyone thinks of me, you hated me"

"Goldy I-"

"It's okay Orion" Madge cuts him off "I understand"

"Well I assure you, once they see you for what you really are, they'll be queueing down the street"

"Sure" Madge chuckles

"I'm serious Madge, you're a really amazing person and it's definitely not a visual thing because, you know, you're well, frankly Goldilocks you're smoking hot" Madge snorts "maybe not when you do that but-" they laugh again and I almost forget I'm watching them in the games. I'm glad they're still able to feel even a little bit of reprieve

"What about you? How many lucky ladies have had the honour of being on your arm?"

"None, there's been girls but none of them ever stuck you know?"

"No, I don't" Madge says bluntly before they laugh again

"Always had a thing for this one girl though" Madge turns her head to look at Orion and he smiles

"Does she know?"

"Nah"

"How come?"

"She's a townie" Orion says simply

"I see" Madge nods looking thoughtful "tell me about her" Orion smiles

"She's a pain in the ass" I can't help my own laughter but there's nothing but fondness in his tone, i don't feel like I'm watching the games "she's so loud, always smiling and always happy you know. You don't see that much" especially not in 12

"What does she look like?" Madge wonders

"Typical townie, head of blonde ringlets and giant blue eyes but she's got these pouty lips and dimples in her cheeks. She looks a little like you actually, bout an inch shorter and a little more curvy ... no offence"

"None taken" Madge smiles widely

"And I know it was never gonna happen but I was always just drawn to her you know?"

"Yeah" Madge grins, they're quiet for a while before Madge opens her mouth to speak again "I know who you're talking about" Orion grins at the sky

"Yeah, I know"

"She wouldn't care, that you're- whatever- from the Seam"

"I know that too" Orion says, his tone more sullen

"So what's the problem?"

"I care. I couldn't provide for her the way I'd want to, why drag someone you love down with you when she could be happier with someone else?"

"I'm not saying it wouldn't be hard, she'd have to adjust but if you love someone ..." Madge sighs "We're not all like that you know, Townies, some of them are prejudice sure but most wouldn't care, given the chance"

"I know that now and for the record, if anyone in 12's watching this and you're from the Seam, go talk to a Townie" Madge smiles at Orion

"And the same goes for you Townies, go-" the power is cut before Madge finishes her sentence but it was clear where it was going and I can't help but think that power outage was created purposefully, I'm proven right when the tv flickers to life again less than a minute later.

"You could tell her now" Madge offers

"What good would that do? Bring her a whole lot of unnecessary attention, she'd feel awful when I die" Madge flinches, that's the first time either of them has spoken as if they aren't coming home. Madge breaths deeply then bites her lip to stop the wetness leaking from her eyes

"She will anyway, she always does" Madge tells him, it's beyond infuriating not knowing who they're talking about

"Why make it worse? You know she'd feel guilty"

"I think it's a bit late for that, I'm pretty certain every girl in Panem is hoping you're talking about them, whether they live in 12 or not, they're going to be heartbroken"

"That's a lot of hope" Orion mutters

"That's just the effect you have"

"No, that's what you've given me Madge. Before you I was ready to go into the mines and probably never have a family but now, you've given me hope for something more" they're quiet again for a short while, their conversation walking a very thin line "I know" Orion finally breaks their silence

"What?" Madge asks almost sleepily

"I know who it is you like too"

"I don't like anyone"

"Like hell you don't!"

"I don't!" Madge argues

"You're not foolin' me Madge" Orion grins and shakes his head

"I don't know what you're talking about"

"That may be true. You're so careful about hiding it you may even be fooling yourself" Orion laughs, Madge swallows "don't worry he doesn't know, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't know if you confessed by painting it on his front door. My brother and I noticed though"

"Noticed what?" Madge's voice breaks and she has to clear her throat "what are you even talking about?"

"How you make a point of not looking at him, to the point where you're looking the opposite direction. Unless of course you're watching him in a reflection, a window, a mirror, that's why you're always fixing your hair" Orion looks across at Madge but she remains seemingly bored "not enough? okay, how about whenever he shows a remote interest in a girl you'll show up to school the next day with you're hair in a ponytail and no make up on like there's no point in trying anymore"

"I hardly wear make up and my hair is always up" Madge chortles

"Because there's always girls flapping around him"

"True"

"Ha! You admit it!"

"No-"

"You just said!"

"Okay, okay, I admit it"

"Yeah?!"

"Yeah. You're sure he doesn't know?"

"Na, he's oblivious"

"I was thinking maybe I should have said something but what good would that have done?"

"May have changed the way he saw you, given you some closure"

"And what would I have gained from that?"

"I don't know, not having the person you could be in love with be an ass to you" Orion offers sarcastically

"No I liked that, it was the perfect reminder"

"So I'm a miner in love with a townie and you're a townie in love with a miner" Madge is in love with someone from the Seam? There's no way, her father would never allow it, it's an unspoken rule that is so rarely broken it's practically unheard of. She couldn't be

"Seems that way doesn't it" but apparently she is.

"You know who they're talking about?" Gale and Thom are close, maybe he does

"I reckon it's the shoe makers daughter, Cartright?"

"Delly?"

"She's the biggest pain in the ass I can think of" Gale mutters

"What about Madge? You think that's true?"

"What Undersee? Liking a miner? Nah, there's no way"

"She just said"

"Probably for the sponsors, get some interest from them"

"Why not just tell Ceaser when he asked in the interviews? More people would've seen it, they don't even know we saw that"

"Maybe they didn't want anyone to see it" Gale shrugs "I don't know".

Gale and I fall asleep in front of the tv. My sleep is fitful and Gale is even more restless, I wonder if it's for the same reason as my unrest. When there's nothing left to distract me the guilt I feel is soul crushing, that should be me in that arena not Madge, she's there for Prim, she's saved her in a way I never could. Had I volunteered I wouldn't have come back and if I had nothing would've ever been the same. Madge is saving us all and for that I will never stop owing her. Then there's Darius and his declaration of rebellion, how my father had chosen to become a rebel and how he would probably still be alive if he hadn't.


	13. Chapter 13

The morning drags painfully. I've never been in a hurry to watch the games, not a single second of them but I find myself staring at the televisions in school all day willing them to turn on so I can be sure Madge is okay. When lunch finally comes Madge's absence is more noticeable than I ever could've imagined. After a few minutes of staring mindlessly at the seat opposite me the tv above me finally comes to life.

The boy from 8 killed the girl from 6 last night and because it's a death they show it even though he's apologising and balling his eyes out the whole time. With her death we've reached the final 8 and that means reporters. They don't show anything of Madge and Orion and I tell myself that's a good thing. I try not to think about it for the rest of the day but no matter how hard I try the thoughts come unbidden to my mind.

I pick Prim, Rory and Vick up at the end of the day. According to Rory, Gale mentioned he wouldn't be walking home with us because there was somewhere he had to be. I have a feeling I know exactly where that is. I decide to take the kids home then find Gale but I'm sidetracked when Prim points out someone sitting hunched over in the meadow between town and the seam, it's smaller than the one the fence runs through behind my house and nowhere near as beautiful. In fact it's not even a meadow anymore, the grass is brown and dry and not much else grows there, as a result it's usually vacant.

It doesn't take me long to realise the man sobbing in the field is Thom, he started working in the mines last year and I assumed that's where he'd be but obviously not. I hesitate in going to him, he clearly wanted to be alone and I can't deny I've been wishing for Madge to come back, by default wishing his younger brother didn't. I really have no right to be here, my sibling is safe but I can't just walk away

"Thom?" he turns to look over his shoulder and my breath catches. There's something especially heart breaking about seeing a grown man cry. Fresh tears wet his cheeks and his eyes and nose are leaking. He wipes both with the sleeve of his shirt and turns away from me again

"Hello Katniss" I sit beside him and take in the scene he so avidly watches. The foreground is grey and decrepit, it holds no beauty, no allure, no nothing. But beyond it, beyond the fence which is visible from here, there is lush green, nature, freedom and a setting sun. I have had a taste of it and will always want more. I can't imagine how trapped, confined, the longing or the wonder Thom feels when he sees it, or perhaps he doesn't feel anything at all, perhaps he feels empty "it's like something inside you dies isn't it? When their names are called" that's exactly how it felt, when they called Prim's name I was ready to die "2 months, 2 months and I could have gone for him" I struggle for something to say but Thom never gives me the chance "you're friends with the girl aren't you? Madge?"

"I-"

"She seems nice" I frown. Thom's as prejudice as Gale when it comes to townies, he's been in countless fights because of it "Orion seems to like her a lot, she can't be all that bad"

"She's not" I say simply

"Trained for the games I reckon" Thom mutters wiping his eyes

"She's just doing what she can" I defend Madge, the argument bubbling out of me before I can stop it

"She's saved his ass a few times, can't fault her for that" Thom agrees "he's been telling her bed time stories too" he murmurs, his lips attempting a smile

"Goldilocks? I heard it was from a fairytale?"

"My mother always told it before we went to sleep, Orion liked how she described the woods in the story. Think he's trying to make the arena less scary you know"

"That's smart, if it's helping him cope" I try to offer comfort but the arena is scary, he should be on his guard not making it into a fairytale

"I think he's alright" Thom says as if trying to convince himself "she's got his back"

"They're friends and Madge is a good friend"

"Yeah" Thom snorts "took me two years to riddle Cartright's name out of him, she got him talking about it on live television in less than a week"

"Different circumstances" I offer "Gale guessed it was Delly"

"She's the biggest pain in the ass I know"

"That's what Gale said" Thom almost laughs but his throat is still thick from crying "you know who Madge was talking about?" I wonder, Thom nods "and?"

"It ain't my place to say" he says shaking his head

"It's not you is it" I joke, earning another attempt at a smile

"Nah I'll try my best, you know, after what Orion said about talking to one of them but you know how I feel about townies"

"Could be worse" I say nudging his arm "could be Gale" when Thom doesn't even offer and attempt of a smile at my most amusing comment I realise that, that's exactly who Madge was talking about. It all makes sense, a future miner, from the seam. 'I always had a thing for hunters', that's why everyone looked at us. 'Not having the man you might love be an ass', that's an understatement for how Gale behaved towards Madge "it is isn't it? It's Gale?" Thom shrugs

"It was just a theory me and Orion used to joke about. He believed it more than I did, turns out he was right"

"And Gale doesn't know?"

"Dunno, he's been completely blind to it so far. Hasn't mentioned it but he hasn't said her name since the first night he came to my house with liquor. Scared of how I'll react I think"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be making you talk about these things" I stammer quickly, realising my monumental mistake and complete lack of sensitivity

"No!" Thom holds up his hand to stop me "it's nice, having someone talk to me properly, everyone's tip toeing 'round me like I'll shatter, I can't stand it!"

"Well any time you want to talk to someone completely oblivious and insensitive you know where I am"

"Thanks, I might just take you up on that" I squeeze his shoulder as I stand "hey Katniss?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't say anything to Gale"

"I won't, not my place right?"

"Right" Thom nods and I lift my hand in a poor imitation of a wave. As I walk to the abandoned building Darius referred to as HQ I wonder how I could be so oblivious to everything around me. Madge always said that, often when I'd catch Peeta Mellark staring at me -boy am I glad I finally got that off my chest - but I never could have imagined half the things that have been revealed to me since the reaping.


	14. Chapter 14

Darius is there when I arrive but he looks ready to leave

"Katniss" he greets me

"Hi" I return halfheartedly

"I have to go, I'm on duty until tomorrow morning"

"Is Gale here?" Darius nods and looks towards the door in the corner

"Never leaves. He's here every minute he has free"

"Is he safe? Is it safe for him to be involved in this?"

"No one's safe Katniss, that's what we're doing here. We want to change that" he says sadly and starts towards the door

"Darius?" I stop him

"Yeah?"

"The parachute they got, do you know what it was about? What the note said?"

"Sure do. It was from me"

"What? How?"

"I got in touch with Haymitch, she needed something to get her back on track after the mutt so I sent her the dice"

"You can do that?" Darius nods "what's so special about the dice?"

"We played backgammon with them" Darius' eyes lose focus and he smiles to himself "took me two years to work out she was letting me win" his tone is sad but his smile fond "I'll miss her"

"You said she was coming home"

"Oh yeah, she' ready for those games. From the moment she stepped into that arena she was a victor, there's not a chance she won't be coming home. I just hate to think she wont be Madge anymore" I nod in understanding, no one survives the games, the victors are never themselves again, a piece of their soul is torn from them in the arena. At that Gale emerges from the other room looking fractured, like he just learnt the best but also, worst news in the world

"Either way" he croaks "we'll do all we can to get her home"

"I wouldn't worry about her too much Hawthorne" Darius grins, his voice still full of worry "she's unbelievably strong willed and passionate. As far as rebels go ... Madge is" Darius trails off with a goofy smile on his face "well let's just say she's an extraordinary human being"

"Yeah" Gale mutters looking at the file in his hands then over his shoulder at the boxes in the larger room "Yeah she is" Darius' lips curve up slightly in a sad smile then he continues out the main door

"Is that safe?" I wonder "all this stuff in here and no locks?" Gale shrugs

"No one's really that interested"

"Surely a lock wouldn't hurt"

"Hide in plain site I guess" I don't agree but I'm not about to argue

"How long have you been here?"

"Skipped out after lunch" Gale mutters, turning back into the room he'd been in when I arrive

"You can't do that Gale" I sigh "skipping out on school is only going to draw attention"

"I only have a few weeks left"

"This is serious Gale"

"I have to do something!" he yells "I- I have to do something" I frown at his tone and he drags a hand through his already erratic hair "I don't know. Ever since you told me that stuff about Madge and everything since, I just- I feel like I should be doing something for her. Even if it's just carrying on whatever it was she was doing here"

"She wouldn't expect you to repay her Gale"

"This isn't about repaying her" Gale says, shaking his head "not anymore. I want her to come home" at this my frown deepens. Gale is Thom's best friend, he's friends with Orion, he's never liked Madge "I know Thom is like a brother but if not Orion, Madge has to come home" I can't argue so I drop my bag and take a file off the pile

"What exactly are we doing?"

"I wanted to know as much as possible so I started with the messages between rebels in each district" he says handing me a stack of papers. I read over the first only to find it's complete gibberish

"I don't understand"

"It's coded, it's not like they can just send these messages from district to district. Here's the cipher and I'll have to tell you the code names when you come across them" Gale laughs when he sees the look on my face and takes the first page from me "here I'll show you. The district it was sent to and from is hidden in the date. See on the outside it says the 12th month so obviously it was coming here and inside it says the 7th so it was sent from District 7. Then the first word is the name of the message it's responding to but because this is the first one it doesn't have that. It's addressed to Cheese 12 which is Mayor Undersee and Papa Goose which is Haymitch"

"Haymitch? Abbernathy?"

"Turns out he's not drunk as often as he'd have us believe. He's a pretty big part of this whole thing" I think over it for a minute before deciding nothing surprises me anymore

"You know what I don't get" Gale looks up from the message he's reading and raises an eyebrow "Madge was around 3 when they started to train her right?"

"Yeah, what's your point?"

"Isn't that worse than taking even a 12 year old?"

"Of course it is ... but they never planned to let her stay in the games, the rescue mission was well planned but they needed the next two years"

"I don't understand why she did it, volunteered for Prim, I'll owe her for the rest of my life and I'll never be able to thank her enough but that doesn't mean I understand it"

"I do" Gale murmurs going back to scanning the papers on his lap "her whole life has been about stopping this, stopping the deaths of innocent children. To her, volunteering for Prim, saving her ... it was second nature".

We stay there until it's dark out, I don't mention Thom or anything we discussed. I learn that in the last eight years there have been 52 attempts to at explosions, floods and collapses in the mines. Of those 52, Madge with only minor help has prevented 48, saving literally hundreds of lives, without accounting for the families that would have suffered if said miners had been killed. I learn that Madge with the help of her father, has prevented multiple attempts at burning the hob. I learn Mayor Undersee hides every infraction committed including Gale and I's poaching. I learn Darius originates from 2 and was placed in 12 as a spy because it's not as strict here and information is easily accessed from our drunk and careless peacekeepers. I learn that Haymitch Abbernathy is quite influential in this whole thing and every time he's in the capitol, new information is returned and plans cemented. I learn that a number of past victors are involved with the rebellion. Finnick O'dair, or sweetness as he code named himself, Johanna Mason, or hotness. Blight, another district 7 victor goes by hook, Beetee and Wiress, victors from 3, go by proton and electron. Chaff and Seeder from 11 are knows as chips and dip, someone from 8, referred to as Paylor is code named Doc. There are even capitol rebels but I don't get that far into the list.

"It's late" I point out, Gale grunts "really late"

"Hang on" he holds up a finger without looking away from his page

"Gale!"

"Alright!"

"It'll look suspicious if we leave it any later!"

"Fine!" Gale seethes and begins packing away papers. I blow out the candles we've been reading by and we creep away from the building. We stick to the back of the merchant shops until we're far enough away from the building that if we got caught, no one would realise where we come from. We get halfway down the alley between the shoe shop and the bakery before the silhouette of a man appears at the other end and we freeze. Rye Mellark continues towards us unaware but inevitably glances up to find us pressed against the bakery wall

"Oh!" he jumps back startled "wait, is that?" he squints through the shadows and steps closer "Hawthorne" he snickers "thought you took your girls to the slagheap"

"Ew" I gasp at the insinuation "that is so not what we were doing"

"Katniss!" Rye barks with laughter "ouch Hawthorne bet that hurt"

"Goodbye Mellark" Gale mutters

"Night Hawthorne" Rye smirks "Everdeen" he nods decidedly more polite. I nod back and follow after Gale

"I really hate that guy" Gale mutters hen I catch him

"I know, it's because you're so similar" Gale stops and glares at me, I shrug "what? You are" I push "you'd probably be friends if you just listened to what Madge and Orion said"

"What? Talk to a townie? Yeah right"

"Why not?!" I demand. There's nothing wrong with most of them, especially the Mellark's

"They're snobs" I stop and fold my arms over my chest

"Like Madge was a snob?" I snap

"She's not"

"Not now you've given her a chance" I point out "and I hate to say it but you should give someone else a chance. I don't want it to be true but it might be too late for Madge" I hate the truth in my words but there's never certainty in the games

"It's not too late!" I'm taken aback by Gale's anger, I was pushing but I'm just frustrated "it's not too late" he says softly "she has to come home"

"Huh" Gale and I startle at the voice behind us and turn to find Thom on Gale's porch steps "guess you're not as oblivious as I thought"

"Thom -" Gale begins to explain

"No I get it. A boy you've known all your life is nothing in comparison to a pretty townie you couldn't stand before she started killing people"

"Thom" Gale and I both call but he's already gone.


	15. Chapter 15

The final 8 don't last long. Not five minutes after the crews from the capitol step off the trains, the girl from 5 is butchered by the careers, sending the reporters there back where they came from. Less than an hour later the boy from 3 kills for the first time by smashing the boy from 8 over the head with a rock. He takes off, gripping the weapon in his bloody hand and runs right in to Madge and Orion's camp at the top of the waterfall. They try to talk him down, tell him to just turn around and go back the way he came but he's desperate and dehydrated so instead, he attacks by racing towards them wielding the jagged rock above his head.

Orion takes the first hit, the force disorientates him and the sharp edge of the rock gashes his temple and cheek. As Madge is reaching the boy he swings his arm back and catches her jaw, sending her careening back and she lands in the remnants of their campfire. When the boy sees Orion is still down he falls to his knees and begins to pummel him with the rock but only gets in a few body shots before Madge is back on her feet. It's just like every other time I've seen Madge kill. My heart beat slows, my breathing shallows and time seems to stop. We get a glimpse of the boys face as he realises his fate, feeling Madge's hands wrap around his head and jaw then his eye lids flutter shut before she jerks her arms and he falls face down beside Orion, his head at an odd angle. His cannon sounds but Madge is already trying to wake Orion, when he doesn't immediately rouse she checks his pulse but doesn't seem to get anything so she lays her head on his chest, listening for a heartbeat and watching for the rise and fall of his breathing. When she begins to shake I realise the cannon was not the boy from 3's.

I watch Madge do the same checks on the boy from 3, he is definitely dead, it was a shared cannon.

As Orion's death starts to sink in and a blanket of silence falls over 12, Madge leans over him again. She checks his pulse, then holds her ear near his mouth. At first I'm not sure, but then I see it, a strand of Madge's hair moves a fraction

"Orion!" Madge screams "Orion" she shakes his shoulders but it has no effect "Orion!" she yells once more, this time slapping him across the face and his eyes snap open

"Owwww" he groans, Madge falls on top of him and wraps her arms around his shoulders, letting out a choked sigh of relief like everyone around me. I'm still holding my breath

"You idiot!" she leans back and slaps his cheek once more

"Quit it" Orion complains and lifts a hand to rub his red cheek

"You scared me!"

"You slapped me" Orion shoots back

"Because you scared me!" to this, Orion smiles and Madge hugs him again.

The remaining careers, the boys from 1 and 2 and the girl from 4, are hunting down Madge and Orion. They aren't anywhere close but that doesn't mean I don't get pissed when a camera crew starts pushing people around to get to Orion's family who happen to be beside us. The mayor kept them occupied as long as he could, gushing about how proud he is of Madge being in the final 5. I'd watched in awe as he spun them a tale of a young girl excited to have a chance at being a victor and her proud, completely healthy, non - bedridden parents. But now they're heading in this direction and I want to rip every purple hair off the yappy reporters head, her brows and eyelashes included

"Here they are!" she trills, having spotted the Meadows' at the front of the crowd. I purposefully move to block her path and she looks me up and down with pursed lips and a look of indignation "well" she sneers "we were warned" she looks away from me and over her shoulder at the two men behind her. One, a young man with yellow hair like Ceaser Flickerman's - this year, but it's styled into spikes and he has metal rings in his nose lip and each eyebrow. The other is older with slicked back black hair and his eyes have been altered, one pink, one blue, he carries a computerised tablet and wears a headset while the first has a camera held away from him on a mechanic arm. The woman pushes by me muttering something about savages and reaches out with clawed fingers for Orion's parents.

I watch the woman flap around, posing them and scrunching up her nose as she tries to tame Thom's hair

"It'll have to do" she says eventually. Her entire demeanour changes when a tiny red light on the camera begins to flash and suddenly she's grinning at the lens

"Live in 5. 4. 3" the man with mismatched eyes trails off then nods to the prissy woman and she smiles creepily

"Hello! And welcome back to District 12, where I 'm with the Meadows family. Tell me what was it like when you thought Orion had died?" Thom's eyes bulge out of his head and saliva pools in my mouth like I'm going to be sick at her bluntness

"What?" Mrs. Meadows whispers

"How did you feel?" the idiot pushes "just now when your son was thought to be dead, what was it like?" the Meadows' look at her dumbly, can this woman not hear herself?

"It was like" Thom snarls "watching my little brother die"

"Yes, yes" she continues obliviously "but surely with it being so close, were you not devastated to have come so close only to have his chance at victor snatched away. Not to mention his winnings" at that I really do think I'm going to vomit "surely you're happy to know he's still in the running?"

"Am I happy my son isn't dead?" Mr. Meadows grits "is that what you're asking me?" the woman nods enthusiastically and is met with stony silence

"Well what about his district partner, Madge?"

"She's a good ally for him to have" Mr. Meadows answers simply

"Were they acquaintances before the games?"

"Not that I know of"

"No" Thom cuts his dad off bitterly "they weren't acquaintances, they weren't anything. You know they weren't friends so why are you asking us these stupid questions!"

"You're right" the woman nods "his relationship with Madge Undersee isn't important. Who is it that Orion is in love with?" I'm ready for Thom to snap, to push over the camera man and storm off as he should but instead he takes a step closer to the woman and leans in threateningly close

"You make me sick" he hisses and then shoves her and the camera out of his way. Mr. Meadows follows, guiding his wife past them without another word

"Well I never" the woman gasps with her hands on her hips "how rude, plainly disgusting behaviour"

"Hypocrite" I scoff and she purses her lips at me

"And who are you?"

"No one"

"Obviously" she smiles sweetly "I almost feel sorry for you. It's not your fault you're brought up this way" Prim tugs on my hand and I unclench my teeth, more than ready to walk away "they really do need the games to remind them of their place and all the Capitol do for them" I stop in my tracks and whirl around to face the ridiculous woman again

"You'll learn your place when your precious Capitol burns around you" I spit

"Excuse me?" she gasps, bringing a hand to her chest

"And I hope you burn with it".


	16. Chapter 16

We're gathered in the square for the mandatory viewing of the grand finale. I'm not sure what it is the game makers have planned but I know the games will end before the day is up. They start with the careers, there's three of them left and you can see how antsy they're getting, they'll be forced to turn on each other soon and none of them want to turn their backs on the the other two.

The girl from 4 breaks off from them after a few minutes of tense stares and careful steps, the two remaining boys decide not to chase her down and continue through the brush. They show the girl from 4 slow to a walk and eventually stop to catch her breath, then Madge and Orion making their way down a steady incline. When they finally show us the tributes positions on a map of the arena we see that the points marked 1 and 2 are rapidly moving towards the two marked 12.

Madge has already taken on all of the careers, four of them have died at her hands but that doesn't mean my chest doesn't ache when they finally run into each other. Orion sees them and yanks Madge's arm for them to run but it's too late, they've already been spotted.

"Orion go" Madge takes hold of his shoulders when he shakes his head "go!" she growls, she hands him one of the die Darius had sent and pushes him back in the direction of their camp

"I'll get the guy" the boy from 1 calls and forks off to follow Orion. When Madge sees his change of direction she takes the dagger from her belt, she holds the tip of the blade between her thumb and forefinger and brings her arm behind her head, turning just a fraction then letting it fly. It catches his left knee and he cries out as he falls to the forest floor in a heap.

Madge barely has time to turn before the boy from 2 is upon her, he swings at her with machetes of some kind but there's no skill to it and Madge is able to escape every slash. When Madge knocks one of the giant knives from his hand the screen splits to show Orion and the girl from 4 colliding into one another. Madge had given him the sword and as he climbs to his feet he reveals the hilt of the weapon protruding from her torso

"Oh shit" he whispers while Madge uses the stolen machete to deflect swings from the boy from 2 "oh shit" he hisses again, falling down beside the girl who's sputtering blood "I'm sorry I- I didn't see you I-" Orion takes the girls hand and sits cross legged beside her. He tells her the story of Goldilocks and the three bears as if putting her to sleep until her cannon fires. When he starts to cry they take him off the screen and show Madge again.

The boy from one has used a tree to get to his feet and now uses them to support himself as he staggers towards the fight between Madge and 2. The boy from 2 has a gash across his stomach and another on his chest, Madge's jacket has been cut and there's a small nick on her arm but she's otherwise unharmed. After seeing her in other confrontations I know she could have killed him by now but for some reason she holds back, giving him severe injuries but so far nothing fatal.

The boy from 1 finally reaches them and pulls the dagger from his knee, only instead of going for Madge he drives it into 2's back. The boy howls in pain but quickly turns and shoves the entire blade of his machete through Suede's chest. As he falls to the ground and blood dribbles from his lips he looks like a boy, a harmless, innocent young boy. Madge runs, a cannon booms and the name Suede no longer seems so stupid.

Realising his opponent has vanished, the boy from 2 wonders far enough away for them to pick up 1's body then falls against a nearby tree. He falls to the floor and removes his hand from the stomach wound he'd been clutching, it's a lot worse than I'd previously thought. Fatal if it isn't tended to soon.

Madge finds Orion before making it back to camp, he's still clutching the girl from 4's hand and when he sees Madge he runs to her

"You're alive"

"Are you okay?" she asks

"It was an accident" he chokes "I didn't see her"

"It's okay" Madge soothes

"I killed her Madge"

"Orion listen to me. You're not a bad person, if people were more like you Panem would be a better place"

"No" Orion shakes his head "the world needs people like you" Madge kisses him chastely and wipes away any trace of tears

"We have to move" she tells him and together they walk back to their camp.

When they reach the summit of the waterfall Madge relights their fire and takes out the last of their rabbit meat

"Is that a good idea?" Orion asks gesturing to the fire

"There's only three of us left, he's not in good enough shape to climb that hill" Orion nods and Madge continues to roast the chunks of meat. We're shown a wide shot of them and my heart leaps to my throat when I see Orion edging close to the waterfalls edge "Orion! What are you doing?!" Madge screams when she sees how close he is to the drop. When she takes a step towards him he takes a bigger step back and gets that cocky grin on his face "Orion?"

"I told you Madge, this world needs people like you"

"Orion" she whispers her eyes wide and distraught

"Love ya Goldilocks" with that he skips the last few steps and launches himself backwards off the waterfall.

Madge rushes to the edge and the angle changes, so we see at the same time she does, the water turning crimson as his blood bubbles to the surface. Madge stands frozen for a few seconds before her legs give out and she falls to the ground and around me people scream out and men and women begin to sob.

They stay with her long enough that we see her start to cry, she crawls away from the edge on all fours, she crawls all the way to the tree they'd eaten under earlier that day and wraps her arms around her knees. She rocks back and forth and lets tears roll down her cheeks. It's cruel how they just film her, I'm not intimate or emotional but everything in me wants to reach out and hold her. They just keep the cameras on her for hours which is something they never do, when someone cries they move off them straight away but not Madge. After almost three hours of silence in both the arena and the district she speaks

"Haymitch" she whispers as she rocks "this isn't how it was supposed to be" she stares at the mud before her and continues to rock "Orion wasn't supposed to do that, it wasn't part of the plan" I can't help but wonder what the plan was, were they going to fight to the death? Kill one another? Was Madge going to sacrifice herself? "He wasn't supposed to destroy me" Madge falls to the side, laying her head down in the soggy earth beneath her "he wasn't supposed to ruin me like this" she squeezes her eyes shut and sobs "I don't know if I can do this Haymitch" her fingers dig into her head so hard her knuckles turn white "I don't know if I can finish what we started" I'm worried she's going to crush her own skull when a parachute floats down towards her, she doesn't open her eyes or stop squeezing her head until it hits the mud a few inches from her face. She doesn't open it for a while, just stares at it unblinking.

I begin to think she's died of grief, of a broken heart, similar to the way my mother almost did. Can that happen? Can someone be in that much emotional pain? After what feels like an eternity she loosens the grip she has on her head, there's blood under her fingernails. She reaches out to the container and opens it with one hand. The message inside reads 'You already did it. Sleep now and when you wake I'll be there. - H' with it is a vial of clear liquid which is infuriatingly elusive

"It could be anything" my mother answers my unspoken question. Madge doesn't hesitate to uncap the substance and knock it back in one, either knowing or not caring what it is. She lays her head back down and her eyes drift closed, before succumbing to sleep completely her lips part and in the slightest murmur she breathes

"But Orion won't be".

They move away from Madge, she gets smaller as the camera distances itself like she was being watched from above. They show her laying in the dirt, soaked through, frail and threatening to fall apart but uninjured. Then they show us the boy from district 2, he's laying on the ground too but otherwise couldn't look more different. He's bone dry with chapped lips and cracked skin, he's covered in blood, most but not all of it, his own. He's dying and soon but of the two of them, Madge is the one that's broken.

He lasts less than an hour and Madge is swept up by a hovercraft still unconscious, it's both the most dramatic and anti climatic ending to the games I've ever seen.


	17. Chapter 17

Cheers erupt over the district. Madge is our first victor in 25 years and Orion's death is overshadowed by the prospect of the food parcels the district will receive every month. I can't bring myself to celebrate, of course this is what I wanted but even if it had been Orion I couldn't bring myself to celebrate the deaths of 23 children and Madge as I knew her.

Amongst the celebration I spot someone who remains frozen staring at the screen, Thom. I watch him while he watches the capitol for a minute before he drops his gaze and leaves like his family must have

"She did it Katniss" Prim squeals joyfully "she did it" I offer Prim the best smile I can then unwrap her arms from me

"Walk home with everyone, I won't be long" she follows my gaze to Thom's retreating form and nods solemnly

"Okay"

"Love you Little Duck" I tell her placing a light kiss on her forehead

"Love you too".

I jog from the square and catch Thom as he reaches the path to the meadow where we spoke before

"Thom" he doesn't turn so I reach for his shoulder "Thom"

"Not now okay"

"Thom listen to me"

"What?" he growls

"I'm sorry" he scoffs and turns on his heel "No Thom, what you heard, you don't understand-"

"I get it Katniss" Thom cuts me off "she's your friend but Gale" Thom shakes his head "he's like a brother"

"I know"

"And if he was sorry he'd be the one here apologising, not you"

"Thom you don't understand" how can I make him understand without telling him about the rebellion

"Katniss" he sighs "my brother just died, not even that, he chose to die ... for her. So forgive me if I'm not her number one fan"

"Thom listen to me!" his jaw twitches but he doesn't say anything or walk away so I continue "there's more to this than I can explain"

"My brother's still dead Katniss"

"But he did it for a reason. You think Gale would say what he did without reason?"

"There is no reason! Nothing could make me betray him like that"

"Thom-"

"No Katniss! I'm angry! Just let me be angry"

"Okay" I concede, bowing my head "just find me when you're ready to talk".

It's still light when I get back to the square and both my family and the Hawthorne's are gone so I start home through town. I'm passing the butchers when someone whistles and I find Darius poking his head out of the alley between Rooba's and the neighbouring building

"Darius?"

"Shhh come here" I check for anyone close by and duck in to the alley, Darius grabs my hand and nearly pulls my shoulder out of its socket in his haste to reach the old shop behind. I'm barely through the door before he cocoons me in a bear hug "she did it!" he squeals the same way Prim did and squeezes me so hard I can't breathe

"Did you know he was going to do that? Sacrifice himself?" I ask once he's let me go

"Haymitch mentioned something"

"What?! When?!"

"I had a message from him they day of their interviews"

"What did it say?"

"Uh I have it here somewhere" Darius digs through a pile of scraps and then hands me a piece from the top of the pile "here" I scan over the note so eagerly I have to start again twice for the words to even sink in

'Boy's in, girl doesn't know but he's gonna make sure she gets home'

"You knew and you didn't warn us?!" I demand, glaring at Darius

"I never got around to it and it's not like I knew exactly what he was planning"

"I'm sorry Darius I have to go" I tell him handing back the scrap of paper

"Katniss you knew he had to die"

"Yeah, yeah I know ... just a lot to take in"

"You coming back with Gale?"

"What?"

"Later" Darius clarifies "are you coming back?"

"I don't know, maybe, we'll see" he nods

"Okay, see ya Katniss"

"Bye" as I leave the abandoned shop, that's little more than a shack, I feel like I've been buried alive and each new bit of information is another heap of dirt on my head. Do I really want to be a part of this? Do I want to endanger my family, Prim like that? Is it worth it? What if I draw too much attention to myself? What if I draw attention to the whole rebellion and everyone involved is killed? So much is going on in my head I feel I can't see straight. Two things make my decision. My dads involvement is all the endorsement I need and just over a week ago they called Prim's name. That's all it takes.

I check the area again before I dart out of the alley, that's why it scares me so much when someone calls my name from close by

"Sorry, did I startle you?" I catch my breath and meet the gaze of Peeta Mellark

"You didn't scare me" I lie

"Oh good, good" he nods and looks me up and down

"Can I help you?" I ask, raising an eyebrow then wince at how rude I sound

"Oh" he says as if remembering something "I saw you - I saw - well - well I saw someone grab you from the bakery and then they pulled you down the alley and I just - I thought - well I - I - I wanted to make sure you were alright so" I don't know much about Peeta Mellark but I know he never, not ever, stammers

"I'm fine" I snap quickly, terrified that he saw me with Darius

"Okay, good ... good"

"Thank you" I say in an attempt to make up for my earlier bluntness "for checking on me"

"Of course! When I couldn't find you I panicked and- I'm just glad you're okay"

"I'm fine, thank you"

"Did um- did he hurt you?"

"What? Oh no, no. It was just ... Gale"

"Oh, oh I see. I'll just be going then, if you're alright" I realise too late what I just implied and want to punch myself

"No, no I didn't mean- what your brother saw, it wasn't what he said"

"My brother? What did he say?"Peeta's eyes widen and his tone is worried and desperate

"He said me and Gale were- just no, that's not what I mean- uh Gale and I aren't together" I finally manage to spit out

"Oh, I just assumed-"

"Assumed what?" I snap

"That you were, you know ... together"

"Eww, no, no, no, no. It's- we're, not like that, like at all"

"Good" he sighs "I mean not good but you now not bad- uh- I should go"

"Okay" I say trying not to sound too relieved

"Unless, I could walk you home?"

"Why?" I snort then immediately frown at myself "sorry, yes okay"

"Really?" what the hell did I just agree to?

"Sure" I tip my head in the general direction of the seam and start walking

"So are you going to go in to the woods tomorrow?" I frown slightly, obviously Peeta knows I hunt, I bring the produce to his back door almost daily but talking about it like this out in in the open just doesn't seem all that wise

"Are you going to ask me about the weather next?" I laugh

"Just trying to get to know you, I thought it was better to start there than with the deep stuff"

"Like what?"

"I don't know, what's you're favourite colour?"

"My favourite colour?"

"Yes" he chuckles

""After everything that's happened today you're asking my favourite colour?" not that I want to talk about it but anyone else would've asked about Madge or the games

"I just figured you wouldn't want to talk about it" Peeta shrugs

"What's your favourite colour?" I ask, changing the subject

"Orange" he smiles

"Orange?"

"Not neon orange or anything but a softer, muted shade like sunset" I picture the sun setting over the mountains the few times I've been in the woods that late

"It's nice" I agree "you should come out in to the woods and see it"

"Really?"

"If you want" I shrug "I guess I could take you out" I don't know why I offered but I have now and I'm glad. As much as I think of the woods as my sanctuary it would be nice to share them with Peeta

"Katniss, that would be amazing thank you"

"It's the least I could do. It's not like you haven't done more for me" I tell him, dipping my head

"Katniss, the bread, it was nothing. I should have done more, I should have just gone to you-"

"Peeta" I cut him off "you saved our lives" I murmur "and I will never stop owing you for that"

"Well a trip to the woods is a good place to start" he grins and I let a small smile form on my lips

"Here we are" I say coming to a stop and gesturing to my house, a shed in comparison to the bakery "are you sure you can find your way back from here?" Peeta looks over his shoulder at the unlit path we just followed

"I'll be fine" he assures me "but if I'm not at the bakery tomorrow promise you'll look for me"

"Deal" I smile

"Goodnight Katniss"

"Goodnight" I return as he starts back to town, I chew on my lip for a second before calling after him "Peeta"

"Yeah" he turns so fast he almost loses his footing

"Green" he frowns slightly in confusion "my favourite colour's green, like the woods" he grins

"Night Katniss"

"Night".


	18. Chapter 18

**Madge**

At first it's like waking up from a deeply restful sleep and then it feels like I've got smoke in my eyes and they sting as the white lights blind me. The room is white, the walls, the ceiling, the jackets of the two women hovering over me, the masks they wear over the lower halves of their faces, their gloves, the blankets draped over me, me. I've never seen skin so pale as the pallor of my arms and that draws my attention to the needle in the crook of my arm. I panic and try to rip it from my body, no needles, no good ever comes from a needle

"Calm down Miss Undersee" the women demand, pinning my arms to my sides "calm down" the one closest to me repeats and suddenly the fact that I can't see her lips forming the words terrifies me and I tear myself from her grip

"Let me go" I whimper, trying to fight them off but I'm too weak "let me go" then the women in white are gone and I'm face to face with Haymitch "Haymitch, you're here"

"I told you I would be" he strokes my hair and I remember the note and the parachute, the vial, the games ... Orion

"No!" I sob "no, no. Haymitch no" my words are incomprehensible so I reach for him as my body is wracked with sobs and I weep uncontrollably

"It's alright" Haymitch soothes, there's a pinch in my arm "it's alright" his voice distorts and my eyes roll to the back of my head. The last thing I see is the needle back in its place and the sticky translucent substance I know to be morphling, pumping into my arm.

I breathe in fresh air, fresh air unadulterated by coal or smoke or anything else. I feel the forest floor beneath my fingertips and relish in the feeling of pine needles as they tickle my palms. I blink the blur from my eyes and marvel at the way sunlight leaks through the leaves of the trees above me, I enjoy the way the rays warm my skin and breathe deeply.

When the first drop of rain hits my skin I smile at it's warmth, as more water falls the smell of iron fills the air and the rain becomes scorching. I realise when it starts to dry on my face that it's not water at all, my eyes snap open and I'm blinded by gushing red blood. It falls so heavily that when I try to clamber to my feet it forces me back down. I scream and the bubbling liquid fills my mouth, I'm drowning in it, breathing it in and choking on its thickness

"Madge!" I wake with a jolt but can't move, Finnick O'dair is straddling my hips and pinning my shoulders down "stop! You're alright" I gasp for clean air but still have the taste of blood in my mouth "breath Madgey breathe" I do as he says and feel my racing heart slow "that's it, that's it, you're safe, you're safe"

"Finnick" I croak

"Madge"

"Finnick" I sob and he pulls me in to a sitting position to embrace me. I'm soothed almost instantly, Finnick has always had that effect on me. When we were first introduced his cocky bravado and forwardness threw me but that was six years ago and now Finnick is as much family as Haymitch

"You're okay, you did it Madgey" he keeps me tucked in to his chest so I don't even notice Haymitch until he clasps Finnick's shoulder and takes his place. I never thought the smell of liquor would be comforting to me but the pungent scent of whiskey that engulfs me when Haymitch hugs me has my heart beat back to it's regular rhythm

"How long have I been out?"

"You woke up a few hours after taking the sleeping draft yesterday, they've kept you sedated until now" Haymitch tells me as he brushes the hair slick with sweat from my face

"When do I have to do the interview?"

"Tonight" I release a breath through my nose as my stomach twists but nod "Madge?" Haymitch begins carefully "the president wants to see you" my gut churns but I nod again

"Then I should make myself presentable" I mutter, Haymitch and Finnick both smile sadly

"Can we get all this crap off her?" Haymitch asks some unseen person, indicating to the tubes and machines surrounding my bed. Two of the masked women dressed in white, I now know to be nurses enter through a door that I hadn't seen and do as he asked. I watch one of them take away the morphling drip and welcome the ache of my injuries as a sign the drug is no longer in my system. I've seen too many victors become dependant on it, I've seen my mother become nothing more than a wailing bundle of pain, reliant on the drug.

I'm escorted from the room and down several white corridors, with nothing else to think about thoughts of the games invade my mind and I have to stop. I squeeze my eyes shut and the smell of blood fills my nostrils, I can taste it on my tongue and my vision blurs. I can't see, I can't-

"Miss" someone prods my shoulder and I look up at my escort "you have to come this way" I nod and follow her into a large room with lavish gold furnishings. My escort points to an elaborately carved gold bench with red cushions and I take a seat, then I'm left alone in the room. I realise if I'm going to do this, continue with our plans for the rebellion, I can't think about the games, not here anyway. I decide until I'm back in the confines of District 12 I'll smile and wave, I've done it my whole life, I won't stop now.

"Madge" I stand as Cinna enters and he hugs me briefly before holding me at arms length "I'm so sorry" he says, his gaze boring in to mine. I shake my head and he rests his forehead on mine

"Please don't, not yet" he nods in understanding and that's it.

Any marks that marred my body when I left the arena have been removed, my hair has not grown out since they removed it all before the games but Flavius insists on waxing me from the neck down. My hair is dry and brittle but a wash and some moisturising treatment from Octavia has it back in it's usual state. They buff and exfoliate my skin, shape and polish my nails, trim and style my hair and give me some vitamin mineral combo that changes the pigment of my skin so my sickly pallor is replaced with a glowing bronze you'd find in District 4.

When I'm ready to rip my hair out at the roots Cinna rescues me from Flavius and Venia. Pretending to care that they've both adopted the capitols latest trend of different coloured eyes was taking its toll. When Cinna takes my dress for the interview from it's bag I offer him the best smile I can

"You'll look beautiful" he tells me, zipping the garment bag closed

"Another masterpiece Cinna" he strokes a strand of hair behind my ear and brushes his thumb across my cheek gently

"I have to dress you for the president, come on" he doesn't make me do anything really, I sit silently while he braids my hair loosely and puts colour in my lips and cheeks, he brushes mascara on my lashes and darkens my eyebrows before Portia brings my clothes. She kisses each of my cheeks but doesn't say a word while she slips a green satin dress over my head. It feels weightless and falls almost straight, down to my feet. Portia sits me down and slips simple gold pumps on my feet then a kiss on my cheek again "would you like me to walk you?" Cinna offers

"I'll be fine" and honestly if I can stay numb like this until I get home tomorrow I will be.

"Miss Undersee" the president smiles sickeningly when I enter his office

"President Snow" I nod back, conjuring a smile

"Congratulations on your victory"

"Thank you so much" I chime enthusiastically, taking the seat being offered to me by an avox

"Would you like some tea?" he asks, gesturing to a second avox with a tray

"I would love some, thank you" never decline hospitality, especially from the president. The avox places a china teacup and saucer in front of me, I instruct her on how I like my tea with a smile plastered on my face and take a sip even though there's a possibility I'll throw up "you wouldn't believe how much I missed tea" I say, trying to sound lighthearted. The president smiles falsely

"Miss Undersee, let me be clear I do not react kindly to dishonesty"

"That's understandable" I nod unfazed. I've been prepared for this, I've been heading here my entire life

"Then let's agree not to lie to one another shall we?"

"I can agree to that"

"In that case Miss Undersee, I would like to know if I can rely on your loyalty"

"My loyalty?"

"Yes Miss Undersee, can you be trusted or are you going to be a problem?"

"I'd like to think I can be trusted"

"Yes I'm sure you do but how do I ensure that Miss Undersee?" I don't have to ask what he means, I know how he's brought other victors to heel. I meet his gaze and place my tea back on the ornate desk before me

"You respect honesty?" I say flatly

"I do"

"Then I'll be frank with you President Snow ...if I may be so bold"

"By all means" Snow nods with an amused sneer

"I find the games abhorrent" I take mild satisfaction in the way Snow's eyes widen and the fact I was able to take him by surprise "but I do understand the need for them" I lie "I volunteered for Primrose Everdeen because I knew she'd never survive the games"

"But you knew you would" Snow cuts me off

"Yes" I tell him bluntly "I did, I never intended on going into the arena but knew the hobbies I enjoyed would put the odds in my favour. So I volunteered for a twelve year old girl who had no chance"

"You expect me to believe you enjoyed martial arts and hunting as hobbies Miss Undersee?"

"Yes" I deadpan "I also play piano to a professional standard and have been trained in classical ballet, it just so happens those past times didn't aid me as well as others in the games"

"And what of your relationship with your district partner?" I force myself to remain impassive and not think about it "I don't believe that was for the benefit of the viewers"

"It wasn't, that was sincere and real and I'll grieve for every death ... when I'm in my home in 12 and without an audience"

"I find you're honesty refreshing Miss Undersee"

"Then I hope you won't find my next words offending" Snow smiles and for the first time, it's genuine "I'll do as you ask, happily. I know not all past victors are as compliant as you might like and measures have been taken to ensure their loyalty. What I'm trying to say Mr. President is that, those measures won't be necessary in this case"

"Is that so?"

"Yes" Snow smiles and dabs his lips with a handkerchief

"You and I, Miss Undersee ... are going to get on swimmingly" I smile and raise my teacup in a toast

"The Hunger Games" I grin and bile rises in my throat, Snow touches his cup to mine

"The Hunger Games".


	19. Chapter 19

It isn't mandatory for the districts to watch the closing ceremony but Haymitch tells me every person in 12 is gathered in the square to watch my crowning. At the mention of home I stop rocking and stand under the jet of water coming from the shower head above me.

"I'll leave you alone to uh-" Haymitch watches his feet and shifts uncomfortably "shower"

"Haymitch" I call to stop him from leaving "if you're leaving could you ... ask Finnick to come in. My mind tends to wander if I don't have someone to distract me"

"I'll do you one better" he nods and less then twenty seconds after the door closes behind him it opens again and in steps Effie Trinkett

"Effie" I breath and jump out of the shower in the sopping wet green dress that's clinging to my body

"Hello Dear" she smiles, cupping my cheeks

"You'll have to excuse my attire" I mumble, giving her a watery smile

"Nonsense" she says, waving a hand "but mumbling, my darling, is a less than desirable habit"

"Sorry Effie" my lips curl up just slightly and she grins. Effie is astonishingly beautiful when she smiles, it's disguised under layers of horrendous make up and face paint now but her eyes still light up and her face still creases with smile lines

"Let's get you cleaned up" she says ushering me to the vanity desk in the middle of the room. She peels the wet satin off me and it makes a slapping sound as it pools on the tiled floor beneath my feet. Effie isn't like my prep team, she prides herself on her etiquette and nudity makes her as awkward as it made me before the games had their way with me so I smile gratefully when she helps me in to an over sized flannel robe and sits me in front of the mirror.

The little mascara Cinna had brushed on to my lashes is smeared down my face and the colour has been washed from my face. I've still got a relatively healthy glow because of the pills Venia gave me but my cheeks are hollow and my eyes are sunken with dark rings

"You don't have to do this Effie" I murmur when she lifts a dampened towel to my cheek

"Hush" she calms me and continues to dab at my face, the warmth of the towel soothes the irritation around my eyes and I let them drift closed, only to snap them open again when I see a river of blood. When all traces of product have been washed from my face Effie ushers me back to the shower and sits on a stool with her back to me the entire time, talking about how they didn't even have to ask for sponsors, that people were literally throwing money at she and Haymitch at one point. Nattering about such irrelevant things would normally drain me but I think Effie understands I need constant distraction.

When I meet with my prep team again I feel assured I can do this, I can hold it together until I get home. Fooling Snow was the easy part, now I have to continue to fool the rest of Panem.

Cinna dresses me just a few minutes before Ceaser Flickerman goes live across the nation, the dress he'd shown me earlier feels like milk on my sensitive skin and to spite it's full length skirt, it's surprisingly light. It's the darkest black, fitted and it clings to the curves I have left while disguising the bones that jut out. It's strapless with a heart shaped bodice that shows an amount of cleavage I find uncomfortable and completely backless, showing an expanse of skin that makes me feel naked. As if that weren't bad enough, the dress is split up to my hip on one side and my entire leg shows when I walk

"It won't fall off will it?" I ask Cinna, only half in jest

"It's made of a smart material that tailors itself to you, so no, it won't fall off. You look breathtaking"

"I don't do it justice"

"There's a reason my designs are selling so well Madge ... and it isn't the materials" I smile the best i can at his compliment and mentally weep at how difficult it's going to be to not go out the and fall apart.

Mercifully, my hair is down, the soft loose curls fall over my shoulders and hide my protruding collar bone. My make up is dramatic, charcoal on my eye lids and glossy ruby lips, when Venia comes at me with a canister I groan audibly

"Turn around" she orders and then there's cold mist on my back, she sprays it over my shoulders and chest, every surface of skin that is visible. Only when she kneels and coats the leg that shows with the mystery spray, do I see it's effect. It looks a lot like glitter but with the light tan of my skin it shimmers like the embers of a slow burning fire

"Was this your doing?" I quirk an eyebrow at Cinna and gesture to my smouldering arm. He simply smirks

"Thought it was important everyone knows you're still burning" with that, he turns to me and presses something to my chest. I look down at the spot and gasp in surprise as his fingers fall away. A source of strength, a physical embodiment of the rebellion and all that I represent. My Aunt Maysilee's mockingjay pin. Cinna squeezes my hand one last time before my attention is drawn to Ceaser Flickerman on stage

"Welcome, welcome, welcome, Ladies and Gentleman to this years closing ceremony, where I'll be speaking LIVE to this years victor. The stunning, the deadly, the sultry, the beautiful Madge UNDERSEE!" he's drowned out by screaming capitol citizens and I have to remind myself to breath "Lets bring her out shall we?!" Ceaser yells and he's met with more cries "Ladies and Gentleman the victor of the 73rd annual Hunger Games, Madge Undersee!" Ceaser sweeps his arm to the side, towards me and I step in to the view of the audience. I ignore the noise, I ignore the pain in my chest, I ignore the erratic beating of my heart, I even ignore the fact that my heels are two inches higher than I'm used to because I see myself on the screens around stage. I look strong, a sexy and powerful woman not a skinny, broken little girl. I'm brought back to the present by Ceaser Flickerman's slightly clammy hand on my arm "Hello Miss Undersee" Ceaser grins taking my hand and leading me to a plush, leather upholstered, backless armchair. Deep breath, crossed ankles, delicate lines

"Hello Ceaser" I smile widely, showing all the teeth I can, it physically hurts to smile when I want to fall to the floor and weep and for a second I regret turning down the drugs they offered

"And congratulations"

"Thank you Ceaser"

"May I say you're looking as breathtaking as ever"

"Stop" I gush "it's all down to the fabulous work of my prep team and Cinna of course"

"Oh don't be so modest, even artistry like Cinna's needs a beautiful muse"

"You're too kind Ceaser"

"Now, I'm not quite sure where to start" Ceaser says, leaning forward

"Why don't we go from the beginning" I suggest with amusement, at least that way I'll know what's coming

"Alright then ... you're trick with the boots, was ... astounding. I think I speak for everyone when I say that was spectacular" I refrain from reacting to the fact he just referred to me blowing people up in a positive way

"Well, as I told the President earlier" I never name dropped as the mayors daughter but I'm sure as anything going to do it now "I was missing the comforts of home and wanted to win as soon as possible. How long can you expect a girl to go without lemon tea and a hairbrush"

"Too true" Ceaser chuckles "Now, six tributes fell by your hands" I'm going to be sick "care to tell us where you learnt how to do that?"

"If I told you I'd have to kill you" I tease

"We've been here before" Ceaser laughs, as does the audience "I have to say Madge; I have never been so happy about a winner, I know I speak for countless others when I say; I'm glad you're our victor" tears spring to my eyes as I swallow bile but I use them to my advantage

"Ceaser I can't tell you how much that means to me" I clasp his hands and he lifts mine to his lips

"Lets talk about your district partner" this is it, this is where we see what I'm really made of. I haven't spoken his name since I woke up, I haven't even thought of him. I can't, it'll destroy me "we were sad to see him go" Ceaser says as if he was an extra in one of their stupid television shows and not an amazing young man with a future "especially the way he did" Ceaser frowns and I stop myself from wincing, they probably wanted more blood, a savage fight to the death where one of us ripped the others heart out

"As was I Ceaser" I say numbly

"You were friends?"

"We were" I draw in a deep breath in preparation for what I'm about to say in the hopes it'll keep the contents of my stomach, in my stomach "but only after coming to the capitol. Had it not been for the games our friendship never would have happened. Yet another thing for me to be grateful for"

"How touching" Ceaser reaches for my hand again "how very touching" he wipes under his eyes dramatically and I want to claw them from their sockets for making me talk about him "On a lighter note" Ceaser chirps, suddenly not so heartbroken "we're all dying to know. The night you spoke about loved ones back home, could we have a name?"

"Sorry?" I frown in confusion

"The whole country is just dying to know who it is you're in love with"

"I-I- what?" why on earth is he asking me this? Does it even matter? This is so typical of the capitol "I think I should speak to him myself before announcing it on television" I smile "but I promise to let you know how it goes"

"Oh you tease you" Ceaser jokes "I know someone here will be very disappointed to here this" Ceaser stage whispers and I frown again "Mr. O'dair where are you?" I look up to the victors balcony where Finnick waves and swallow the lump in my throat "what do you have to say about this?"

"I am indeed disappointed Ceaser" Finnick yells from the balcony "but whoever he is, he's a lucky man"

"A lucky man indeed" Ceaser agrees "it's been an honour Miss Undersee"

"The honours all mine" I stutter and give Ceaser a questioning look 'that's it?', he nods and offers a congratulatory smile, he kisses my hand

"Ladies and gentleman, your victor for the 73rd annual Hunger Games, Madge! Undersee!" I wave, I smile, I blow kisses, I catch roses. That's it, it's done.


	20. Chapter 20

I sit in the dining cart, I'd be more comfortable in my assigned room but the silence in there is suffocating. At least here I can hear the avoxes shuffling around

"Madge?" the voice startles me, I look up from the crystal decanter I've been loosely staring at and meet Effie's gaze "We'll be pulling into 12 soon, would you like some help getting ready?" I nod numbly and my knees click as I unfold them and stand.

Effie sits on the edge of the bathtub while I shower, again I can tell she's uncomfortable but I can't bring myself to be alone

"Effie?" I call quietly

"Yes Dear?"

"Could you talk to me?"

"About what Dear?"

"Anything ... please?" so she does, she talks about anything and everything that comes to her mind and doesn't stop while she helps me dry off, comb and dry my hair. She styles my hair simply, braiding a few strands at the front in to a plait and letting the rest hang loose. I dress comfortably in a cobalt blouse and a pair of high waisted dark slacks. Applying make up is much more difficult and time consuming, covering the dark circles around my eyes takes so long Effie gets frustrated and calls upon an avox to help me finish. There's still a hint of a shadow and my cheeks are hollow but eventually I am deemed presentable just minutes before pulling in to the station.

"You ready for this?" Haymitch asks, I stare intently at my reflection in the metal door before me and try to block out the noise the other side

"Does it matter?" Haymitch nods in understanding

"Right behind you Honey" he rasps

"And 5, 4, 3, big smiles" Effie trills, then the door's gone and there's faceless people and deafening screams. I smile and grind my back teeth together, I wave at the people of my home district without recognising any of the faces and I listen to them cheer for a girl they hate.

When I spot Darius leaning against the station wall at the back of the crowd, smirking, a small crack appears in the wall I've built up, when I spot Primrose Everdeen above the rest of the crowd the crack disappears. She's on Gale Hawthorne's shoulders, if I wasn't working so hard to hold myself together I'd probably feel something other than empty. Katniss is next to them and as I meet her gaze she gives me a small but genuine smile and it gives me the reassurance I need to look toward the front of the crowd. My father steps forward and I swallow painfully before I've even met his gaze, I descend the few steps from the train and use it as an excuse to look down and collect myself. With Haymitch's hand planted firmly under my shoulder I go to my father, who slips his arms around me and holds my head in the crook of his neck. I hide there for a few short moments before I pull back and kiss his cheek then he ushers me through the crowd, Haymitch and Effie following dutifully.

Instead of going home like I had anticipated, my father walks me right past the house I grew up in and through town towards Victor's Village

"I'm moving here already?" I ask, petrified at the thought of being alone in a house even bigger than the mansion I'm accustomed to

"Presidents request" my father tells me, his glassy eyes apologising where his words can't

"Request?" I wonder

"The president himself asked me to have you moved in here the day you returned, your belongings have already been brought over" Effie tells me, her tone is encouraging but her eyes, like Haymitch and my fathers, are somber, worried "he mentioned something about seclusion, the lack of an audience" Effie adds and I understand, he knows I'm not as together as the girl I'm portraying, he knows eventually I'm going to implode and he'd rather I get it over with, away from others eyes but he did believe me.

They don't even come inside, I send them away before we've even reached the porch and my father hands me a shiny brass key. Effie kisses my cheeks, Haymitch squeezes my shoulder, my father cups my cheek. As the warmth of his hand slips away it feels like the life, the energy, has been sucked out of me. The red brick porch steps are tiring after sleepless nights but even so, I register that I always hated red brick. My eyes burn and my vision is blurring as I reach the summit and the midnight blue door seems to shrinking further and further away. Even getting the key in the lock proves difficult, I drop it twice and worry Haymitch is watching me from his home across the court yard but know he's probably unconscious in his bath tub, half drowned in white liquor already.

The house is a lot like the mansion I grew up in, high ceilings, hard floors, big rooms and unnecessary furnishings. Somehow though, this house seems even more cold and still than my last did, I suppose it makes perfect sense, as empty as my last home was there was still signs of life, this building is but a shell. With that thought I climb in to the first bed I find and admire the perfect symmetry of a soulless girl living in a soulless house.

The bed is bigger than even my fathers at home, the duvet is thick and somehow warm and the pillows are soft and airy but there is nothing comforting about it. Even between the heated sheets I'm cold, my empty stomach aches and I want to quench my hunger but the overflowing pantry somewhere downstairs does not tempt me, I have not slept willingly since the arena and without capitol remedies to prevent it I know sleep will consume me and I'll be ravaged by nightmares. I begin to shake but I'm not sure if it's because of my temperature, my hunger, my exhaustion or my deteriorating mental stability. I fight the tears pooling in my eyes, I will them not to fall but inevitably they do. I sob until my throat hurts but I don't cry for anything except the fact that I can. I've forced my thoughts of everything that mattered so far away I can't find them so I just cry for the sake of crying until there's nothing left and exhaustion takes me.

I'm digging, no reason, no restraint, I'm just digging. It's dark and I can feel the dirt caked under my fingernails but I carry on clawing at the earth with my bare hands. When the consistency changes I ignore it, the moist earth is more mailable and I tear chunks away, when water starts leaking through, I dig faster. When a small puddle sits before me I splash the water over my face, and use it to clean the muck off my arms, I scoop up handfuls and douse myself with them, then finally I lift a handful to my lips and let it wet my dry mouth. Only when it hits my tongue it doesn't refresh me, it burns and leaves a bitter taste so I lower my head to the puddle and drink from it. Blood fills my mouth, warm, sweet blood and it chokes me. I stare down at the pool and wait for my eyes to adjust, it's water, I reason and dip my hand below the surface. As I lift my cupped palm from the puddle the clear water turns to crimson blood and it clots between my fingers, it's drying my mouth and suffocating me, when I finally stop breathing I fall face down in to the puddle.


	21. Chapter 21

My nightmare leaves me sweaty and shaking, I breath deeply but I still feel as though I'm suffocating. After finally calming myself enough to catch my breath I move up the bed and press my back to the headboard. Moonlight streams through the windows that stretch the length of the room, it illuminates the furniture and makes everything seem sinister. I hold my head in my hands and drag my fingers through my tangled hair, I can't go back to sleep, the thought alone terrifies me.

I contemplate turning on the lights but decide against it, it's highly unlikely but there's still a chance Haymitch is coherent enough to notice. I visit each room again, turns out I picked the smallest bedroom to sleep in. I give up after I find a third sitting room because the wastefulness was making me angry, there's twelve of these things sitting here empty and families of eight living in single story, two room shacks. The contents of my pantry could probably feed a family for a year and I have enough fire wood to keep every household in the seam warm.

I realise I need to do something, my whole life has been about doing something and I've become accustomed to being busy. I went in to the games with the intention of becoming victor and I did it. Now, I need to feel like I have a purpose again and there's only one place I've ever felt like that.

The old shack was always so much more than that to me. When my father bought it secretly, so I had somewhere other than the woods to train I spent every spare second I had here. When I needed somewhere to hide treasonous documents, I had it. When Darius and I needed a meeting place, there it was. When I needed somewhere to think and now when I need to feel safe, here it is.

I take comfort in the smell, old paper and the lemon drops Darius and I shared every day. I enjoy the groan of the floorboards as they protest to my weight and I relish the sense of belonging. When I notice the amber glow of the desk lamp, seeping from the door to my records room I skip across the room and throw myself at my best friend. I realise too late, it's not Darius.

Of all the people who could have found us out I never could've imagined it would be Gale Hawthorne and even though he has the power to have me and almost everyone I hold dear executed I'm more worried about the file he's reading and how I failed to prevent his fathers death

"What the hell are you doing here?" I growl

"Madge" he gasps

"What are you doing here?!"

"I- Madge" his brows furrow but he's smiling more than he's frowning

"Answer!"

"Madge! You're knee is- an inch from making me infertile" he forces out uncomfortably

"Oh!" I gasp and jump to my feet "now answer me!" I demand "why the hell are you in here?!"

"I wanted to finish reading this file"

"How did you get in here?"

"The door isn't locked"

"You know what I'm talking about"

"While you were ... away ... Darius introduced us to ... all this"

"Us?" I hiss

"Me and Katniss"

"So he's just blabbing to anyone?!" I'm away for a matter of weeks and Darius jeopardises a lifetime of work

"You volunteered for Prim. You think Katniss was just gonna drop that?"

"That's not the point! Hundreds of lives and years of work are at stake here and he's just telling anyone who asks"

"We deserve a chance to fight back too Madge!" he speaks quietly but it feels like he yelled. That's what all this is really, a chance, who am I to deny him that?

"When did you start calling you Madge anyway?" I frown and cross my arms over my chest defensively, I don't like him being here

"When I got over my prejudice towards you" he sighs and rubs his face "Madge I have to thank you"

"What?"

"You've done a lot for my family, for my family and the district, for all the districts"

"It's never enough" I counter automatically, nothing anyone does is ever enough

"It's more than enough Madge, you've given up your life for this"

"Thanks for reminding me" I murmur and wrap my arms around myself more tightly

"I didn't mean- I don't know what I mean- just ... Thank you"

"You shouldn't be thanking me Gale" I mutter, eyeing the file he was reading when I found him

"Madge you took Rory's name of the tessera census. That's huge!"

"It's still not enough"

"It's more than anyone should ever ask Madge"

"No one asked!"

"Exactly, you do it because you're a good, fair person"

"Okay" I interrupt awkwardly "who are you and what have you done with Gale Hawthorne?" he half smiles but pins me with an intense stare

"I haven't changed Madge, I've just opened my eyes"

"Yeah you're definitely not Gale"

"I'm sorry I was such a jerk to you" I shrug "you didn't deserve it"

"I understood"

"No. Orion was right" and then it's like I've physically been hit, my breath catches and my chest tightens painfully. My head throbs and I can feel my pulse at my temples "Madge are you alright?" Gale's voice is distorted but it pulls me out of it long enough for me to realise I'm going to fall apart

"I have to go"

"Madge?"

"I have- I have to g-go"

"Madge are you? Madge!" I'm aware of the fact I'm falling I just can't do anything about it, I still can't breath and my vision is blurring "Madge!" the tone of Gale's voice makes me believe that I'm looking a little worse for wear, my thoughts are relatively coherent but I can't make myself answer him.

I scramble to my feet clumsily and throw myself in to the street before taking off in the general direction of Victors Village. The air is biting but I push myself to move faster, take longer strides, outrun anyone following me. I'm not sure if there is actually someone calling my name or if it's my mind playing tricks on me. My muscles burn and protest at the strain but it's easily ignored, my chest clenches tighter and tighter so I hold my breath and force myself on. I nearly take the front door off it's hinges and run blindly through the house until I fall to my knees in the kitchen. My eyes fall on the pantry for the first time and my stomach rolls at the amount of unwanted food. At the back of it is a shelf housing boxes of wine and various bottles of liquor. I've only ever tasted champagne and while crisp and refreshing I didn't like the taste enough to reach for a second flute. However something pulls me toward the shelf and I take down a bottle of whiskey. The first swig burns and I spit most of it in to the sink unable to understand how Haymitch drinks the stuff with his morning coffee. The second mouthful I'm prepared for and it's followed quickly by a third and a fourth until my mouth is numb and I'm glugging it down like cool water on a hot day. When the bottle is half empty I know I should stop because it takes three tries for me to climb on to one of the kitchen island stools but I don't. I finish the bottle in just a few sips and fall face down on the counter top.

Something tugs at my arm, it takes a minute for the numbness to recede but then there's crunching and pure agony. When I turn my head I find my hand in the mouth of the lion mutt, it's gnawing on my fingers and I can't pull my arm away. As the creature begins to maul more of my arm something digs into my calf and I look down in time to see the boy from 2 jabbing a dagger back into my leg. Then there's slicing and burning and the boy from 1 is carving shapes into my arm with a small blade and I still can't move. The girl from 3 is the next to join and she simply starts snapping the fingers I have left. The pair from 4 use scorched blades to burn my legs and as my skin melts I scream, only nothing comes out. When a dark figure appears above me I'm ready to die rather than endure any more pain, then I see who it is

"Hello Goldilocks" he grins but it's not his carefree smile, it's something else. Instead of helping me fight back like I'd hoped, he straddles my hips, pinning my useless body to the ground. I forget about my limbs being torn to shreds the moment I see him pull a knife from his belt and the face I've come to trust so completely, morph in to something sinister and evil.

He digs the knife into my abdomen and blood bubbles out of the wound. I don't feel it until he smiles and wriggles the handle of the knife around. It takes my breath away when he draws out the knife and it feels like fire when he plunges it back in to my chest.


	22. Chapter 22

"Madge! Madge!" I open my eyes a second too late and Haymitch dumps a jug of cold water over my head "not that I'm not impressed Honey but did you really think drowning your sorrows was the best way to go?"

"Shut up Haymitch" I groan, I feel like I've been hit by a train and when I realise my hand is still clasped around the empty whiskey bottle I remember why "how and why do you drink this stuff?"

"Same reason you did last night. Grief"

"But it doesn't help" I mutter weakly

"No, no it doesn't"

"What're you doing here Haymitch?"

"The camera crew is here" I groan "it's going to be this way for a while Honey"

"I know, I just- my head hurts"

"Drinking a bottle of whiskey on an empty stomach will do that to you. Probably the only reason you aren't chucking up"

"Lovely"

"Not bad for a newbie" he chuckles, I groan again

"What time is it?"

"Earlier than I've been up in a long time"

"How long do I have?"

"An hour" Haymitch calls from my pantry "take a shower then they're sending someone in to doll you up"

"Where's Cinna?"

"Too busy" he says with a mouthful of nuts "he's a hit" Haymitch continues sarcastically and with unsteady legs I reluctantly get to my feet.

Haymitch waits patiently while I bathe, talking to me from the hall the entire time. He goes quiet when I shampoo my hair and I face the door in time for a prep team to barge in. It wouldn't take a genius to realise the most recent capitol trend

"Oh, I-" I stammer pointlessly and try to cover myself up but they barely notice. One with flames tattooed around her eyes gushes and fans herself while another with golden skin speechlessly shakes my hand. The third doesn't say a word, just leans over and starts massaging suds into my scalp. While the other two look a bit ridiculous, this girl has done something subtle. Her hair is highlighted in various shades of copper and bronze, and her skin has that same shimmer mine did in my interview.

An hour later and I'm still nodding and smiling at everything Lucia and Marcelia say, Marciela has been explaining how the gold paint doesn't wash off of her skin for almost all of that time. The third girl, Lavinia, as Lucia introduced her, hasn't said a word.

"And they were all so jealous that we were to be meeting you" Lucia natters "you're my favourite victor you know, well actually no. Finnick O'dair is my favourite victor" she corrects herself "is it true you're planning to have a baby after the victory tour?" and on that note, I think a subject change is in order

"Would you like something to eat Lucia?"

"No I doubt you have the brands I like" she says, wrinkling her nose

"Tea maybe? Marcelia?"

"Oh no" she shakes her head adamantly "I'm only eating pink foods this month"

"Of course" I say, trying to keep the confusion from my face "Lavinia?" I turn to face the silent girl but Lucia speaks before she can

"Oh she can't, she's an avox" an avox? They aren't allowed to leave the capitol, ever. It's an unspoken rule. I ignore Lucia's dismissal of Lavinia, matching her rudeness of speaking as if Lavinia wasn't even there and turn to the quiet pretty girl

"Lavinia would you like something?" she looks shocked for just a second before glaring at Lucia quickly and shaking her head "if you're sure?" she smiles the tinniest bit and nods "okay".

They dress me in pastel pink, the kind of pink that very clearly doesn't belong in District 12. As if I don't stand out enough. When I appear from the bathroom Haymitch looks me up and down and sighs. I haven't worn a simple sundress in what feels like years and in a weird way I feel like I shouldn't. It's too much like going back to how things were, people no longer see me as a quiet little girl with pretty clothes and shiny hair. They see me as ruthless and lethal, a killer of children.

"Should I change?" I ask, picking at the hem of my dress

"No, no you look like you" he mutters gruffly

"But I'm not who I was before Haymitch"

"I know. That girl, she's gone, probably forever but you're still you"

"I'm not so sure" I mumble

"I am" Haymitch says and nudges my chin "you're just a little fragile at the minute"

"Fragile" I scoff

"I just want you put back together as soon as possible Honey"

"Easier said than done Haymitch" Haymitch opens his mouth to say something but I don't want to hear it so I cut him off "whatever, it doesn't matter, let's go".

Walking through Victor's Village is fine, there's no one around to stare but crossing the border in to town that all changes. It's like the whole street stops in it's tracks just to turn and watch. I force my features in to what I hope looks like a smile and push my shoulders back. I look longingly at the little path behind the butchers knowing Darius will be down there

"Soon" Haymitch murmurs, having noticed my distraction

"I just missed him" I tell him quietly, before my prep team can reach us

"I know"

"Did you know he told Katniss Everdeen and Gale Hawthorne about the rebellion?" I whisper

"He did, did he?"

"Gale knows everything, how are you so plaze about this?"

"They're good kids, reliable, trustworthy, I don't see the harm"

"Don't see the harm?" I whisper harshly "so we just tell everyone now?"

"It's two smart, independent young people, who've been going against the capitol since their fathers were murdered. They have skills and knowledge and I've never seen fire like there is in that Hawthorne boy"

"I just think it's a little reckless"

"I think it was a wise decision. Hold on, how do you know this?"

"I saw Gale last night" Haymitch turns to me and raises an eyebrow "he was at the shack"

"What were you doing at the shack? Someone might have seen you"

"I was careful, it was late"

"And Hawthorne was there?" I nod "alone?"

"Yes"

"What was he doing?"

"Just looking through some of my files, the mines, his dads death, his dads involvement with everything"

"Then what exactly are you worried about?"

"We're just so close Haymitch"

"Exactly. People have got to find out soon"

"I just wasn't expecting it"

"You know things are going to be crazy for a while, the camera crew leaves in a couple days and then you can see Darius and anyone else you want to see without those idiots getting involved"

"It's going to be even harder now Haymitch, everyone will be watching" I tell him, glancing around at the numerous pairs of eyes on us

"You knew this"

"Doesn't mean I have to like it" I grumble, Haymitch chuckles as we're joined by Effie and my prep team

"Come come everyone, Madge has to be at the Mayor's mansion in 15 minutes for hair and make up"

"I just did that" I point out in confusion, Effie simply nods "all that to walk across town?" I exclaim

"You're a Victor now Madge, image is everything" as much as Effie believes her own words I don't miss the sarcasm in her tone "now come along" dutifully I follow Effie towards town like a good little Victor, ignoring how people stop what they're doing to watch and the silence then falls around us. When we reach the square the silence seems worse and I drop my chin

"Don't you bow your head girl" a gruff voice calls from the side of the street and I look up without realising they're talking to me. I meet the weary eyes of a middle aged woman, she has a friendly face but it's worn and she's probably not as old as she looks. Sae, I think that's what Darius called her, Greasy Sae "don't you bow your head" she repeats "you did well, don't you bow your head".


	23. Chapter 23

Being in my old home is worse than being at my mansion in Victors Village. The party is nothing new, they still make me sick by making themselves sick when there are children less than a mile away dying of starvation. Only this time I can't stay hidden in a corner until eventually drifting up to bed. This year everyone wants a piece of me and I haven't got anymore to give. I dance with old men that put their hands anywhere there's bare skin. I talk to women that are more plastic than flesh and I smile at people I want to hurt.

Sometime after midnight, a woman dressed as what I think is the mutation from my games asks me about the careers I killed and my vision blurs. I can hear the question about my district partner on her lips when Effie guides an arm around my waist and earns a scowl from the mutt woman before leading me to the bathroom.

"Here" she holds out a little orange pill in her gloved hand and I all but climb the wall to get away from it

"No"

"Madge please. You're doing beautifully but I can't bare to see you like this. It'll just keep you going for tonight and you won't remember any of it in the morning"

"Exactly!"

"You can't do this" she states "maybe you could have if you hadn't lost him but you can't now"

"I can't" I tell her weakly

"You have to"

"No"

"Madge, it's the only way" when someone vomits then giggles the other side of the door I take the pill from Effie and swallow it dry.

I take a flute of peach liquid offered to me and lift it to my lips, swallowing quickly. It makes my lips stick together and seems thick in my mouth, when my taste buds get accommodated to the sensation, the irony taste of blood fills my mouth and I gag. I reach for another glass of a different colour and drain it, only for the same ghastly texture to coat my mouth. I take an amber liquid from a different tray and that too tastes of blood. When I spit it back in to the glass it's warm and crimson, it dribbles down my chin. When I look up at the server holding the tray, he's grinning. He's grinning in the exact same way he was before he jumped off the waterfall.

My father is at my bedside, it's a first. He never did this, even if I was sick. Now that I think about it, I don't think he's ever been in my room. Wait, my room, why aren't I in Victors Village?

"You were screaming" my father says simply

"How come I'm here?"

"Effie gave you something last night to help with ... " he trails off "the effects. You couldn't get home"

"Did I disturb mom?" my father shakes his head but I know I did

"She's sleeping now" drug induced sleep "there's breakfast ready downstairs"

"Are there cameras?"

"No" my father shifts towards me on the bed and strokes my hair "but some of the guests from last night have not yet left" I nod as my gut sinks and he sighs "we love you, your mother and I, very much"

"I love you too dad".

A few days later there is another party, one the fallen tributes family is invited to. I doubt they'll show up but there's always a chance, if they're hungry enough. Effie assures me there's no sign of them a few minutes before I make my grand entrance but that doesn't mean my stomach isn't rolling and there aren't tears in my eyes

"Would you like some help tonight?" Effie whispers near my ear. I cringe at the thought, I refuse to become dependant on anything like that. I've seen what it's done to my mother and I won't allow that for myself, not ever

"No thank you Effie" she nods and starts fussing with the ruffled tail of the evening gown I'm wearing tonight. A fitted peach number with a poofy mermaid tail that I'd usually hate but Cinna's a genius. The one criticism I have is that, to make up for the frills and girlie colour, he's made it backless and the bodice is so tight my boobs are inches from my chin

"Alright then, perfect" she declares, tucking a loose curl back into braided bun at the base of my head "lovely, wonderful, fabulous. Are you ready?"

"Always" I grin falsely, Effie's smile falters and she touches a gloved hand to my cheek

"This is the last one, we'll leave tomorrow and you can have a little peace"

"You know as well as I do, I'll never have peace Effie"

"Perhaps not ... But I'm a firm believer, every man gets what they deserve, one way or another. And you Dear, you deserve a little peace. Showtime".

The crowd is just like any other, a swirling mass of colour and jewels at the bottom of the staircase. A sea of decadence, ready to swallow me up and consume me. I feel like I'm suffocating, then from the corner of my eye I catch a glimpse of grey and I'm able to catch my breath. It stands out so profoundly in this room that I can't help but stare. I stare at the man in grey just as he stares back at me and it's just like old times. In a room full of people all I see is Gale Hawthorne.

He lingers at the edge of the room, near the tables laden with delicious foods but he doesn't eat a thing. When a server passes him with a tray of champagne, he refuses but his partner takes two. He's with a girl that looks a lot like Katniss, but then most girls from the Seam look somewhat similar to Katniss. She wears a faded red dress that might have had a pattern a long time ago and her hair hangs pin straight around her face. She's beautiful in a scary way and more striking in a old sundress and flat black shoes than anyone else here, myself and the mutt woman, who's still here, included. Her name is Leevy and she is the spitting image of her cousin.

"Effie" I gasp

"Yes Dear?"

"I can't breath" she follows my gaze and her eyes widen, there's no mistaking the relation

"Oh goodness, alright I'll just-"

"Here" Haymitch cuts her off having appeared from nowhere and hands me his scotch "it'll take the edge off, relax you"

"Oh Haymitch you can't possibly be suggesting she get drunk"

"Not drunk, just buzzed. It's better than that crap you give her anyway" I take the glass from Haymitch and sip at it while they bicker then start on another until I feel my senses dumb.

I chat with strangers for the most part, talk about the games, the capitol and Cinna's designs, I try to steer conversation in that direction as much as possible. When my senses begin to sharpen again I take another of Haymitch's drinks, much to Effie's dismay but it's better than her alternative

"Well at least I know what to get you for your next birthday" Haymitch chuckles

"What?" I ask distractedly

"Maybe a fancy flask, with a nice engraving" he jokes and I tell myself this is my last drink. Haymitch's eyes narrow at something over my shoulder right before I feel cold fingers pawing at my back

"Can I cut in for a dance?" Alias Clarke is a smarmy man with very few morals. He's been trying to beat Seneca Crane out for gamemaker for years but apparently lacks the imagination that would make the games truly exciting

"Oh Alias, what a nice surprise" Alias ignores Haymitch's scoff and flattens his palm on the base of my spine. It makes me feel dirty, he's handsome but in a way that seems dangerous. His eyes are sharp, a pale piercing blue and his features are a little too pronounced but earn him a lot of attention. He has a reputation that makes Finnick look squeaky clean

"Perhaps a dance with the latest victor?"

"Of course" I'd rather be dancing with the old man who smelt like dust and burnt toast

"You look quite lovely tonight Madge, can I call you Madge?"

"Of course" no.

"I can only hope you continue to answer me this way" he smirks and my stomach drops. Alias is known for his interest in victors, Finnick has told me horror stories of him and the things he's paid to do to victors. There were rumours he almost killed Cashmere, a victor from District 1, after paying for her time "tell me, do you enjoy how the men in this room are looking at you?"

"Excuse me?"

"Do you have Cinna dress you this way on purpose, to tease these poor fools?"

"I simply wear what I am given Alias"

"Is that so?"

"I think Cinna is an artist and every one of his designs is a masterpiece"

"I'm a collector of art Madge" suddenly the cold hand on my back is skating down "you'd make a wonderful addition" when his hand comes to rest on my behind I stop swaying with the music and when he squeezes I step away and something sinister clouds his eyes "I will have you Madge, the president and I have already discussed it" I jump when someone brushes my shoulder and comes to stand just between Alias and I "can I help you with something Abbernathy?" Alias smirks

"I should-"

"Give this lovely young lady and I some space to dance?" all three of us turn to face the new comer and my breath catches when I realise it's Gale

"What a good idea" Haymitch grins smugly and takes a swig from his glass "you go and enjoy yourselves"

"Miss Undersee?"eagerly I take the arm Gale offers me and don't look back.

"Miss Undersee?" I question as Gale tries to work out where to put his hands

"I can be gentlemanly if I have to"

"Thank you" I say, placing one of his hands on my waist and taking the other

"Haymitch looked about ready to kill him"

"Haymitch used to have better control over his emotions"

"There are some things that warrant loss of control ... like that scumbag grabbing you back there"

"It happens, he knows that, he knew it was only going to get worse"

"Doesn't mean you should have to put up with it"

"Please, handsy capitol socialites are the least of my worries"

"Is it really safe to talk about this here?"

"No" I sigh "what exactly are you doing here?"

"Leevy didn't want to come alone"

"I see, have you left her on her own?"

"No, she uh, she left right after you come down"

"Oh"

"She wasn't ready"

"Of course" thinking about Leevy brings her face to my mind, her face, so much like her cousins "excuse me please" I don't wait for an answer and rush from the dance floor, grabbing a wine glass and the remaining bottle from the closest table on my way out. Drinking in the fresh air out on the patio only makes the alcohol more potent and the hum of warmth it brings as it dumbs my senses once again is like taking the first step towards weightlessness.


	24. Chapter 24

I finish the bottle before anyone finds me and by then the fresh air, lack of food and mixing drinks mean it's too late

"Madge?"

"Gale" I drawl

"Are you alright?"

"Just dandy" I slur and have to grip the patio wall to keep myself upright

"Are you drunk? Hells teeth Madge, do you want to end up like Haymitch?" he says, catching my arm before I lose my balance

"There's something to this drinking thing"

"Uch, you reek of booze"

"I thought you were _gentlemanly_"

"And ladies get roaring drunk do they?"

"Murderers do" I point out, he sighs

"You're not a murderer"

"That whole shindig in there is to celebrate the fact. And I thought I was the drunk one"

"You are. Come here" grasping my arms Gale guides me to sit on the stone bench at the edge of the patio where I used to do my homework "sit"

"Yes Sir" I salute him mockingly and he rolls his eyes "that's not very gentlemanly either"

"Just sit down will you" I try to do as he says but the tail of my dress gets caught on my heel and I stumble. If I weren't drunk, I could've stopped myself before the stone bench hit the back of my knees, but I am drunk so of course I go head first backwards over the bench "bloody hell Madge, how much have you had? ... Well?"

"Give me a minute, I'm trying to understand why I didn't hit the ground" he shakes his head

"I caught you, I'm still holding you up?" I see the way his hands are locks around my arms and smile

"Oh yeah"

"Are you sure it's just alcohol in your system?"

"I don't remember" I giggle

"Hells teeth Madge"

"I want to go to bed"

"That's a good idea. Come on, I'll take you home" with great effort and using Gales shoulder for support, I get to my feet

"I have to tell Effie I'm leaving"

"No don't worry about that now, besides you can't go in there like this anyway"

"Okay" I concede and let him half carry me away from the house. When we get to the end of the path Gale makes sure I'm steady and bends to gether up the tail of my dress "what're you doing?"

"The grounds still wet, your dress'll be ruined"

"You don't have to do that"

"You can't drag a dress like this through the mud"

"You like it? Didn't think it was your colour" I joke as Gale stands again

"It's beautiful" he says lowly, his gaze fixed, the silvery grey of his eyes ablaze. In just a few eternal seconds I go from drunk enough to trip over my own feet to stone cold sober "you look ... really nice"

"You don't scrub up too bad either Hawthorne, that colour suits you"

"What? Grey?" he chuckles

"You're making it work" I shrug

"Thanks" he chuckles again "can I ask you something?" he asks, his tone more serious

"Shoot"

"How do you do it? The parties? The people?"

"Years and years of practice and apparently a good scotch and a vintage bottle of wine doesn't hurt ... honestly, I've been pretending so long I don't know what's real anymore"

"You have Haymitch ... and Darius" he suggests, checking our surroundings but we're alone

"Yeah but Darius and I's entire relaionship is built on our involvement in the rebellion. And Haymitch? He'll never admit it but everything he does for me is out of obligation"

"Obligation?"

"Haymitch and my aunt were allies in the games. He couldn't save her so he's dedicated everything to saving me. Whic is ridiculous, he was just a kid, there's nothing more he could've done"

"Exactly" I turn my head in question and Gale's already looking back at me "there's nothing more you could've done for-"

"Don't" I plead "don't talk about- just please don't make me think about it"

"I'm sorry, I can see what it's doing to you and I just wanted you to understand no one's blaming you"

"I am!" I snap "it was my fault. And what about- what about his family, they're blaming me ... because it as my fault"

"He made his own decision"

"I can't talk about this. Thank you for walking me, I can go by myself from here"

"No Madge ... wait, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. Let's talk about something else?"

"I really think you shoud just- you should just go home. Thanks again for walking with me"

"Alright, I'll uh- I'll see you around"

"Night"

"Yeah, goodnight Madge".

I watch him head back the direction we came until I can't see his figure anymore and then I finish the walk to Victors Village. The stillness of the house is a welcome change from the party but the silence is defeaning. It's so empty, ominous, I need a drink. I pass out in the sitting room, in my underwear with a bottle of wine for a pillow and Cinna's beautiful creation in a pile on the floor.

I'm back at the top of the grand staircase in the mayors mansion. Swarms of Capitol people bellow me, reaching out, no clawing at me. Climbing over eachother, crushing eachother all to get a little closer. They nash their teeth and snarl, they rip eachother apart with clawed hands and pointed teeth as they fight to get closer. I simply watch as the marble staircase becomes slick with blood and torn body parts lay disgarded at the foot. I simply stand as they tear out eachothers throats in the race to reach me. Then one, a dark haired male, frees him self from the pack, he has a clear shot at me yet when I see his eyes I do not turn to run. Instead I take a step closer and he speaks

"Hello Goldilocks" it's his sharpened nails, like talons, that slice through my jugular.

Air burns my throat as I gasp for it. I clutch at my neck, moments ago gushing blood, to find no imperfection. Yet when I pull away my hand it's coated in blood. Then I see the broken bottle on the ground and the shard of glass still embedded in my palm and I let out the breath I'd been holding.

I go to the kitchen, I wash away the blood and I remove all the glass I can. I'm looking for something I can use as a bandage when someone raps on the front door and I'm forced to wrap a tea towel around my hand. I,m not even out of the kitchen before the knocker sounds again, quick frantic knocks that make me run to the door. I unlock it whilst pulling on my winter coat hanging by the entrance

"What is i-"

"Where the hell have you been?!" Haymitch cuts me off, pushing past me in to the house with a face like thunder

"Here"

"You just disappeared, no one knew where you'd gone. Effie had a shit fit"

"I came here, where else would I have gone?"

"We had no idea, that's exactly my point"

"You didn't think to check here first?"

"Well I would have if Effie hadn't noticed that pig Clarke was missing too"

"I was tired"

"Tired?" he repeats, cocking an eyebrow

"Yes tired"

"You don't think it would've been nice of you to tell us you were leaving"

"I couldn't go back in"

"It would have only taken a minute-"

"I was too drunk to okay! I was too drunk to even get home by myself, Gale Hawthorne had to walk me"

"That boy just keeps cropping up doesn't he"

"Look I'm sorry I didn't inform you of my departure but my head's killing me and I'd really like to go back to bed, it's what? Four AM?"

"Four, thirty"

"My point is still valid" he lets out a heavy sigh and shakes his head

"Look I know you're going through hell but-"

"No, no but" I snap, jabbing my finger in his chest. I realise too late it's the hand wrapped in a tea towel

"What's this?" I wince as he grabs my injured hand

"Nothing"

"Let me see"

"It's nothing" I argue but he's already disgarding the bloody towel

"This is deep"

"It's fine" I gripe, snatching my hand away

"Just shut up and listen to me will you, for five minutes"

"I'm not sure I have five minutes" I mutter sarcastically

"How'd it happen? And I'm not sure Effie would like your tone"

"Effie's not here"

"She'd like to think she'd taught you better and don't avoid the question, what happened?"

"I told you, it's nothing" my protests are futile, he's seen the bottle now and he strides over to the mess in the sitting room

"Madge" he picks up what's left of the bottle and begins to fill it with the smaller pieces of glass "I understood the drinking at first but it's already out of hand. I never meant you to get drunk"

"It was my choice Haymitch not yours"

"It's a choice I'll make for you if it continues. I won't let you become like me"

"You don't have to protect me anymore Haymitch, you're not my mentor"

"This isn't about being your mentor, it's my responsibility"

"I'm not you're tribute Haymitch ... and I'm not Maysilee" we each let out a breath, mine filled with relief, having finally voiced my resentment. His filled with grief

"I know you're not your aunt Honey. You may share the same blood, maybe a similar nose but you're not her. I don't care for you out of obligation Madge, I love you because I was ready to die before you came along. For a while it was about having a little piece of your aunt but you gave me a reason to live and I grew to love you for you and your spirit. I didn't want to lose Maysilee but I absolutely refuse to lose you".


	25. Chapter 25

The first time I'm ordered to the Capitol is just a month after returning home and thus far I haven't left Victor's Village. The only people I've had contact with are Haymitch and my father and I spend my days planning meticulously. I don't sleep unless I've had a drink and as Haymitch has taken to stealing any liquor I get my hands on, more often than not I don't sleep and I plan some more. Haymitch keeps me informed with anything new he, Darius or Gale find and as dubious as I was at first Gale seems to be a great asset.

The planning and plotting can only do so much though, it can distract me for long enough but inevitably the night terrors plague me. Images of dismembered limbs and bloody corpses follow me from room to room with no sign of change and I see things that aren't there.

When a letter comes with the documents from HQ I don't read it for two days. When I catch my father eyeing it on a visit, I relent and open it. It's from the president and I throw up in the sink before even reading the contents.

I tell only Haymitch that I'm going and arrange for the train to leave earlier than even the Mellark's will be up. I spend the train journey drinking tea and wishing the avoxes wouldn't move so silently. The letter specified I would be greeted at the train station by a car but I certainly wasn't expecting Effie to be waiting on the platform

"Hello my dear" she kisses my cheeks and ignores my state of dress in favour for eyeing my protruding collarbones "come along, Portia is waiting"

"Portia?"

"Oh yes, Cinna sends his love and he's so sorry he couldn't be here. He's just so busy Dear" I nod "over here" Effie gestures to a car waiting nearby and follows me in when the door is opened for us "Madge" Effie turns to me her tone serious "Haymitch has told me how you've been living and it's just not healthy. I knew it was bad but this is far worse than I expected. Is there something I can do? Something I can get you?"

"It's not living Effie" I mumble

"What Dear"

"It's not living" when the driver climbs into the front seat I eye him carefully

"Oh don't worry about Castor, he can keep a secret" Effie grins and the burly red haired man winks back at her "Madge we don't know what to do" Effie says bluntly "we're losing you"

"I'll smile for the cameras Effie, I'll do everything I was trained to do"

"Forget all that" Effie snaps, losing composure like I've only seen on very few occasions "forget the rebellion and forget your involvement. Before any of that comes you"

"I'm one person Effie" I say sounding bored and staring out the window

"The most important person Madge" I turn to face her with wide eyes and her expression is like stone "just try Madge, don't give up" she squeezes my hand but I don't feel a thing "Now" she continues, back to her usual self "This visit was supposed to be very low key but someone somewhere let slip and while your arrival was kept quiet I can't promise there won't be anyone at the President's Mansion when we arrive. So, we'll be making a stop first to make sure you're presentable and fed".

When we come to a stop it's outside a red brick building with a black door and small veranda. Hanging from it is a sign that reads Cin

"This is Cinna's shop?"

"No Dear, you can't buy Cinna's designs anywhere, they have to be commissioned, this is his private office".

"Madge!" Flavius exclaims from a seat in the corner of the large room, his mouth still full of some treat

"Flavius" I kiss each his cheeks then Octavia's when she joins him

"Hello my sweet" Portia hugs me, I return it but don't feel the warmth like I used to

"My goodness what happened?" Venia gasps when she sees me

"I didn't sleep well on the train" it's not a lie but they accept it and I'm ushered from a plush seating area to a room with a seat that reclines into a sink. My hair is washed and treated then the sink is wheeled away and I'm stripped and washed. They wax the hair that's grown back and I'm given the vitamin that made my skin glow. My hands are put to soak in some nourishing treatment or other and my feet are tended to. By the time they start on my hair I'm drifting in to a deep sleep.

When I wake up the room is empty and it's much darker, I sit up and stretch out my legs, my stomach growls. It's an odd sensation as I haven't been hungry for weeks

"Effie?" there's a quiet bang in another room and I get off the chair "Effie?" I hear voices down the hall and I follow them only when I reach the last door they sound more like grunts. The door swings open and there on the floor is my district partner, he's snarling and tearing pieces off the mutt from the games. When he looks up at me a salacious grin spreads across his face and he lunges.

I startle awake and tip whatever it is my nails were soaking in

"My goodness I'm sorry"

"We were done with that anyway" Octavia assures me "time to get you dressed".

Portia wheels in multiple shoe boxes and several hangers on a coat rack and beckons me over

"Would you like to pick?" I reach out and touch some of the materials out of curiosity but shake my head

"I trust you" Portia selects a few hangers, fitted black pants, a black blouse, a crimson red coat and a black fur shapka "normal clothes?" I ask with a raised eyebrow

"It's cold out" Portia smiles and helps me dress, when she's happy with the way my hair falls under the hat she helps me into black suede boots that pass my knee "all done" she nods her approval and turns me towards a mirror.

They did most of the work while I was asleep so when I see my reflection I'm mildly taken aback. Firstly buy how healthy I look, I've been avoiding mirrors recently because it's never just me looking back but I know I looked to be on deaths door. I have colour, whether from make up or the vitamin I don't know, probably both. My hair is thick and glossy ... and long, longer than I've ever worn it but I like the change. It falls past my waist now in large loose curls. My eyelids are coated in shimmering black shadow and a dark glittery substance that catches light and my lips are a lush plum red, they darken to purple then almost black at the edges

"I look ..."

"Beautiful" Flavius offers

"Frightening" I add

"Strong" Portia says squeezing my shoulder.

At the presidents mansion I'm greeted by an avox and guided to a greenhouse. Lined wall to wall with row upon row of roses in every colour imaginable. The smell is overwhelming

"Miss Undersee" I turn to find the president walking towards me, a white rose pinched between his fingers

"Mr. President"

"How wonderful you look"

"How kind" I smile widely "I was very glad of your invitation"

"I'm very pleased you accepted" as if I had a choice

"Can I ask why, you sent the invitation that is?"

"I suppose it would be a good place to start. Shall we?" he gestures towards a set of grand patio doors and I lead the way out of the greenhouse and in to one of the many gardens I know to be surrounding the presidential mansion "I was talking about you just yesterday"

"All good things I hope"

"Of course" the president smiles "would you like to know whom it was I was speaking with?"

"Alright" I nod

"Alias Clarke has a very high opinion of you"

"I see" I know for a fact the presidents opinion of Alias Clarke isn't much better than mine but this can't be going anywhere good

"It isn't mutual?"

"No I wouldn't say so" I laugh "my apologies Mr. President but the man's an idiot"

"I have to say I'm inclined to agree with you Miss Undersee but he came to me with an interesting topic"

"May I ask what?"

"You, Miss Undersee. Or rather your company?"

"My company?"

"He has asked me to arrange a meeting"

"I see" I swallow thickly unable to stop Finnicks stories replaying in my head

"When for?"

"Now don't jump to conclusions Miss Undersee. I told him I would have to discuss it with you"

"May I be blunt?"

"Feel free" the president chuckles

"There is money involved here yes?"

"Quite a substantial sum"

"I'll match it" the president laughs

"Come my dear, we'll take lunch now".


	26. Chapter 26

When a platter of cheeses, breads and fruits is laid before me I thank the avox as usual and the president smiles almost unperceivably to himself

"It's very charming" I look up in question and he smiles again "that you acknowledge them" he clarifies

"The avoxes?"

"You know they're here to serve, they do not require thanks"

"Habit I suppose"

"Yes, it is refreshing, having someone refined win the games" it takes more effort then it should for me to swallow the small chunk of apple I'd been chewing "Victors aren't usually the sort one would invite to lunch" he chuckles "they lack a certain ... understanding"

"Which is?" I ask before thinking "forgive me, my curiosity often gets the better of me"

"It's quite alright Miss Undersee. I was merely pointing out that as a mayors daughter you have an understanding other citizens don't" he dabs at his mouth with a napkin "an understanding of what one might compare to the food chain. An understanding that some people exist purely to serve a purpose to their superiors" as each of his words sink in my stomach becomes less settled. The president watches me curiously and I realise he is blatantly testing me

"Mr. President, like I've said before. There are things that happen in Panem I don't agree with but that doesn't mean I don't see that their necessary"

"Miss Undersee do you know how I became president?"

"No" I lie. I'm one of the few who knows exactly how he became president, knows the people he killed and the methods he used

"Well my dear, the unfortunate thing is ... sometimes you have to do bad things for the good of the country"

"I know that"

"But you don't approve?"

"That's not really important is it?"

"But you see it is. I like to surround myself with honest people and being president makes that very difficult"

"I can imagine" I agree, trying not to smile at the irony

"I'd like you to visit the Capitol much more often Miss Undersee" I think of Finnick and his visits to the Capitol

"Of course"

"Excellent! I'm expecting a visitor any minute who's talked about nothing but meeting you since you won the games" Now? I thought at least I'd have some time to get used to the ides, to talk to Finnick, anything! Dread fills my stomach as a door opposite the one we entered swings open and pure relief washes over me when a little girl I'd know anywhere bounds into the room "hello Darling" the president croons, lifting his granddaughter on to his knee "Miss Undersee this is-"

"Abigail" I cut in "it's lovely to meet you" I smile, reaching over to shake the little girls hand. She's sweet looking but then most little girls are. She has her grandfathers narrow eyes and she looks at me like I imagine she looks at a new doll

"You're prettier than Cashmere but she's still my favourite" I smile in the hopes it hides my surprise, grateful when an avox brings in a box of candy for the girl. I never thought I could think ill of a child but Abigail Snow is by far the most pretentious, annoying human being I've ever met. I smile and laugh and plait her hair when she demands it but when the message comes that the train to District 12 is ready to leave the president doesn't postpone it as Abigail asks. Instead he walks me to what would be considered the main entrance and helps me into my coat himself

"Alias Clarke has requested to meet with me tomorrow"

"In regards to me?"

"Yes. What would you have me tell him?"

"I wouldn't have you tell him anything Mr. President but in the event he should raise his offer, I'm still willing to match it"

"So be it" the president chuckles "but Miss Undersee ... you can't make a counter offer for every admirer. Have a safe trip home now" with that he's gone and I'm ushered outside feeling as though the life has left my body. Swarms of people surround the mansion gates and the barriers don't hold them back as my car leaves the grounds. They call my name, they're clapping and some even cry. I still can't move.

"How was it?" Effie asks carefully

"Fine" I murmur

"What was it about Madge?"

"He - his granddaughter wanted to meet me"

"Oh thank goodness, very rare anything good comes out of a visit" no shit Effie "will you be alright? On the train, on your own?"

"It's not like I have much of a choice anyway is it Effie"

"I suppose not" she dips her head and gives my hand a tentative pat "these are for Darius, it's not much but it's something" I take the familiar bundle made up of scrap notes and tuck it into the pocket inside my coat "be safe Madge" she says as the car pulls to a stop

"You too Effie".

The train ride back is no different except at some point I actually fall asleep, as usual though I'm woken by a nightmare this time after drowning in my own blood.

The District is once again silent when I arrive back. Even the shady characters and the drunks are sleeping by now so I make my way through town, grateful the thick suede boots, lined with fur, Portia sent back with me are capable of silent treads. For an awful moment I worry I left the notes from Effie in the pocket of that red coat, which is packed and on it's way beck to the Capitol to be stored at Cinna's. I grasp at the pockets of the coat I'm wearing in a blind panic and sigh in relief when I feel the stack against my hip only to startle again when a voice breaks the silence

"You alright there?" Gale Hawthorne crosses the street without a sound, his treads even more silent than my own

"I'm fine"

"Heading home?"

"To Victor's Village yes"

"Would you like some company?" I shrug

"It's late"

"It is"

"Why are you out?"

"Why not?" I sigh, there'll be no more effort on my part "sorry" he smiles "I was at HQ" he whispers mockingly

"You aren't taking this very seriously"

"Sorry"

"You keep apologising"

"Sorry" he grins, I just continue to stare out at the dark path ahead of us "are you alright?" I roll my eyes "hey" he touches my arm

"Shouldn't you be getting home?"

"Not quite" he shakes his head slightly "you want to talk about it?"

"What?"

"The Capitol? Haymitch said the president sent for you" the next breath I take shudders in my throat and I feel my eyes sting with tears

"I got these from Effie" I take out the notes as we cross the gates into Victor's Village and he nods. I look up at the empty house I'm supposed to sleep in tonight and see myself drenched in blood standing in the windows as if to greet me "do you want to come in?"

"I should get home" he grimaces, I nod to mask my disappointment and hand him the stack of notes. I had wanted to read them but I'd probably have to go in to town to get them to Darius and it's just not worth it

"Give those to Darius would you"

"Sure, night Madge"

"Night" I close the door and stand in the empty hall, just basking in the darkness. I eye the stares then the kitchen and decide on the latter in the hopes there's something to drink in the pantry. All I can find is antiseptic rubbing alcohol from the medicine box in one of the cupboards, I've seen Haymitch drink worse so I take the bottle upstairs with me and climb in to the last of the beds I haven't slept in yet. The others are stiff with dry sweat and I haven't found the will to change them.

I take four swigs from the bottle and leave it on the bedside table while I change, I come back and I take two more before climbing into bed.


	27. Chapter 27

It's not until my vision starts blurring I realise my mistake. Haymitch has been desperate over the years but never desperate enough to drink rubbing alcohol. How could I be so stupid?

I'm a little lightheaded as I rush downstairs and disorientated as I try to cross the courtyard to Haymitch's. When I reach his porch steps I curl over and gag but nothing comes up. The collision causes sharp shooting pains in my wrists but I stay hunched over in an attempt to bring the rubbing alcohol back up. The exertion makes my eyes roll into the back of my head and my arms give out. As I fall face down on the steps vomit fills my mouth and someone takes a hold of me by my waist. Gale Hawthorne turns me over in his arms and I manage to gargle that it's alcohol poisoning before I pass out.

I wake in my own living room. Katniss, Prim and their mother are here, along with Haymitch, Darius and Gale. They all eye me with pitiful looks, except Darius and Haymitch who take it in turns to hell at me. They think I tried to kill myself. That drinking the rubbing alcohol was a desperate attempt to escape my grief.

"I didn't" I tell Katniss as she brings me a glass of water. It's all I've been allowed since Mrs. Everdeen pumped my stomach and set up an intravenous drip. Katniss frowns "Katniss I would never"

"It's understandable Madge"

"I didn't Katniss, I swear"

"I think you should rest" when she walks away dread settles in my stomach and I throw up again.

I sleep a lot but never for more than an hour at a time. Each time I wake up from a nightmare someone different is there and every time I try to convince them it wasn't a suicide attempt. None of them believe me until I wake to Gale

"I don't believe you want to die Madge, I don't ... but you're not healthy. Something has to change, maybe ... leaving the house more?"

"I can't" I shake my head but barely have the energy to control it

"Interacting with people?" tears wet my cheeks as I shake my head again "just come in to town with me, just once, maybe see your father?" I look down at my hands and pick at my nails

"I can laugh and fake a smile in the Capitol Gale but I don't want to have to do it at home"

"Then don't fake anything. No one is going to judge you, no one expects anything from you. You have no reason to hide here"

"I hate the way they look at me" I admit

"People have always looked at you Undersee"

"It's different. Before it was just glances now they watch me. It's like I'm an animal in a cage and they're waiting for me to snap or- or attack"

"You've changed their perception of you Madge, that's all. You're not the mayors daughter anymore" I sniff back tears and lift my gaze just slightly "what do you say? One day next week?" I stay enthralled by the skin peeling around my nails and pick at it until it stings "Please Madge" he murmurs. Hesitantly I nod and he smiles, giving my blanket clad leg a pat "that's my girl" the words cause my breath to catch. For the first time since the games I remember the girl I used to be. A rebel and a fighter but still a girl. A girl infatuated with a boy who would've given anything to hear him say those words.

It's the first time I feel anything normal, something other than terror or anger or guilt. It's the first real emotion that hasn't left me exhausted and it's the first step in finally starting to heal so I cling to it.

They still refuse to leave me alone. No matter how many times I reason that it wasn't an attempt on my life, that I just got desperate and wasn't thinking straight. They won't hear it so Darius stays the night at my house, making himself a bed from spare blankets on the floor beside the sofa I'm set up on. No one said anything but they must've seen the state on the bedrooms. Haymitch at least had to have when he went to find the bottle of rubbing alcohol. It'd been his only argument, when I first began insisting I wasn't suicidal he'd tossed it at me and the bottle had landed in my lap, not even a quarter empty. I'd pointed out if I'd wanted to kill myself I would've consumed the entire thing but that just convinced them I had in fact been thinking about it and I gave up for a while.

I listen to Darius' steady breaths next to me and I feel physical pain in my stomach as I remember the way he'd looked at me. So full of pity and disappointment. I've missed him so much, he's my best friend, I haven't seen him in weeks and this is how we are reunited. I can't bare the thought of him thinking me so weak, so ready to give up everything we've worked for so I turn on to my side

"Darius?"

"Madge" his tone is clipped, too serious for his menacing personality. It's like a blow to the gut

"You know me. Can you actually say you believe I'd do that?" he sighs and squeezes his eyes shut in a grimace

"I do know you Madge ... and no I don't believe you ever would have done that" relief washes over me until he continues "but you aren't you right now"

"Darius" I plead, the hurt and betrayal evident in my voice

"I understand -"

"No you don't" I snap "you very clearly don't!" I breath deeply, releasing the anger that's built up "you" I grit "are like a brother to me ... and Haymitch is practically a second father. How could you possibly understand what it's like to know that the people you rely on and trust most in this world do not trust you in return" when he doesn't say anything it frustrates me further and I stand up, the blanket falling around my feet "do you really think so little of me? Of my commitment to my duty, our cause, my commitment to you and everything you've sacrificed towards this" as I catch my breath a satisfied grin spreads across Darius' face and I frown "what?!" I demand

"Welcome back" in one quick move Darius is on his feet and pulling me towards him "I missed you so much" he whispers as he squeezes me "mwah" he emphasises the sound as he places a kiss on my head and squeezes once more "now go to sleep and don't be freaked out if I'm not here in the morning. Don't want anyone getting suspicious"

"Or the wrong idea" I add, laying back on the sofa "night Darius"

"Night Madge. It's good to have you back".

Darius is gone when I wake the following morning. A fact which I am grateful for when I realise my sweat has soaked through my clothes and now hangs in the air with a rancid smell. The realisation that my house is starting to smell worse than Haymitch's is enough to make me rethink how I've been living and I spend the morning washing bed sheets and linens. I open every window in the house in order to circulate the air and get rid of the smell of stale sweat. When the nausea residing from the alcohol poisoning becomes more than a nuisance I try to settle it with a glass of water. It doesn't work and for the first time in weeks I give in to my stomach and eat a relatively proper meal of dry toast and weak tea.

When there's a knock on the door a little after midday I startle but manage to catch my tea cup before it hits the ground.

"Gale? What're you doing here?"

"I didn't want to give you time to change your mind"

"You want me to go into town? Now?"

"Why not?"

"I haven't showered"

"I've got time" he quips.

I take my sweet time in the shower, I lather, rinse and repeat twice then just stand under the water for a while hoping maybe he'll get bored and leave

"I'm not going anywhere" he calls through the bathroom door, as if reading my mind

"Sure, come on upstairs" I shout back sarcastically

"Figured you wouldn't mind" he chuckles

"Sure, take a look around, help yourself to anything in the kitchen" I add even more sarcastically.

When I finally leave the safety of the bathroom I find Gale in the closet of the master bedroom, with an apple in his mouth

"Can I help you?" I ask, arching a brow though his back is to me

"No, I helped myself ... like you said" when he turns he loses the grip his teeth had on the apple and begins to choke on the piece left in his mouth "Undersee you're naked" he mumbles wiping his mouth

"I have a towel on" I point out, amused

"Yeah but underneath" he shrugs

"Sorry are you not naked under your clothes?" I quip, he doesn't answer "could I have some privacy?" he awkwardly shuffles past me and stands around the corner from the closet while I change

"Make sure you dress warm, it's quite nippy out" Gale calls so I swap the long sleeved cotton shirt I was holding for a vest and a woollen jumper. I pair it with fitted denim trousers, a winter coat lined with fur and my hunting boots, lined with yet more fur "are you ready?" he asks when I emerge, not that I think my answer would make a difference to him

"Let's just get this over with".


	28. Chapter 28

Walking to town is relatively quiet, we only pass a handful of people and most just stare from the corner of their eye. One nods at Gale, then me out of courtesy I assume but other than that I'm basically ignored. Until we get closer to town. The more people there are, the more freely they stare and by the time we reach the square everyone is watching. They don't start whispering until we've passed but that doesn't mean I don't hear the hissing noises

"Gale I can't do this" I say moving slightly closer to him

"Nonsense, we're over half way there"

"Gale" I pull him to a stop as I struggle to breath and my heart beats so fast my pulse is thrumming in my ears

"Madge look at me" his voice is distorted and sounds distant "Madge" he holds my shoulders and forces my gaze to meet his "it's not real. Focus on what's real. You're okay, you're in 12, I've got you" I catch my breath all of a sudden and cough as it goes down "You're safe, you're home, I'm here" his hands slide up my neck and come to hold my jaw. I breath in, I breath out, I calm down "there we go" he strokes my hair and his hands land on my shoulders again "much better"

"Thanks"

"Don't mention it, are you alright?" I nod "Come on then" he gestures towards my old home with a tilt of his head. When we reach the fence surrounding the perfectly manicured garden Gale doesn't follow me through the gate "I have some things to do in town, I'll come back in an hour?"

"Oh alright" I nod, flustered

"Is that long enough?"

"An hour will be fine"

"Alright then, I'll see you in an hour"

"In an hour" I agree "Thank you"

"It was my pleasure Madge".

I reach the front door before I realise my father won't even be home. He'll be working in the justice building and I turn to find Gale has already gone. I turn back to the house and knock the door anyway, it is opened by a maid I don't recognise and I panic

"I'm Madge" I blurt "can I come in?"

"I know who you are Miss Undersee, please come in. Can I get you anything?"

"No thank you, I just come to collect some things from my old rom"

"Of course" she smiles "let me know if you need any help" and then she's gone and I'm back in the grand entrance of my childhood home, it feels like I've never been here before.

It's a few minutes before I venture further than the entrance and I actually go up to my old room. I find a bag and pack few trinkets so I didn't necessarily lie to the new maid. I wander around the space, picking up things I barely recognise anymore, I flip through school books I don't even recognise as my own and sift through clothes I could swear I've never seen. When that gets too much I cross the corridor to my fathers office.

I've never known the door to be locked but it still surprises me when I turn the handle and the door swings open. My father never hid anything from me while I was here. He never stopped trying to change my mind about the games but he knew it was inevitable and wanted me to be prepared I suppose. On the desk there are a few rogue sheets of paper but nothing like the clutter I'm used to.

The first sheet I pick up is a notification on the delay of this months supply train, the second, a letter regarding the upcoming harvest festival. I don't get more than a few lines in before 'm startled by a loud whimper and then a pitiful cry of pain. Guilt overcomes me like a tidal wave and I stagger backwards, falling in to a bookcase. I had forgotten my mother, my own mother. I've been so consumed with myself I forgot I had a sick mother, bedridden by the only illness the capitol hasn't found a cure for. I haven't even asked my father about her. I had completely forgotten her existence, like she wasn't even here, like she had died.

I push gently on her bedroom door, knowing even the smallest of sounds can ensue agony.

She is lifeless, if it weren't for her laboured breaths I'd think her dead. Her skin is sagging and sickly, her features gaunt and her bones protruding. There's a needle in her arm and the skin is so thin I can see the morphling being pumped in to her system. It'll keep her in this state for days sometimes but every time it wears off the following episode is worse. The first time I'd seen it I was terrified. I'd heard her groans from my room and carefully crept over to the door, she'd been curled up and shaking. Then as if possessed, her back had arched and her limbs flailed like they had mind of their own, she'd been screaming and I'd been knocked to the floor as my father and the butler at the time had rushed in to restrain her. That was also the first time I saw the effect of the morphling. I have never forgotten the way her thrashing slowed to small shivers or how her eyeballs rolled around in her head before she slumped back on the bed.

I'd been frozen in terror until my father scooped me up and carried me to the bathroom where he washed my knee, cut from the fall and placed a bandage and a kiss on the injury.

"Is mummy going to die?" I'd asked, naïve and unsure of what dying really was at the age of four

"Not if I can help it" he'd murmured then sighed "your mother is very ill Madge, she's in a lot of pain and when someone is in a lot of pain sometimes it's better for them to die" recalling it now, it was a rather morbid thing to tell a child

"Is it better for mummy to die then? If she is hurt?"

"I don't know Madge, I've been asking myself that question for a while now. I don't like that your mother is in pain but I have hope" I'd tilted my head, with no idea what that meant "I have hope that one day I'll have the opportunity to get your mother medicine, proper medicine that will make her better ... and then she'll play with you in the garden" he said in a much lighter tone "and she'll play with you and your dolls" he'd said ruffling my hair "and she'll tickle you until you can't laugh anymore" I'd giggled as he tickled my ribs and blown a raspberry on my cheek. He'd never spoken to me as most people do a child, I was always treated as an equal and I've always been grateful of it. It meant I understood the way adults around me spoke and I picked up on things no ordinary child would. Ultimately it's how I became who I am.

I sit at her bedside for almost the entire hour, hoping maybe she'll stir and I can speak to her but I know it's unlikely and I'm not surprised when she doesn't. On my way out I pass the parlour and catch a glimpse of my piano. It sits there in the still room beautiful but like everything else in this house, lifeless. I take a step towards the glass panelled double doors then change my mind. Something about it seems wrong, that I should even attempt to create music with the same hands I've killed with. I feel like I'd mar the keys with blood so I carry on past the doors without a second look.

Gale meets me at the fence in the exact spot we parted, exactly an hour after leaving, just like he said. When we reach town the stares aren't any different and Gale must notice because he makes quite the effort to distract me. When we return to Victor's Village I'm exhausted, emotionally at least

"Same time tomorrow?" Gale asks, only it's not so much a question as it is a clarification. I don't have time to argue before he's shaking his head "I'm not taking no for an answer"

"Fine" I sigh, I haven't got the energy to argue anymore. He leaves with a smug grin on his face and I go inside, hoping beyond hope that I can climb in to bed and get a semi restful sleep. Only when I go in to the kitchen for a snack I'm greeted by a letter perched on the island in the centre of the kitchen.


	29. Chapter 29

I'm going back to the Capitol. That's what the letter says. It's put eloquently in the form of an invitation but it's a summons, that much is obvious. I wonder if this was how it started for Finnick, a letter on fine stationary and I wonder how long it took for it to become inevitable. Was it gradually over the years or was it within weeks? He's in the Capitol every week now, for photoshoots or televised events. It kills me to know what is actually happening to him while he's there.

I'm surprised and endlessly grateful when my visit is no different to the last. I simply have lunch with the president, this time in a grand dining room far too large for two people. There is frost on the ground and you can sense the coming snowfall. Even in the best winter clothes, Portia dresses me in, I'm cold to my core. When I make it back to the train that afternoon I'm in shock almost. I had been expecting so much worse. I had been expecting- I don't even want to think about what I was expecting.

My trips to the Capitol become much more frequent. It's the same every time, Cinna's then the president's mansion for lunch, sometimes Abigail is there, sometimes she's not but every time - without fail, Alias Clarke has raised his offer. And every time I counter it. My visits are never televised as Victors technically aren't supposed to return to the Capitol until the victory tour. That doesn't mean people don't start swarming the train station and eventually it's easier to have Portia and my prep team meet me on the train.

Then I'm in the Capitol so often even that becomes difficult and they are replaced by the team I had when I first arrived back in 12, Marcelia, Lucia and Lavinia. Lavinia and I converse through smiles while the other two chat and after a few trips she begins to sing to me, well hum but it becomes a comfort and we form a sort of silent friendship, not unlike to the one I had with Katniss. Effie is a constant, she's there with me on the rides to and from the mansion and we are always driven by Castor. He makes crude jokes that Effie throws hissy fits over, I like him.

After only a month the president starts calling me Madeline, he asks my opinion on everything from whether or not a certain rose in his greenhouse smells sweet enough to whether or not he should have Abigail educated in politics. And eventually he confides in me as well, he no longer simply asks for my opinion but gives me his. He tells me one or more of his advisors are plotting against him, he tells me that his physician is taking bribes, he tells me he had him killed. He tells me about the Quarter Quell.

"You'll meet Plutarch Heavensbee here. When your victory tour comes to an end" it's half true. I've never actually met Plutarch but I have communicated with him for years and Haymitch did years before that. I wouldn't know the man in a crowd but I'd know him instantly if we spoke

"He's to be head gamemaker?"

"Yes. He had retired from it, a number of years ago now. But insisted I let him come back for the Quell"

"Insisted?"

"He never became anything more than a gamesman before he retired but he has extraordinary vision and a rather ... vivid imagination. He's exactly what we need for the Quell"

"Has the rule change been decided yet?"

"No my dear Madeline, that is one thing not even I know. The rules for each Quell were written years ago and can only be accessed the year they are to be fulfilled by the Head Gamemaker"

"I didn't know that. Surely as the president you could choose"

"Of course. But I have no reason nor desire to change the games"

"So it's as much a surprise for you as it is everyone else?"

"You could say that yes, not that I'm overly keen on surprises"

"We share that" I laugh lightly

"Your districts harvest festival is coming up I believe?"

"Yes, though it's really not much of a celebration"

"Well as the home of our latest victor it might be different this year. A surprise you might say. Many capitol citizens have requested to visit the district for the celebration"

"Why would they want to do that? I love District 12 but it's a far cry from the Capitol and that's coming from someone who's used to it" the president chuckles

"Yes that is a valid point but the people want what the people want so I have arranged for some changes to be made"

"Changes?"

"More improvements I suppose. Mr. Clarke has volunteered to orchestrate the process"

"Of course he has" the president smiles in amusement

"He's very persistent"

"As am I" I will not be bought like a prize, especially by a smarmy slime ball like Alias Clarke

"I know that Madeline, it's one of your most admirable qualities ... however eventually I am going to be forced to make a decision"

"I see"

"And Mr. Clarke has made a very interesting offer"

"I'd like to know what exactly he is offering"

"A list"

"A list? Of what?"

"It's merely a formality at the minute. Lunch is ready" I follow the president numbly. There's no avoiding it now, he's going to sell me, and to Alias Clarke at that. As usual the president walks me out and as I have come to expect his parting words leave me reeling. This visit is no exception as this message hits me harder than any other

"I wouldn't worry Madeline, if anything flattered. Your virtue is currently priced higher than the young Finnick O'dair's was".

Gale and I continue to take walks in to town, sometimes I sit at my mother's bedside, and sometimes we distribute my winnings around town by buying things I don't necessarily need. It takes a long time to convince Gale to take things home with him but he does when I mention his family. When his mother finds out she invites me to the harvest festival with them the following week. As Victor it's compulsory I attend but I had planned on leaving as soon as possible. Eventually I concede when I remember Alias Clarke is going to be lurking around and Gale beams.

The next day Gale is early, so I answer the door in the thin vest and shorts I slept in. Only when I open the door it's not Gale, not even Haymitch. Alias Clarke looks me up and down and grins salaciously before wagging his eyebrows

"A fine morning, don't you think Madgie?" Madgie?!

"Won't you come in" I mutter sarcastically at his back, already half way to the sitting room

"I'm sure you've heard I'll be in District 12 for a few days"

"I was told yes"

"It'll be a wonderful opportunity for us to spend some time together" he quirks an eyebrow as he lounges on the couch, his pose is threatening and I don't miss that his crotch is thrust forward uncomfortably. He's watching me from hooded eyes and his hand strokes lazily back and forth across the back of the couch "won't that be fun, spending all that time together?" he adds menacingly, shifting and pushing his crotch even further in my direction. I realize perhaps later then I should have, that I've been naïve. As Alias Clarke fidgets around in the space where I sleep I realize, Snow made the deal.


	30. Chapter 30

Traditionally Victors don't do much but sit on the stage at harvest festivals. Given that 12's only victor for years was Haymitch who was absent or drunk if he ever attended I wasn't expecting to do much. Alias Clarke has other ideas, apparently I have duties as the latest victor and I have to prepare for them at his side. He's at my door first thing the next morning with an itinerary as long as my arm, he faffs about a busy day but that doesn't stop him making multiple advances in the time it takes for me to wash, dress and eat.

As home of the latest victor, 12's festival is to be bigger than usual. There's capitol visitors everywhere and many more have been brought in to improve the district. I have to give a speech, mostly about how grateful we are to the capitol. By midday I have to excuse myself because it's becoming too much and I put my head down through town as I hurry home.

Before I even reach Victor's Village I'm aware of someone following me and when I get the chance to glance over my shoulder I catch a glimpse of Alias. I could have sworn I'd ditched him back at the Justice Building but he's far enough behind that I can get to Haymitch's without him seeing and following me there. Only Haymitch isn't there and for the first time, in very likely forever, his front door is locked.

I jog across the courtyard and make it inside right as he calls my name. I have about fifteen seconds before he lets himself in, where do I go? The door thuds behind me and I cringe

"Madge" he calls through the door "we have to go through some things. Madge I know you're in there" I don't answer and the next time he speaks there's anger in his tone "I saw you go in there. Now open the door" the door bangs like he might've kicked it and my heart rate speeds up "open the door!" when he tries the handle and realises it's not locked I take up my usual defensive stance and breath out through my mouth to steady my breathing. The door is open a few inches when it stops

"Can I help you?" Alias asks with an air of superiority

"Can I help you?" Gale growls back. He's going to get himself in trouble

"Just who are you?"

"Why were you kicking her door?"

"That's none of your business"

"I think you'll find it is"

"I remember you, you're the boy from before. You stole her away at the party"

"I removed her from a horrible situation" and that's when I open the door and step in between them

"Gale, hello are you ready to go?" I say looping my arm through his to turn him away from Alias "Alias, I wasn't expecting you, shouldn't you be at the justice building"

"I-"

"Lots of work to be done I'm sure. I'll see you later"

"Yes - yes alright" I wave over my shoulder and tug Gale's arm so we're walking faster

"What was all that about?"

"Nothing he's in charge of all the arrangements for the harvest festival"

"That doesn't explain why he was beating your door down. Was he getting handsy again?" Gale asks, turning as if to go back

"No, no he's just - hard to get rid of"

"I'll say. He's following us"

"Hells teeth. He's driving me insane" Gale smirks when I curse and I roll my eyes

"Down here, quick" Gale darts down an alley similar to the one where HQ is hidden and then another so we're at the far end of town, heading toward the seam

"Where are we going?"

"My house"

"What?"

"That is, if you want to"

"I don't want to intrude like that"

"Don't be stupid" it's his turn to roll his eyes "besides I promised my sister I'd say hi for her. Now she can tell you herself"

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure".

Walking through the seam is not what it's made out to be. Yes it's dirty and infinitely more grey than the town but it's freeing. The air is thick with coal dust but no one stares, well, a group of children playing in the street do but not in the way I thought they would. They whisper with an air of excitement rather than the suspicion I've become used to.

"Gale!" A small boy separates from the group and runs towards us. He's adorable, with thick chocolate, rather than the usual black, locks that curl around his neck and ears. He smiles widely which shows off two small gaps where his bottom front teeth should be. There's a small tear in his shirt and smudges of dirt on his cheek clothes and knees. He looks exactly as a kid should.

"Hey Vick" Gale tousles his hair and the boy frowns, for the few seconds his brow is furrowed he looks like his brother, I can see it clearly now but then the creases smooth out and he's Vick again "this is Madge" Vick looks at me through narrowed eyes and I see a hint of the suspicion I'd been expecting

"You won the games?" he asks, more suspicion in his tone. A swallow thickly and nod

"Yes ... I did"

"You don't look like I thought you would"

"Oh?"

"You look ... nice" he shrugs and kicks a lump of mud. I can feel Gale grinning beside me

"Thank you Vick" he nods and a small weight falls from my head

"You coming home?" Gale asks him, the younger Hawthorne glances over his shoulder at the group of children he'd been playing with and nods "come on then" Vick quickly falls in to step beside his brother although he has to take three steps to match one of Gale's in order to keep up.

We walk quietly, down just one street, before Vick sprints off ahead and hurdles a set of porch steps in to what I can only describe as a large shed. A window on the front of the house is boarded up, the first step on the porch is broken and the front door doesn't quite fit the frame but even from across the street I can see the glow. Love and contentment surround the house like an ora. The excited voices of children can be heard and a delicious aroma of something gamey can be smelt to spite the coal dust

"It's not -" I face Gale to find his head bowed and jaw clenched "it's nothing special. You don't have to come in" I look back at the house, the front door still open and inviting

"It's beautiful Gale" he scoffs "really. I can - I can feel it from here" this time he looks at me, the beginnings of a frown forming "if you stood across the street from my old house, where my parents live. You'd see a grand house, maybe someone lives there, maybe someone doesn't. You wouldn't hear a sound nor would you feel any other signs of life. Stood here, looking across at where you live, I see a home. I feel the warmth of a family and the happiness you give each other" when I look away from the house, Gale isn't frowning, he's just staring. He doesn't understand, he doesn't understand that I see more than a structure of wood and tin because he's never known any different

"Let's go. By the smell of it dinner's ready".


	31. Chapter 31

I've never been more blown away by anything then I am by Posy Hawthorne. From the moment she first smiles at me I am rendered speechless. From her lopsided pigtails to her tiny delicate hands I am besotted by her. When her mother, Hazelle as I have been instructed to call her, tells Posy to give me some space the little girl only clambers in to my lap and folds her arms across her chest. I don't mind, I tell Hazelle so and the woman smiles warmly, shaking her head at the youngest Hawthorne and returning to the kitchen, or rather the other side of the room.

Posy's behaviour seems to make Vick more comfortable and after a while, he too joins us on the threadbare couch. With Gale's large frame, Vick is forced to squeeze in to the tiny gap in the middle but he doesn't seem to mind. He asks me question after question about everything from trains to politics he shouldn't have a clue about and I quickly fall in love with his inquisition. They take it in turns to ask me things, Vick asks about the Capitol and Posy asks about dresses. Their voices blend together and it's the most wonderful chaos.

When the front door swings open and the boy I can only assume is Rory strolls in he doesn't even notice the stranger on the couch. For five whole minutes he carries on as he usually would, drinking from the tap in the kitchen, taking off his shoes. It's only when he begins to take his dirty shirt off that Gale clears his throat and then it takes him another ten seconds to spot me

"Has she been there the whole time?" he asks, his eyes as wide as saucers. Gale nods, an amused grin tugging at his lips. Rory looks to his mother for confirmation, she also nods

"Madge is staying for dinner" Vick chirps and Rory's eyes dart over to me

"Hello"

"Hello" I smile, holding back laughter

"You're Madge Undersee" he's stammers putting his arms back into his shirt

"Yes"

"You're famous"

"I am?"

"I thought Gale was lying when he said you were dating" I don't miss the smirk Rory shoots Gale before he can stammer an explanation

"I said we've been hanging out" Gale offers quickly "Rory just has a one track mind" he says reaching towards his younger brother and punching him lightly in the thigh

"Oww!"

"Boys" Hazelle warns "dinner's ready, set the table"

"I can do that" I offer quickly

"No we'll do it" Gale says pulling me back onto the couch

"I'd like to help"

"Me too" Posy bounces excitedly

"Madge darling would you like to stay?" Hazelle chuckles "I've never seen my children argue over setting the table before" I feel my cheeks heat and carry Posy over to the table where she places the plates Gale hands to me. As I move around the table with her I feel Gale's eyes on me and can't help but feel I might have overstayed my welcome. Then I see Hazelle watching Gale watching me and I feel even more self conscious.

After dinner Gale walks me back to Victor's Village. I don't notice how late it is until it starts to get dark and I realise I spent the best part of the day with the Hawthorne's and I was actually happy

"Thank you, for today"

"I'm sorry it was so ... full on. The kids I'm used to them, I forget they can be too much for anyone else"

"What? Are you crazy, they're amazing" he smiles at his boots

"Yeah, they are aren't they"

"Today was the first time I've really felt normal in a long time. It was really nice"

"I enjoyed it too. Maybe we can do it more?"

"I'd like that"

"Great. They really liked you, I've never seen them take to anyone like that"

"I thought they'd be scared of me"

"I don't know why you think you're some sort of monster"

"I killed people Gale. I killed kids"

"You did what you had to"

"I didn't have to kill them, I didn't have to go in, they did not have to die by my hands"

"But they would've died and if you hadn't gone in Prim would have" I'd forgotten about Prim, she is after all the reason I volunteered early. I couldn't just let her die, couldn't let Katniss die when she volunteered because she would've. Katniss may have had a shot at winning but she'd never be the same, part of her would've died there. I'd been trained for the games and everything after but no one could've ever prepared me for this really, whether I'd had those extra two years or not

"It may have spared Prim but others still died. They were just scared kids, even the careers, they were just doing as they were told"

"Madge" he stops me and takes a hold of my shoulders "you did what you had to. Those kids didn't deserve to die but it's not your fault they did. Because of you hundreds, thousands of children in the future won't fear their 12th birthday, they won't have to worry about where their next meal is coming from or if tonight's the night it'll be cold enough that you won't wake up the next morning" I look deeper in to his eyes and realise he's not talking about any kid, anywhere in Panem he's taking this from memory. He's worried about these very things, still worries about them. His expression is stoic but his eyes say everything, he's scared. Not for himself if I was going to guess but for his family and their futures.

I hug him, I twine my arms around his waist and I bury my head in his chest. Partly because I don't know how he'll react but mostly because if I cry I don't want him to see it. It's hesitant but eventually his hands come to rest on my back and he pulls me closer

"I want you to know" he murmurs, his breath stirring the hairs at the top of my head "I never hated you" I choke on my laughter and the thickness in my throat and pull away from his embrace

"If you say so"

"I didn't. I know I wasn't ... nice. Okay I was a total ass"

"Yup" I nod. I only remember it being so much worse than anyone else because I was infatuated with him. I suppose under all the guilt and hate I still am

"I didn't hate you though"

"Gale let's not do this. Whether you did or not it's the past now"

"I didn't. Resented maybe but never hated"

"Past is still the past Gale. We're friends now right?" I ask as we reach my house

"Right" he smiles "I'll see you at the festival?"

"Okay" I linger at my front door, I have a feeling there's more he wants to say, or maybe that I have something to say "thank you ... again ... for today"

"Thank you" I freeze as Gale bends forward and places a swift kiss on my cheek "I'll see you tomorrow" he murmurs, the brush of his lips still burning my skin.


	32. Chapter 32

I refuse to sit on the stage, especially when I see who I'd be sitting by. Instead Haymitch and I argue that we should be in the crowd, amongst the citizens. I have to skip my daily walk with Gale because I'm kept busy rehearsing my speech and then when I'm ordered to return home to get ready.

I'm relieved when I find Lavinia running me a bath and cross the room to embrace her. She smiles widely and rubs my back when I reach her. It's strange how much I've missed her. My mood is dampened when the other two bustle into the room, teetering precariously on stilettos. The bath isn't as relaxing as it's supposed to be. Once my hair is washed, conditioned and treated they start pulling at my limbs to buff and polish and slap on all manner of lotions. When I'm out of the tub it's not much better, Lucia doesn't have the delicate hands Portia or Lavinia or Flavius do and she struggles with the complicated style Mr. Clarke himself chose. After what feels like an eternity she's grunting in frustration and my scalp is bloody

"Lavinia" I call, looking at her in the mirror "maybe you should take over while Lucia and Marcelia treat themselves to the champagne in the kitchen" they're out of the room before she even agrees and I sigh in relief. Lavinia picks up the picture of the hairstyle Lucia was trying to replicate and wrinkles her nose at it "awful isn't it" her lips curl up and she tries to hide her expression but eventually she nods and giggles "what do you think?" she takes out the tab and chalk hidden in a pouch on her thigh and scribbles something quickly

'Something more natural?'

"Have you seen my dress?" I ask, I've been trying not to think about what monstrosity Alias will have picked out but it's time to face the music. She nods again and grimaces "that bad?" she nods, this time more sympathetically

'Revealing' she writes on the tablet

"Want to help me pick out something else?" she grins and wipes off her tablet when she turns it around again I can't help but laugh

'I thought you'd never ask'.

Between the two of us we decide on a dress I didn't even know I had. It sits off the shoulder and the sleeves stop above my wrists where it's a shimmering gold, the rest of it that hangs straight but clings in the right places, is a dark bronze, perfect for harvest.

At the top of the stairs I can hear voices coming from the kitchen, one of them being Alias, and I groan audibly

"He's like a nasty stain you just can't get rid of" I murmur under my breath, Lavinia bites her lip to keep from smiling "suppose I should get this over with".

When I enter the kitchen Marciela and Lucia share a look which gets Alias' attention

"This isn't what I wanted" he snaps "where is her dress? Why isn't she wearing it?"

"She is more than capable of dressing herself" I interrupt, both insulted and feeling the need to defend my prep team

"I had your wardrobe picked out"

"This is more appropriate" I argue

"It's quite charming that you think that" he smiles and I very nearly punch him in the face

"I have attended this festival every year of my life, I think I have a better understanding of how things are done here" I turn away from him dismissively as he stammers "perhaps your opinions on wardrobe would be greater appreciated back in the capitol" I close the front door behind me and there's a beat of silence before Lavinia and I turn to each other and laugh "would you like to come to the festival with me?" she nods then takes out her tablet

'But I can't, it isn't allowed'

"Would be nice to have you there"

'Next time' she smiles

"Next time" I agree.

Haymitch and I take the walk in to town together, we use it to discuss all I have missed since I'm still not able to go to headquarters. Apparently not much has changed but it is harder to get information from the capitol now. He doesn't have to say it, I know I'll have to go to the capitol even more and it'll only get worse after the victory tour

"I'm sorry Hon', if I could go I would but they don't want me there"

"It's alright Haymitch, we knew this would happen right? We hoped for it"

"It's different now it's happening"

"It may end all this even sooner than we hope" I shrug

"Madge"

"Yes Haymitch"

"You look lovely".

Apparently me becoming victor not only means food parcels for the district but more money being wasted on pointless things like decorations. It's maddening, there are garlands everywhere and whilst pretty, coupled with fairy lights, I can't help being angry that the money wasn't spent on food or fuel for those who need it. What makes it worse is that it's more for the benefit of the capitol people who are attending.

They stand out in their sickly colours and bizarre clothing even though there's only a small number f them. Most of them already drunk and obnoxiously loud, they've congregated near the stage where a private seating area has been set up. Idiots.

It's been a long time since I saw this many people in the square for something that wasn't mandatory and I don't think it's ever seen an atmosphere quite like this. 12's citizens ignore the capitol socialites and take the opportunity to enjoy themselves. In the far corner of the square a band made up of men from both the town and seam play upbeat music. Nearby there's a small group dancing, children race around, darting through the crowd, some with ribbons streaming out behind them. Vendors surround the square selling cider and spiced wine, Mr. Mellark hands out free cookies when his wife isn't looking. I see Haymitch heading for the stall with the longest queue, the woman from the hob - Sae's stall. I roll my eyes when I see Ripper not so discreetly selling her white liquor from the side of it.

"Princess Madge!" I turn in time for Posy Hawthorne to wrap herself around my legs and almost lose my balance. I'm sure we're both going down and try to work out how I can stop Posy getting hurt in the process when someone catches my arm and holds me steady

"Posy let go of Madge" Gale chuckles, not a hint of seriousness to be found

"Princess?" I arch an eyebrow at him, remembering the way he used to spit that word at me and he shrugs

"She come up with it all on her own"

"I'm sure. Where's everyone else?"

"They're coming" he assures me, glancing over his shoulder "Posy saw you and I figured I should probably run after her" he gestures to his sister who has an arm around each of our legs and she pokes her tongue out at him

"Gale needs a bath" she retorts. I snort and immediately clamp my hand over my mouth, Gale scratches his neck. I turn my head to face Gale and take a deep breath through my nose as if sniffing him, Posy giggles when I wrinkle my nose

"I think you're probably right" I tell her, when in truth Gale smells wonderful. He must have been in the woods this morning because he smells strongly of pine needles and fresh air, who knew fresh air had a scent? There's something musky and smoky too and a masculine scent that's just a little bit sweaty

"Mama says he misses behind his ears"

"I bet he does, boys huh?" I joke rolling my eyes, Posy giggles again

"And there's three in my house"

"Hey Rory, hey Vick" I smile hen I see the rest of the Hawthorne's over her head "Mrs. Hawth- Hazelle" I correct myself

"Hello Madge, are you having fun?"

"I just got here ... but I was about to try some of that cider, if you'd all like to join me?"

"I want to try the cider!" Vick says tugging on his mothers skirt

"Just a sip" she says, stroking his hair.

We make our way through the people gathered in the square until we're on the outskirts, near the dancers

"Gale dance with me" Posy yanks her brother forward a step before he pulls back "pleeease" in a move practiced to perfection, Posy's bottom lip juts out and her eyes seem to double in size

"Fine" joyfully Posy tugs Gale right in to the middle of the space and I watch in surprised awe as he prances around with her. At one point he picks her up and spins with her, their laughter louder than the music and the noise of the crowds.

When they return to us breathless and pink cheeked Gale drops his gaze and smiles bashfully, as if embarrassed by his behaviour. When in fact, it was the most genuine display of real love I've ever seen in my life. Something a lot like longing settles itself in my gut with no signs of moving or diminishing. I find myself watching Gale a lot more after that.


	33. Chapter 33

My speech is worse than to be expected, all about the capitol and the games but I'm told I should address it to the capitol visitors so at least it doesn't feel like I'm patronising the people of 12. When I turn away from the microphone to leave the stage, I see Alias lurking at the side of the stage and I know he's waiting for me so I turn on my heel and hurry off the other side. I try to lose myself in the crowd before he can spot me but everyone clears away from me

"Psst Madge" I spin and realise I'm right in front of the Mellark's stall, how I didn't notice the smell I'll never know "behind here" Peeta and his elder brother Rye point to the cloth covered table at the back of their stall and I duck under it

"Thank you"

"That Capitol guy gives you the creeps huh?" Rye asks

"How did you guess?" I roll my eyes

"He's been watching you all evening. It's a little weird"

"Ugh great. It alright if I hang out here for a while?"

"Sure" he grins with amusement "and Madge"

"Yeah?"

"It's good to see you again"

"You too" I tell him genuinely. I didn't have friends in school, there was only Katniss and we were friends but it was more a quiet companionship than an actual friendship. Darius over the years has become an older brother of sorts and Finnick is in 4, we see each other only on the rarest of occasions, usually in dire circumstances. The Mellark's were always friendly, a trait inherited from their father. They never sneered as some did or bootlicked to get more money out of me, perhaps their mother but never the men. Peeta and I were actually inseparable as children. Before the rebellion and training took up all my time, it was divided equally with him. Naturally that meant being at the bakery a lot and around his brothers often. They teased Peeta and I mercilessly, mainly about us being boyfriend and girlfriend, which we weren't. Ironically it was his older brother Bannock I had my first kiss with

"Madge?" I lift up the curtain of clothe to find Peeta crouched beside the table "here" he holds out a shortbread biscuit, my favourite, especially from Mellark's and I reach for my purse "no, no charge"

"Peeta-"

"They're your favourite"

"They're probably the most expensive biscuit you sell"

"On us" he smiles, the boyish smile he's always had, full of warmth and reassurance

"Alright but I'd like to make a contribution. I have more money then I know what to do with and I'd like to give it back to the district" people very rarely use paper money in 12, no one ever has more than a few coins at a time so when Peeta's eyes bug out as I pull out a wad of bills I'm not surprised

"Madge put that away, someone would kill you for that"

"Here. Divide it between yourselves and the other traders and then you won't have to charge for your goods" I can see Posy from here, she's directly in my line of sight and she looks longingly at the cookies adorning the Mellark stall. She doesn't pull her mother over and demand one like some of the other children do. She understands, even at her young age, that they simply can't afford such things

"Madge we always put some aside to give to the seam kids anyway" of course they do, kindness is in their genes but not everyone is a Mellark

"Rye?" I call "take this and share it between each of the stalls, tell them not to charge anyone for anything, this should cover the cost" his jaw hangs loose when i slap the bills in his hand but he nods and does as I say "can I ask you a favour too Peeta"

"Of course" he chuckles

"That little girl" I point to Posy and notice the Everdeen's have joined the Hawthorne's "near Katniss"

"Katniss?!" he exclaims turning to look over his shoulder, I smile

"Still infatuated I see" he blushes but doesn't disagree

"Yes"

"Does she know?"

"I'm working on it" he smiles which in turn makes me smile. It really is about time

"What was that favour?"

"Could you take a tray of cookies over to them"

"Sure, Bannock should be back any minute" he says referring to his oldest brother

"Peet? Where's Rye?"

"Speaking of" Peeta laughs, turning to his brother

"Madge? Why are you under the table?"

"Nice to see you again Bannock" I laugh "it's a long story"

"I'll be back in a minute" Peeta announces gathering a tray stacked with an array of treats. I watch him approach them and I'm not surprised in the least when not even the children reach for the tray. I see Peeta point back towards the stall and say my name, it takes another minute for them to be convinced but then they pounce. Posy and Vick first, then Prim, Rory and their mothers. To my surprise Gale even takes one, Katniss is the last to, she blushes furiously as Peeta offers her the tray and won't meet his gaze for even a second. When Peeta returns, he's grinning ear to ear "Posy wants to know why you're under the table. I told her you were playing hide and seek"

"Boo!" I jump and swing before I realise the face that just appeared under the other side of the table was Gale's "Gale I'm so sorry"

"We play hide and seek a little differently at home" he says, his words mumbled by the hand he has clamped over his nose

"Shit, I'm so sorry" I crawl across and tip his head back "move your hands" I tell him, I need to check if it's broken "it's alright, just a bit bloody"

"Bit bloody painful" he chuckles and I cringe

"I'm so sorry Gale, you scared me"

"Well I learnt my lesson there didn't I" he laughs "wait, did you just curse?"

"Shut up" I shove him and he grins. He's so handsome when he smiles that way

"I uh- I didn't get the chance to tell you how lovely you look tonight" I take in the man before more appreciatively. Everyone knows Gale is handsome, including Gale himself. Tonight he wears worn denim trousers, his work boots and a woollen jumper that's on it's last legs. Nothing special yet the denim fits him perfectly and the jumper, dark navy like the sky when you get outside of the district, brings out the bronze of his skin and the hint of turquoise in his eyes

"Thank you" I drop my head and hide behind my hair "you should see what I was supposed to wear" I try to deflect from the fact I have butterflies in my stomach and a lump in my throat. His touch is tentative when he tucks my hair behind my ear, my cheeks flame. When his fingers don't leave my skin and instead trail down my neck, my breathing becomes laboured. Our clothes rustle as we shift to face each other but other than that it's quiet. Neither of us are breathing and the sounds of the festival seem to be dulled by the cloth that separates us from it. I almost go cross eyed as he leans in towards me because I can't break our gaze and then I can feel the heat of his skin on my own. It seems like hours that he watches me, my lips, the catch in my breaths, my eyes, the flush of my cheeks and then his lips graze mine. Not directly, the plumpness of his lips catch the corner of mine but it's not chaste either. He lingers there and rests his forehead against mine. When his eyes open, what I had thought to be uncertainty looks more like reverie and he strokes my cheek with the pad of his thumb

"You're crying" he whispers "why didn't you stop me?"

"I didn't want to" I assure him, my voice is feeble "I hate that I had to become this for you to notice me"

"I always noticed you Madge. It wasn't the games that changed how I saw you, it wasn't even learning all you'd done for my family, the district, the rebellion. It was seeing the real you. Learning about you through all you'd done. Seeing the girl beneath the pretty dress not the girl you anted everyone to see"

"I'm not even that girl anymore Gale"

"Not wholly no. But you're still passionate about the same things?" I nod "you still want the same things?" I nod "you still love the same things?" I look him in the eye. It had always been a crush, the handsome, broody boy that brought strawberries with Katniss, just a crush and everyone had a crush on Gale. It wasn't until he started being more obvious about his disdain for me, it became anything more. When I realised his fire, saw his soul through the way he'd defend his family and his pride. That's when I fell in love with him. An angry boy from the seam with enough fire to burn a city to the ground and enough love to dampen the flames. Do I still love the same things? Another look at the man before me and I nod.


	34. Chapter 34

He's still got my face in his hands when he grins and brushes his thumb over my lips

"I'll admit I didn't see this happening under a table"

"At least you won't forget it" I blush

"No I won't" he smiles and takes my hand "come on, you can't hide under here all night" he kisses the back of my hand quickly and smirks as he helps me from under the table. I call my thanks and wave goodbye to the Mellark brothers as Gale pulls me back in to the crowd to his family and the Everdeen's

"Princess Madge" Posy actually slows down in time for me to pick her up this time and I place her on my hip

"Hello everyone, Katniss, Prim, Mrs. Everdeen" I still struggle when I see Prim. I'll never regret volunteering for her but it always reminds me of the games. It almost as bad as seeing Levy was

"We had cookies" Vick tells me excitably, crumbs still covering his hands, face and shirt

"That was very kind of you Madge" Hazelle adds

"I didn't think it was fair not everyone got to try them. Mellark's make the best anything" I can't help raising an eyebrow at Katniss when I say it, to which her eyes widen and she looks around frantically to see if anyone else noticed

"Look Gale it's Thom" Posy points from my hip and I let her slide down my body before my arms give way the way my legs feel they might. At the sound of his name, Thom turns, he takes one look at me and his face morphs from sullen to disgusted. He glares at Gale who steps forward and begins to call his name, only to be silenced by Katniss. Weirdly she's the one to go after him "he's still real sad about Orion" suddenly it's infinitely harder to breath, my vision swims and I feel like I've been hit by a train

"I have to go" it's all I can manage as I walk away

"What's the matter with the princess Gale?" I hear Posy ask behind me

"She's real sad about Orion too Pose".

The run home is a blur, my dress tears before I've even reached the edge of town and that's the last thing I remember. My face stings with tears and by the time I reach Victor's Village I'm barefoot but I don't remember taking off my shoes. The next thing I know I'm face down on a mattress and struggling to breathe but have no desire to turn over.

Blood. It bubbles up in the water and spreads until the river and the waterfall are gushing streams of blood. I can smell it in the air, so thick I can taste it on my tongue. The rocks beneath my feet are slick with it and I slip as I try to run. I land in a puddle of the stuff and it begins to pull me down. I fight and struggle against the heaviness of the blood soaking into my hair and clothes but it's no use. It's in my mouth and nose, I can't breath, it's pulling me down. Just before disappearing below the surface I see a figure, the blood cloying in my eyelashes obstructs the view but as I sink I get a clear glance of Orion standing above me, slitting his own throat to add to the river of blood.

"Miss Madge?" someone young whispers from the door, it startles me awake and pulls me from my nightmare, though the images still linger "are you asleep?" I think about staying silent, about pulling the covers tighter over my head and suffocating myself but she's a five year old girl so I roll over to face her "oh good" she sighs as she crawls up on to the bed and lays down

"Posy did you come all the way here by yourself?"

"No silly, Gale was allowed to bring me because the nice man with the cookies said he'd walk Mama and Ev and Katniss and Prim and Rory and Vick home"

"Peeta's walking them home?"

"Mmmhmm"

"Where's Gale?"

"I told him to make you some tea"

"Oh"

"Princess Madge I'm sorry I made you sad"

"You didn't" my voice cracks

"Gale says I can't talk about Orion because it makes people sad but ... Mama always says it's better to talk when you're sad and ... talking always makes me feel better" I can't help but smile a bit at that

"The thing is Posy, I'm not sure I can talk about him" she nods her head with a serious expression

"Maybe you need some more time, maybe tomorrow you'll be a little bit happier and the day after that a little more"

"You're pretty smart huh?"

"Yeah" she sighs like it's the biggest burden in the world and I smile again

"Posy can I tell you a secret?"

"Sure"

"I can't sleep, I have nightmares and I'm terrified of closing my eyes because every time I do. I see O- I have nightmares about him"

"That's okay, I have nightmares too. I'll stay right here and keep watch over you" she declares proudly and huddles closer to me "close your eyes" she says surprisingly softly. Reluctantly I do as she says and let her tangle her fingers in my hair. After a moment of silence she begins to hum, it's not a lullaby and it's far too upbeat to send someone to sleep but I recognise it and that's enough to comfort me.

When I wake again, it's to hushed voices, Gale and Posy whispering the other side of the bed

"She's sad and scared but we can look after her can't we Gale"

"Yeah"

"And we can cheer her up, we can give her presents and she can come to dinner"

"Would you like that? Would you like it if Madge was around more?"

"She's all on her own here. Gale can Madge come live with us?" she asks suddenly, forgetting to whisper

"Shhh Pose"

"Maybe she wouldn't miss Orion as much if she wasn't on her own" I roll on to my back and stretch not wanting to hear wherever that conversation was going "she's awake! Morning Madge"

"Good morning Posy, Gale" I nod formally, too embarrassed to do much else

"I hope you don't mind ... we stayed. You guys fell asleep and it was too late to go back"

"It's fine" I assure him "who wants breakfast?".

Posy is devouring her second chocolate chip muffin and I'm finishing a cup of tea when I feel something nudge my leg, when it nudges my calf again a few seconds later I realise it wasn't an accident and look at Gale opposite me. He's looking at his empty plate

"Are you sure you don't want anything Gale? Maybe more toast?"

"Oh no thanks Madge, I'm fine" he grins in an overly friendly manner and turns back to Posy "that nice?" I think he's talking to Posy until I feel his foot stroke the length of my calf from ankle to knee. I glare at him across the table but he isn't looking at me. I do catch the smirk on his face though and I realise he's trying to rattle me. I shift forward on my seat to compensate for my shorter legs and poke him in the thigh with my toe. I'm overly satisfied with myself when he clears his throat and glances at me, I arch an eyebrow and poke him again, harder. He retaliates by hooking his foot around my ankle and pulling me and my chair closer to the table. I kick him, he prods me then all of a sudden our legs are tangle and Gale's on the floor. Neither of us can stop laughing long enough to tell Posy why he's on the floor and I have tears streaming from my eyes I'm laughing so hard. When I finally force myself to stop and breathe I look across at Gale and buckle over with laughter all over again. It's been a long time since my stomach hurt this way, I missed it.


	35. Chapter 35

My next trip to the capitol is different, everything about it has me on edge. First when I see the smoke rising from District 11 and then when the train doesn't make a single stop. When we pass through District 8 there are peacekeepers lining the tracks and more smoke filling the air.

My prep team is waiting at the station when we arrive and they act no different than usual. Again I dismiss Lucia and Marcelia so Lavinia can help me get ready in peace. She hums while she paints my face and I almost fall asleep then she hands me a pair of sheer black tights. I smile, grateful she doesn't insist on dressing me. There's a simple black dress on a hanger and suede boots beneath it. Once I'm dressed, Lavinia holds up another hanger, the garment is black again, the same material as my winter coat and again lined with fur, it has a large hood and hangs like a short cape, sort of like a poncho with sleeves. When she sees my expression, Lavinia takes out her tablet and chalk

'Cinna's new design'

"Lavinia? If you don't mind my asking, how come you're allowed to leave the capitol?" to this she shrugs, she has less of an idea than I do "I'll see you soon then" she kisses my cheeks and smiles sympathetically and then I'm escorted off the train.

"Miss Undersee" Castor nods as I get in to the back of the car

"No Effie?" I wonder

"She's already at the Presidents Mansion, she wasn't able to come with me and collect you"

"Wasn't able or wasn't allowed?"

"I'm inclined to go with the second" I fight the urge to jump from the moving car, whatever's happening can't be good

"Any idea what this is about? I saw some things on the train"

"The other districts?"

"Not exactly, they were mostly fenced off but there was a lot of smoke and I've never seen so many peacekeepers"

"They're trying to gain control of things, it's going to get very ugly"

"And that's why I'm here?"

"I don't think so, I suspect something far more disturbing"

"You're really helping me relax here Castor"

"I think it may be best if you're on your guard Miss Undersee".

My nails are digging in to my palms and I actually spook when an avox reaches out to take my coat. I'm escorted to a room I haven't been to yet, a small parlour with feminine floral patterns and delicate furniture. In the middle of it, looking perfectly at home is Effie, drinking tea. Only she's terrified, I can see it. Across from her is the president, he wipes crumbs from his forever growing lips with a silk napkin, leaving it smeared with blood

"Madge! My Dear, we've been expecting you" a quick glance at Effie and a cold shiver freezes me from head to toe. She's not terrified for herself, she's terrified for me

"Mr President, Effie"

"Why don't you take a seat Dear, have some tea, try the macaroons". For close to an hour we chit chat about things that really don't matter but the entire time I can feel Effie's worry getting worse "I'm sure you're wondering why Miss Trinket is here" Effie's foot touches mine under the table but it doesn't do anything to comfort me "I thought it might be best if she were here when we discuss this, after all Miss Trinket will be the one scheduling your appointments"

"My appointments?" I say it clearly even though inside I'm shaking

"Yes" he takes a sip of tea and wipes the drops away before they reach his chin "I don't know how much you know about Victors and the lifetime they have after the games. I imagine you can only go by your own experience and what your fellow Victor Haymitch Abbernathy has told you" as a matter of fact I know plenty, none of it good "the games are revered here in the Capitol Madge, I know you don't feel the same way but my citizens enjoy everything about them ... especially the Victors" my tea cup clatters as it falls to the saucer after slipping from my grip. Enjoy the Victors "I have never seen as much interest in a singular tribute before. I'm sure you know your sponsorships broke records whilst you ere in the games and now that you're a Victor, even more so"

"What's your point Mr. President?" I ask sharply

"My point Madge, Dear" he says sweetly, reaching over and covering my hand with his own, a smile on his lips as if what he's about to say isn't going to kill a small part of me "is your virginity is going for three times what Finnick O'dair's did" I'm going to kill him "and the number is still climbing" I always knew I wanted him dead but I'd never cared about how or who it was that did it "it's becoming rather exciting" but now I want to be the one to do it "and shows no sign of ending soon" I want to see the life leave his body "every time it slows down, a new bidder appears" I want to watch whatever grotesque excuse for a soul this man has, leave his eyes "of course Alias Clarke was one of the first to make an offer" I'm going to make it painful "not to worry though, he doesn't have the money most of the others do" quick, because the sooner the world's rid of this man the better "however it isn't about the money" but painful, agonising, so excruciating he'd rip out his own heart before enduring another second "it's about keeping the people happy" I could do it right now "I do love to give the people what they want" I wouldn't even need the cake fork resting near my hand "it'll be after the victory tour" or the rope like curtain ties behind him "your visits will be much more frequent and it'll be an inconvenience to keep them private" maybe it'd be better to do it with my bare hands "Madge?" I disguise the fact I'm glaring at the last second

"Yes, Mr. President?"

"Did you hear me?"

"I told you I'd match any offer that was made, from Alias Clarke or anyone else"

"And I just told you, it isn't about the money"

"What else can I offer? What else can I do?"

"Nothing Madge, you can do absolutely nothing".

Effie and I leave together, I've never seen her this quiet and frankly it's more unsettling than peaceful. The moment Castor pulls off she has her arms around me and she sobs. All I can think is that it really should be the other way around

"I'm s-so sorry" she stammers "I d-d-didn't know-w"

"It's alright Effie" I reply blankly "nothing we can do now"

"Oh-h-h-oh Madge" she sniffles

"Here Effie fix your make-up before I get out" I don't mean to be short with her but Effie is the one who always has it together and since the games she's falling apart, she's as much of a mess as me

"I'll prolong it all as long as I possibly can"

"Thanks Effie, I'll probably see you soon".


	36. Chapter 36

It's still early when Gale knocks at the front door. I hadn't even bothered leaving my room yet so I'm still in the clothes I slept in. I slip on a satin dressing gown that's so thin I may as well not be wearing it and make my way downstairs after deciding I don't care

"Hey, you not feeling like walking today?" he asks, taking in my attire and I'm sure I look like I just rolled out of bed, which is basically true

"No, not exactly" I croak

"Should I just come back tomorrow?"

"No, no, that's stupid. You could come in?"

"Oh. Alright" he smiles and I remember the night of the festival. He had smiled the same way then and it had been a reprieve. Something good had blossomed up and for a few short moments, it had outweighed the bad. I convince him to try hot chocolate, he insists it's too expensive but I insist it'll only go to waste. After he drains his first mug it's not so hard to make him have another. When he finishes that too, I can't help but roll my eyes

"I'm going to have to stop you there, or at least make you take a break or you'll be sick but you can take the can home if you like"

"I most definitely will not"

"Are you really going to argue with me? You would've finished it right here yourself. Don't you think the kids would like to try it" he huffs in defeat "Gale Hawthorne are you sulking?"

"I'm pouting, there's a difference"

"There is?"

"Pouting is cuter" he says, puckering his lips downward

"You're the expert" I concede and pull his lip down with my finger as I pass so it makes a popping sound. Before I can take my hand away he catches it with his own and pulls me back towards him

"I missed you yesterday"

"I was in the Capitol" I reply dumbly

"I miss you the second we part" he lifts my chin so I'll meet his gaze and I pull away

"What's wrong?"

"This isn't right" I feel filthy knowing what I'll have to do in just under a month when the victory tour is over, I don't want to bring Gale in to that. When he doesn't say anything I look up at him and he's frowning, I blind man could see he's hurt and annoyed

"No, of course it's not. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed myself on you" he's annoyed at himself, I realise and move back in to him

"You didn't push anything on me" I say honestly, wrapping my arms around his middle "It's not you"

"I swear, if you say 'it's not you it's me' I'll shoot myself in the foot"

"But it is me, it's my problem and not yours"

"I never pegged you as the selfish type" I roll my eyes at his sarcasm and he wraps his fingers in the hair that reaches the middle of my back "please stop trying to handle everything on your own. You know that doesn't work"

"I'm not dragging you in to this"

"No one's dragging me. I'm here by my own accord, I don't want to be anywhere else"

"You're not going to want this when- after the victory tour, everything will be different"

"I'm always going to want you know Madge, that's not going to change"

"It will"

"Madge you're going to have to tell me what's going on" I take a deep breathe that doesn't satisfy and close my eyes

"How many of the files have you read? Have you looked in every box?"

"All but one"

"Which one?"

"13" that should be interesting

"Then you know about other victors, hardly any of them live normally, they're either drunks or addicts and those who aren't basically live in the Capitol"

"Like the careers?"

"Yes they're in the Capitol a lot but I meant the others. Like Finnick" I say it carefully, hoping he's read Finnick's statements and I won't have to say if myself

"Finnick O'Dair?"

"Yes"

"He's in the Capitol for business most of the time and to collect new information for the rebellion" it's official, Gale can't read between the lines

"Exactly what type of business do you think Finnick does in the Capitol?"

"I don't know, all it says is that he deals in information, secrets as he put it"

"Gale Finnick goes to the Capitol because the president sells him to anyone who can afford it"

"Sells him? Like?"

"Like those girls sell themselves to Cray. The president sells Finnick's body"

"What?!" he looks grief stricken

"Haven't you noticed every time Finnick's on TV, he's with some capitol socialite?"

"I just thought he was, you know, that he got around"

"It's paid for Gale. Finnick's actually madly in love with a girl back home"

"Does she know?" he exclaims, mortified

"Not exactly no. Annie, she was in the games, you probably remember her"

"She went crazy when her district partner was decapitated?"

"That's the one"

"I don't get it. If he's got a girl, it's not like he needs the money, why does he do it?"

"He hasn't got a choice Gale. The president threatens Annie, Mags, he even uses Johanna against him"

"This is so sick. Wasn't Finnick a kid when he won?"

"14 but they didn't start it right away"

"Oh that makes it so much better" he snaps

"I'm not defending it"

"Hang on, what has this got to do with me and you?" I hope my silence will be enough, that he won't make me say it but he doesn't say anything either

"He wants to sell me" I murmur "the president told me yesterday that he's already auctioning me for after the victory tour" he stands frozen for a beat and then it's like something inside him snaps

"He can't" Gale whispers, the words hoarse and strained "I won't let him!" he shouts

"You can't stop him Gale, my virginity's going for triple what Finnick's did"

"No" he growls "he can't, he can't sell you and they can't touch you"

"He'll kill the people I love!" I yell "and I won't lose anyone else"

"Exactly! He can't take any more from you! I won't let him"

"I don't have a choice in this Gale. There's nothing anyone can do" I tell him, resigned

"No! No, you might've accepted this but I won't"

"Gale!" the front door slams and he's gone. I sit at the breakfast bar, where moments ago we had stood holding each other, and I poor myself some of the made up hot chocolate. I take a sip and decide it's not quite going to cut it, so go to the pantry and retrieve a bottle of brandy. It doesn't taste brilliant but I'm not fussy. When someone opens my front door the mug holds more brandy than it does hot chocolate, who am I kidding, it's just straight brandy

"Hon? You here?"

"In the kitchen Haymitch" good my words aren't slurred

"On the bottle again huh?" Haymitch asks disapprovingly

"Madge I thought you'd stopped this"

"Oh look who's back" I grin falsely at Gale and he moves the mug away from me. To spite my tone I'm glad when he takes my hand "Told Haymitch on me I see?"

"I had to do something" he strokes hair off my face with his free hand and rests it at the back of my neck

"The boy's right Madge. Why the hell didn't you tell me?"

"I only found out yesterday. I'm surprised Effie didn't get the message to you"

"Trinket knows?"

"She was there with me" I deadpan

"Communication in this outfit is falling seriously down hill"

"Excuse me for not wanting to talk about it"

"We know now" Gale cuts in "What can we do about it?"

"I've got an idea" Haymitch says slowly "but I don't think you're going to like it".


	37. Chapter 37

We're gathered in my sitting room, Haymitch in one of the arm chairs, Darius and Katniss on one couch, Gale and I on the other. My father sweeps the room with a device that will detect any surveillance equipment that could've been planted. It's been done multiple times since I moved in but with Snow's letters mysteriously appearing, it's better to be safe than sorry.

"I'm not saying it'll work but at the very least it'll buy you some time" Haymitch begins "the capitol loves the games but they like sex more, hence your predicament"

"Haymitch" my father warns "maybe some sensitivity"

"But if there's one thing they love more than anything" Haymitch continues "it's a good love story"

"That's it?!" I fume "that's your big idea?!"

"Hear me out Honey, being in love with that boy might just save your life" when he points at Gale I turn ready to disregard everything Haymitch just said

"I'll do it" he says immediately "as long as Madge is willing, I'll do whatever it is you want me to"

"Gale do you realise what they're asking?" Katniss says quietly, as if only to him

"Jealous Sweetheart?" Haymitch grins, though I can tell he's irritated

"No way, Katniss is getting herself some baker boy" Darius chuckles

"Shut it Darius" she hisses "and that's not what I meant. I'm all for getting Madge out of this but is lying to Panem really wise? What if they got caught out?"

"Who says it would be lying?" I cut in, when Haymitch looks at me with a smirk and Darius raises an eyebrow, I realise how that sounded "what I mean is. I mentioned it, in the games, didn't I? Ceaser asked me about it in my interview. It doesn't have to be Gale, it doesn't have to be anyone. It'll just be a distraction"

"You really think they'll go for that?" Darius asks entirely unconvinced "unless they've got decent footage of you loved up with some chiselled Adonis, they're not going to be interested"

"That's Gale out then" Katniss snorts, very unlike Katniss, she just made a joke and gave an opinion on male attractiveness, an incorrect one but still. I wonder if it's Peeta that's caused the change "sorry" she murmurs

"They're going to want to know everything, down to the way you hold hands. You'll forget what privacy is, they'll be there all the time" Haymitch says seriously

"You don't know that" I argue

"They're obsessed with you as it is Madgie" my father says solemnly "it would only get worse. Not just for you but for Gale"

"I don't care" Gale stresses

"Not just that Gale, they'll want to know everything about you, that means your family"

"Madge can we speak alone for a minute?" Gale doesn't wait for an answer, so I follow him down the hall, outside, on to the back porch "I'll do it, it's a small price to pay to keep you out of harm but I want you to be okay with it"

"I can't ask that of you"

"You're not asking anything"

"You don't understand Gale, it puts you at risk. He'll use you against me once he knows. I won't do that"

"I'm choosing it"

"Where did this come from Gale? what are you doing?"

"I'm doing what I can to keep you safe"

"Why? Why are you willing to risk so much?"

"I don't know Madge ... but I am. Nothing seems too high a price to keep you safe, that's just how I feel"

"Once we do this, there's no going back, you know that right? At least until the rebellion starts moving forward"

"I uh- I was going to ask you out, on a real date. Then all this happened and I guess I got side tracked"

"You were going to ask me on a date?"

"I'm falling for you Madge" I can't stop the bubble of laughter that escapes me "what?" he chuckles

"This is insane"

"Should I not have said that?"

"No, I - I just never thought you would"

"Come on, let's go back in".

"Have we reached a decision?" Haymitch asks when we return

"We'll do it, but I want to keep Gale out of it as much as we can. The minute he's in danger we get him out of the picture in some way"

"Are you sure about this Madgie?" I look my father in the eye, unsure of what to say

"No but it's worth a shot" he hugs me and rubs my back soothingly "I'm not sure it wouldn't be easier to just ... do it"

"Go along with Snow's plan?" I nod "No Madgie, no, promise me you won't give up on yourself like that"

"What I've agreed to is selfish"

"For what it's worth Madge, he didn't need asking twice"

"He doesn't know what he's agreed to"

"I don't think he cares Madge"

"Will you say hello to mom for me, if you can"

"Of course" he kisses my head quickly and then leaves with Haymitch

"You coming Hawthorne?" Darius calls as he starts for the door

"I might stay a while" Gale answers when I nod

"Alright, Madge my dear one, don't stay away too long, HQ and I miss you" Darius squeezes me then dips his head to whisper in my ear "you're not making him do anything, boy's whipped"

"Darius" I chide, I love Darius but he can't seem to take anything seriously

"I mean it. Remember, don't be a stranger"

"I'll see you soon" I close the door behind him and almost walk in to Katniss when I turn "Katniss?"

"Can we talk?"

"Sure, is something wrong?"

"Maybe you should sit down" oh joy! I sit on the couch next to Gale again, this time closer and he rests his hand on the base of my spine "I'm not sure how to ask this"

"Spit it out Catnip" Gale encourages her, he can probably feel me shaking. She gnaws on her bottom lip and fidgets awkwardly in her seat

"Thom wants to meet you"

"What do you mean Thom wants to meet her?" Gale asks hoarsely

"After he saw us all together at the festival, he told me he wanted to speak to you"

"Katniss - I - I don't think I can"

"It won't be easy for him either"

"I know he - lost his brother but I can't be reminded of it like that"

"It might help" she counters but for me the room is shrinking "you both need closure and maybe if you just explained -"

"Don't push her Catnip" Gale says defensively, it warms me from the inside out but it's weird

"What if you told him about the rebellion. Maybe if he knew that, he'd understand why his brother did what he did"

"Catnip" Gale warns

"If you just explained"

"I can't relive it Katniss" I sound breathless and my vision swirls and blurs like I've run too far with no water or sustenance

"Madge?" Gale's other hand lands on my shoulder and it's not until I feel the pressure of his grip, I realise he's holding me up

"I'm okay, I'm okay" I wave him off

"Madge I think you should lay down" Gale worries

"I think I should speak to Thom".


	38. Chapter 38

Gale, Katniss and Thom are due within the hour and I didn't sleep a wink last night. While the reprieve from nightmares was nice, my exhaustion this morning is not. Today is going to be harder than I originally thought and I was never under the illusion that I as going to get through it without a drink so my breakfast consists of coffee infused brandy and an apple. So that when I inevitably throw up I won't just be heaving.

A knock at the door has the apple threatening to make a return much sooner than I had thought

"Madge?" at Gale's voice my stomach settles minutely and I go to the entryway to meet him "I thought I should come ahead of the other two"

"Thank you" I breathe, grateful for the warning

"Are you sure about this?"

"I thought about it a lot last night and I realised I'm being selfish ... and a coward. This has to be so much harder for them and I've been moping around feeling sorry for myself"

"Madge you haven't exactly had it easy" he stresses

"He has every right to be angry at me and hiding out here is just cowardly"

"You didn't do anything wrong Madge. Orion chose his fate" I flinch at his name, still not having found the strength to say it myself

"You'll never change my mind on this" I tell him

"Maybe not, but someone else might".

We sit in the parlour again, in silence this time. Seeing Thom is always hard but having him sat directly in front of me for a long stretch of time is somewhere near torture. I can feel the blame radiating off him in waves of hatred. If I looked up I'm sure he'd be glaring at me. That's when I decide to stop being a coward, I deserve every blow he's got to give.

When I do look up he's not glaring, not even looking disapprovingly. He's just looking, head tilted ever so slightly, a confounded expression on his face, his features tight with confusion maybe?

"You're always so happy when I've see you, so put together" he suddenly speaks, shattering the silence that as becoming unbearable but still better than the alternative "I didn't realise how much of a mess you were" he finishes bluntly. Gale gives him a warning look which only seems to piss Thom off and Katniss looks away uncomfortably "he died for you and I thought you'd just forgotten about it"

"She hasn't" Gale answers for me, something I'd usually hate but in this case was necessary

"Speaking for her as well Hawthorne? How things have changed"

"Give it a rest Thom"

"You give it a rest Gale" Thom snaps, getting to his feet

"Thom sit down" Katniss says softly

"No! You're a bloody traitor" he yells jabbing a finger at Gale's chest

"Thom please it's me you're angry at" I won't have a friendship destroyed because of me or something I've done

"No it's not. My brother was smart and a good judge of character, if he liked you, if he thought you ere worth dying over then you probably are but you Hawthorne are a traitorous bastard who can't keep it in his pants" when Gale stands he's an inch or two taller than Thom but neither shows signs of backing down

"I won't fight you Thom"

"You used to have substance Hawthorne, when did you become a little bitch? Around the same time you put high maintenance tail above friends?"

"You'd better stop now Thom"

"Don't you fucking tell me what to do"

"You're being irrational"

"Oh that's it" Thom shakes his head in disbelief takes a step back, he pulls back his arm, fist clenched tightly and takes a hold of Gales shirt with the other hand. I watch in horror as Gale stays completely still, doesn't even flinch and takes the hit. I'm quite sure at some point we'll be able to see the bruises left from each individual knuckle in Thom's hand. Because Thom is still holding Gale's shirt he bounces right back and Thom rears back his fist to hit him again, and again Gale doesn't move to block it. So I do, I catch his fist and twist his hand in to a lock that would very easily break his wrist if he struggled

"Thom stop"

"Let go, ah!"

"Thom" Katniss takes a hold of his shoulders and stares him down "stop"

"It's not fair" he whimpers "he's getting everything he could have ever wanted and more and my brother-" his hand slips through my fingers and he turns to face us looking contrite "my brother said you gave him hope, for a better life, a chance at a better life at least. And he just gave all that up?"

"No" I shake my head "he thought I could do that for everyone else and I'm going to try I am-"

"What are you talking about?" Katniss and Gale both nod their agreement but I'm not sure. He's angry and not thinking clearly, a dangerous combination

"We told you there was more at play here Thom" Katniss tries to explain

"What does that even mean?"

"A rebellion" Gale says bluntly, still rubbing at his cheek "your brother didn't die for Madge, he died for what she could do for the rebellion"

"Rebellion?" it's a hushed whisper, he knows the weight the word carries, everyone does. Rebellion means war, death, a repeat of the dark days. To spite that though, it also means hope. Hope for something better, something fair, something that doesn't require starving to death, freezing in your bed, dying from easily curable ailments, being worked in to your grave and sending children to the slaughter "and not just a strike in the mines or demanding better grain, a real full scale rebellion. It's been years in the making"

"What does that have to do with you?" Thom asks, looking at me with his brow furrowed

"I-I-" I what? I knew about it, I knew I'd be going in to the games, I knew anyone else who did would have to die "I was always going to volunteer for the games" his features scrunch together in confusion and a little disgusted I think "I've been training for them since I was, a toddler really"

"You're telling me a kid wanted to go in to the games?"

"Well ... yes" I answer "as the mayor's daughter I had access to information and funds, no one asks too many questions, I've grown up around Capitol people, I know how to speak, act, pretend around them"

"And what does that mean?"

"It means they trust me. I have tea with the president of Panem at least once a week and I'm free to travel to the Capitol whenever I please"

"And my brother knew this?"

"He knew enough" I nod "but it was never supposed to happen the way it did" I add quickly "I was just going to make it look like he had died"

"Oh come on as if you'd get away with that"

"The tracking devices they put in the tributes also monitor everything else about the body, how hydrated you are, energy levels, heart rate, pulse. That's how they know if someone's dead or just concussed from outside the arena"

"Exactly they'd know it was fake"

"The chips can be rebooted, a hard hit and they lose their signal until they're re-collaborated. They were designed by Beetee Latier, a past victor, for this exact purpose. See I wasn't meant to volunteer yet"

"She volunteered two years early to keep Prim out of the games" Katniss explains

"We had a plan in place, for the Quell, two years from now so I knew about the chips. I was just going to knock him out and reboot the chip. When I got out I'd have him found but he never gave me the chance" my voice is shaking, I haven't spoken about him this much and it's beginning to take it's toll

"So my brother wanted the rebellion to succeed?"

"Yes, he did"

"Then I only have one question" three of us wait expectantly for him to continue and when he does his features are fierce with determination "where do I sign up?".


	39. Chapter 39

The morning I leave for the victory tour I feel numb, I drift and wander, let Effie and both prep teams usher me around in a daze. It's still early when Katniss brings Prim to the house to say goodbye. The prep teams recognise her immediately from the footage of my reaping which is played over and over

"Oh goodness, it's the sisters, the little girl Madge volunteered for, aren't you precious" Octavia almost pats Prim's head but takes a look at her less than pristine clothes and changes her mind "aren't you a lucky girl" I step in when Katniss looks about ready to claw her eyes out and offer everyone tea

"Katniss, Prim, could you give me some help?" still glaring at the prep team, Katniss guides Prim in to the kitchen behind me and I relax on to a stool "I'm sorry about them"

"I don't understand how they're so stupid. I mean I'm not a social butterfly but I'm not that clueless"

"I don't know. You're a lot more ... approachable, since you started dating Peeta" I smirk, Prim giggles

"I'm not dating Peeta"

"Has he taken you on a date?"

"Sort of"

"More than once?"

"I guess"

"Then you're dating"

"We come to see you before you leave for the tour" she carries on quickly, her cheeks pinker than I've ever seen

"Thank you, I'm not exactly looking forward to it"

"Prim could you wait for me out front?" Katniss says, keeping her tone light and thought suspicious, Prim does as she asks, giving me a small hug on her way out. Katniss watches Prim go, I assume making sure she can't overhear anything then leans in closer to me to keep the conversation private from any other ears "you don't think- when you get to the Capitol- They won-t-" she stammers

"If you're asking if Snow has made the deal and if, when I'm in the Capitol, at the end of the victory tour, I'll be expected to honour it. I don't know, he said it wouldn't happen until after the victory tour, how soon after I don't know"

"So the thing with Gale, it won't even matter if the deal's already been made?"

"I think Haymitch is thinking it'll distract them. The idea of this great all conquering love may put them off the idea of - you know, coming between that"

"Do they really care about that sort of thing?"

"It's all we've got" I shrug and she grimaces "if you're worried about Gale, I won't let anything happen to him. If I can get away with it they'll never even learn his name" she doesn't look convinced "Katniss, I care about him, a lot. If it comes down to it, I'll do what the president wants"

"No Madge, that's not what I'm saying"

"It's what I've decided"

"Madge Darling?" Effie interrupts whatever it is Katniss was going to say "you really must get ready"

"I'll be right there Effie. Thank you Katniss, for coming to see me this morning and Thom and everything else"

"Madge, Gale is okay with this you know, I'm pretty sure he doesn't even know what he's got himself in to but he's willing to do pretty much anything for you at the minute. No offence but he's being kinda stupid" when I don't say anything she sighs "but you get my point. Don't do anything drastic without talking to him, he'd never forgive you or himself if you went along with Snow's plans because you thought you were endangering him"

"And his family" I murmur, it's a possibility if he's in the limelight

"Just promise me you'll talk to him first" I nod "speak of the devil" I glance over my shoulder, where Gale has appeared in the doorway to the kitchen

"Hey, Catnip I wasn't expecting you to be here"

"I'm just going, is Prim still outside?"

"Yeah she's still there"

"I'll see you soon" she gives me a quick embrace, barely recognisable as a hug but impressive for Katniss

"Okay, thanks again for coming around, say bye to Prim again for me" she smiles tightly and slips out unnoticed by the others bustling about elsewhere "Hi, I didn't know you were coming"

"Of course I would, I'm coming to the train station too if that's alright"

"There'll be a lot of cameras"

"Exactly, this is our earliest chance to introduce me" he grins

"Gale-"

"This will work, it has to"

"This could be dangerous and on top of that, they're going to be in your face and you hate these people"

"So do you" I roll my eyes and resolve to just not tell him I don't plan on mentioning him specifically "I uh- I got something for you"

"You what?"

"Well technically I made it"

"Again, you did what?" he shrugs

"Just felt like it" his hand is fisted when he pulls it from his pocket "it's not shop bought or anything-"

"You made me something" I repeat, still not quite believing him. He opens his hand and laying in the centre of his huge palm is w small piece of what looks like leather. On closer inspection I see it's three tiny pieces, braided together in a ring, the details too fine to see from more than a few inches away

"It's a ring" I raise an eyebrow "not like- I mean, sort of a promise ring"

"And what exactly are you promising?"

"That I'm not going anywhere, that I'm going to stick around for as long as you'll have me" he smiles sheepishly and holds the ring out to me

"Gale-"

"Is it too much? Am I being pushy?"

"No, no" I reassure him quickly

"I know this has been fast and forced upon us in some ways but I've never been more sure about anything Madge"

"Gale-"

"Madge-" he chuckles "you're making me nervous, would you just put it on" I can't help but smile at him and take the delicate piece from his hand

"You made this?" I ask again, looking from the intricate design to his large hands

"It was a lot like setting one of my wire snares, a little more fiddly"

"Well I should hope I'm harder to catch than a rabbit" I tease, sliding the band around the ring finger of my right hand

"But I have caught you" he smirks and wraps his arms around my waist lightly. When I nod he pulls me tighter to him and nuzzles in to my neck, where he plants a soft kiss. And then another, more languid, he lingers, then presses another higher up and another, climbing to my jaw, across my cheek. We lock eyes for just a moment before he leans back in and our first kiss is breath taking. Not because I see stars or lose myself but because for a few precious moments, his lips and his mouth and the slightest hint of his tongue are able to overwhelm everything else. Everything else is still there, the games, the rebellion, the guilt, the fear, Snow's deal, it's all still there it just doesn't matter. I don't see stars and I don't lose myself but I find something more.

My whole life had been about the rebellion, finding a way to help people live, not just exist. I hadn't realised until know I was barely even existing. I've always had a purpose, another target to reach, problem to solve but being with Gale I feel like I've found my reason to live.


	40. Chapter 40

**Katniss**

Peeta walks with Prim and I to town after deciding he shouldn't interrupt Madge and Gale. To my surprise and horror, when we reach the bakery, his two older brothers jog towards us

"Katniss, Prim I uh- I hope you don't mind but my brothers wanted to see Madge off too" I nod dumbly to spite wanting to turn around and run home

"And of course we couldn't pass up this opportunity to meet the illusive Katniss" one of his brothers grins. I think it's the middle one, Rye

"Katniss, Prim, these are my brothers Bannock and Rye. Ban, Rye, this is Katniss and her sister Prim"

"Hi" I squeak, Prim grins. Much to my annoyance, she's always had a soft spot for the Mellark's, maybe if she's talkative this won't be so bad

"So Katniss, why exactly are you interested in our little Peeta?" or it could go monstrously awful

"I-" I open my mouth then close it again, multiple times

"Guys" Peeta groans "you promised"

"We said we'd try not to embarrass you, who knew it was so easy" Rye chuckles "she didn't answer though Peet"

"I-" I stammer again, I know they're just teasing him but I don't want Peeta to think they're right. I just don't know what to say

"She likes his cheese buns" Prim chirps, for a moment I'm grateful until I see the blush on Peeta's cheeks and the smirks his brothers wear

"Oh she likes his buns does she?" Bannock chuckles mischievously

"I like the cheese buns you sell at the bakery" I clarify

"Dating you for baked goods. Knew there had to be some reason"

"I'm not- that's not why I like him" Peeta flushes pink like me, our siblings grin.

The train station is packed, though not many actually want to be there, it's all for the cameras. Madge arrives in a car, the only one in the district, with Effie Trinket, Haymitch and unbelievably, Gale. The Mayor helps Effie from the car then claps Haymitch on the shoulder, hugs Madge and shakes Gale's hand. They're escorted by four peacekeepers through the crowd, to the train. Even in full uniform and helmet I can see Darius is at the back, closest to Gale.

Madge smiles and waves, it's not exactly fake but it's clear she's not as enthusiastic as she's making out. When the reach the train, Haymitch and Effie board but when Madge tries to follow Gale pulls her back and kisses her firmly on the lips. Madge frowns at him and the camera, as much a part of the kiss as they are. She'd said she was going to try and keep him out of it but I doubt she'd counted on Gale being the one to make a show out of it. His hands are still cupping her face when he moves to the side and murmurs something in her ear, she nods slightly and he kisses her cheek then lets her follow Haymitch and Effie on to the train.

People stare at Gale long after the train pulls out of the station, there is so much about it I don't even understand and I know more about the situation than most. To everyone else, not only has Gale crossed the boundaries set between town and seam, like I have, like my parents did, but he has crossed the boundaries drawn by the Capitol. Victors very rarely get married, after their games they sort of just fade away, unless they're someone like Finnick O'dair, or Madge.

When Gale spots us in the crowd he stops and gives a tight smile but doesn't come over and hurries away from the station with his head down

"Friendly" Rye mutters, I'm not sure but from what I remember, he and Gale have never seen eye to eye

"Is he alright?" Peeta murmurs

"I don't know, he might just want to get out of the crowd"

"You should check on him" Peeta gets that look in his eye, the one he gets when he's putting someone else before himself, which is all the time. I never understood Peeta's jealousy of Gale, until Peeta I never thought about anyone in this way, especially not Gale. I got a better idea of it when I saw Peeta interact with Delly Cartright, I don't think I'd ever been jealous in my life until that point, not that I'd admit it. Prim says I didn't have to, that it was written all over my face

"Are you sure?"

"I'll walk Prim home" a rush of something makes me bounce up on to the balls of my feet and press a kiss to his cheek. It's the first time I've kissed him, until now Peeta has instigated any affection between us

"I won't be late alright Prim" she nods and grins, she seriously may like Peeta even more than me.

By the time I'm free of the crowd I can't see Gale and going by the look on his face, there's only one place he'd be going. We haven't been in the woods at the same time since before Madge came home, when he wasn't at HQ he was at home and since Madge has been home I'm not sure he's been out here at all. It's not all him, I only get beyond the fence once or twice a week now. I'm with Peeta more than I care to admit and I've enjoyed the time I have with Prim being less strenuous. It's not like we've needed the extra game with the winnings Madge has brought to the district.

He's not at the overhanging rock that had become our unspoken base which poses a problem. There are at least six snare runs he could have followed from here and that's providing he isn't just wandering. It takes an hour for me to find him because he hadn't even bothered collecting the game caught in his snares along the way. He doesn't even hear me coming he's so out of it, he has his back to me but I know exactly what he's staring so intently at. This is where we farmed the strawberries we'd sell at the Mayor's back door. The area is no longer tidy and has become overgrown, a lot of the fruits wasted, left to go bad

"You're getting sloppy Hawthorne" I call to his back but he doesn't turn, he wipes his eyes and I stop in my tracks. I've never seen Gale cry "you must've sprinted here" I carry on in a light tone

"I couldn't stay knowing what I'd sent her off to" he murmurs

"You didn't send her off to anything"

"And we stopped taking strawberries"

"I hardly think that matters"

"It does!" he says forcefully, looking at me sternly "it does. I told her she's still Madge, I shouldn't treat her differently" I stare at him confused

"Do I need to remind you how you used to treat her?" Gale begins to glare at me then frowns and goes back to glowering at the strawberry patch

"You know I've never been very good at feeling useless"

"You're not being useless Gale, you're her ticket out of this" I freeze "that come out wrong"

"Not really, it's down to her to tell them about me and I know she's not going to, at least not in detail"

"Gale, Madge can take care of herself. Didn't she prove that in the games?"

"I just don't like not having any control in this. I hate not being able to protect her like I want to" I think of Prim, how it felt when her name was drawn from that bowl and I get it. There's nothing I can say or do to alleviate how he's feeling, I can only wait. All anyone can do is wait.


	41. Chapter 41

**Madge**

I can't deny the rush I get from seeing signs of the rebellion, defiance spray painted on walls and revenge in the shape of bonfires. District 11 is overrun with peacekeepers, they form an unbroken ring around the crowd and stage as I give the speech written by Effie but I can't help thinking they wouldn't be enough. When I make mention of the districts fallen tributes, both had been killed in the bloodbath, the anger simmering under the surface is palpable. I can feel the hate in them, I can feel how ready they are to fight back.

District 10 is even worse. Their tributes had paired up, had showed a united front and then been torn apart by the capitols mutation. A planned move on behalf of the gamemakers and president I'm sure, in fact I'm certain. The mutation had targeted alliances, my stomach churns at the memory. At mention of their fallen tributes, district 10's citizens lash out. They pull a peacekeeper into the crowd and all that comes back out is his helmet, then another is shot with the firsts gun and I'm ushered off stage and on to the train all in one movement. There's more than one gun being fired as the train pulls out of the station.

9 is uneventful, in comparison. 8 is where Haymitch gets messages from Paylor, updates on when they'll be ready. In 7 the messages are passed on to Blight, a fellow victor and we are given more information which is to be passed on to Finnick in 4. District 6, we're met with silence. The people in 5 applaud me for killing the careers that tortured their tributes, I have to take a pill Effie offers me to get over that. 4 is different, laid back, like the citizens don't have a care in the world. That is until their tributes faces are displayed above the crowd. The girls death may have been accidental but both their tributes died by 12's hands. Finnick is wanted in the Capitol, so that night we stay up in one of the recreational carts and drink with Haymitch, though they restrict me to two drinks. The last three districts are the ones I thought would be worst but 3 seem bored with the entire thing, resigned, 2 are just angry their four year streak has come to an end and 1 cheer me.

My welcome to the capitol is loud. It's the first time I've returned to the Capitol, officially and no expense has been spared by the looks of it. I have an outfit for arriving at the station and another for arriving at the stadium where my interview with Ceaser will be held. It's no surprise when I'm taken to a dressing room and they start all over again. Flavius and Octavia undress me and begin the cleansing process all over again. They're washing the products from my last change out of my hair when the door opens

"Cinna!" hair whipping water around the room, I leap from the chair and wrap my arms around him. I haven't seen him since my first visit to the Capitol

"Hello Madge"

" You've been very busy?"

"He's all anyone wants to wear these days"

"Explains why everyone doesn't look stupid anymore" I murmur

"Oh how I've missed you" Cinna chuckles

"I've missed you too. And it's true, the few who are worthy of your clothes look amazing Cinna"

"I've kept my favourites for you" he pushes a wet strand of hair behind my ear and taps my nose with his knuckle "back in the chair" I do as he says cringing at the mess I've made on the floor

"Sorry"

"We'll get someone in to mop it up" Flavius reassures me but looking at the heels Octavia and Venia are wearing that could be a deadly mixture

"How are you feeling?" Cinna asks when he returns with garment bags. Effie must've told him about Snow's little deal

"Nervous" I croak

"I'm sure it'll be alright, Ceaser always asks the right questions" I sit up slightly so I can see him and he gives me a meaningful look "nothing too serious, how you've been, enjoying your winnings ... love life" Ceaser's been told to ask about Gale, I don't even have to worry about bringing it up myself

"I'm not sure I have anything to say about my love life" I say quietly. At this Cinna turns to look at me with worried eyes. He knows what'll happen if I don't sell this love story, if I don't go out there and give them something new, they'll take my body. Cinna will be commissioned to design lingerie and revealing outfits. If he refuses they'll go somewhere else, somewhere worse, so he'll do as they ask and do the best he can for me

"I'm certain there's something" he forces out

"Oh Madge! Do you have a fancy man?" Octavia gushes "a handsome young boy to keep our victor company. It's the one you spoke about isn't it" she squeals "in the games"

"You'll ... have to wait and see" I stammer.

Once my hair has been dried and combed to glossy perfection, Venia takes a hot iron to it, so it's sleek and longer than usual. Flavius grumbles a little that my nails aren't what they used to be but nail care is the last thing on my list of priorities. After agonising he applies fake ones and shapes them in to sharp points, like claws, I want to pull them off. When he paints them a dark colour similar to dry blood I feel like the lion mutt from the games and avoid looking at my hands again. Cinna takes over once Venia is happy with how straight my hair is, he starts by plaiting the front of my hair, then back combs the hair underneath so it's coiffed up and I raise an eyebrow at him. He smirks at me in the mirror and begins pinning things in place. By the time he starts on my make up I know he's styling me almost the exact way he did for the tribute parade. Same hair style, same dark and dramatic eye make up, same rich deep lipstick, same bronze glow.

My bodysuit is only slightly different, made from the same material and surprisingly comfortable. Where the first one I wore showed my chest and stomach, this one comes high up and fastens like a choker around my neck. It shows my arms and my back, nothing else

"Can I ask why you've chosen to dress me like this?" I ask as he stands behind me adjusting my hair

"You've never looked more strong to me than you did the day I first saw you"

"That was your styling Cinna" I point out, he shakes his head

"Not the day of the tribute parade" he tells me "the day you volunteered" I frown in confusion, if that were the case I should be stood here in a simple white sundress

"So why this?"

"Because they don't see strength for what it really is. I took what I saw the day you volunteered and I translated it for them" I'm not sure I understand him completely but he's been right about everything so far

"So this is about me looking strong?"

"And dangerous, this is about not letting anyone think they can control you, own you or misuse you" I swallow the lump in my throat as I catch his meaning "and a little about defiance" he whispers "come on, showtime".


	42. Chapter 42

It's the same big introduction as always, Ceaser yells and the noise is deafening, I acknowledge the audience and take a seat

"I'm so excited to see you again" Ceaser begins

"Likewise Ceaser, of course. I have missed the Capitol so"

"And it, you. Tell me, how is life as our latest victor?"

"It's wonderful to see my district enjoying the spoils of the victory with me. I have a lot of free time now that I no longer attend school so I'm free to do the things I like. And of course from now on I'll be free to come to the Capitol more often"

"How excellent, what does your father, the mayor say?"

"He's proud, as he always was but glad to have me home I think"

"And your mother?" I almost narrow my eyes at him, what are they playing at? No one knows the exact state of my mother but they have to know it's bad from the amount of morphling we send for

"She feels the same way" I say simply

"And you say you'd like to visit the Capitol more?"

"Yes" I nod

"How does your beloved feel about that?" Ceaser grins and my breath gets caught in my chest

"My beloved?"

"Oh! Such a tease. You promised to keep us updated, so do tell, who is this fine young man?" Ceaser sweeps his arm back, indicating to a screen that fills the stage. On it, Gale and I, kissing on the platform

"Ceaser" I blush "that's not a very flattering close up"

"Nonsense" he booms "do tell" I catch myself chewing my lip and free it from my teeth immediately. I remember Cinna's words, about being strong, untouchable and I straighten my back

"What would you like to know?" Ceaser grins and fidgets excitably, I ignore the reaction of the crowd

"What's his name?"

"Gale" just Gale

"And how did you meet?"

"District 12 isn't very big Ceaser" I laugh, mentioning that he and Katniss brought strawberries from beyond the fence probably isn't the best idea

"And is he the one you spoke of with your district partner in the games?"

"Yes, that would be the one"

"My goodness" Ceaser gushes "I wonder what Mr. O'dair has to say? Finnick, what are your thoughts?" this time Finnick's in the audience, seated by a woman far older than himself and made up with black and blue, down to her midnight lips and black irises. She's clearly paying for his company and she's struggling between grinning for all the attention and scowling for not having Finnick's

"I told you before Ceaser, he's a lucky man. What kind of person would I be if I tried to take her from him" real subtle Finnick, I grin at his threatening tone "for anyone to try would be treason" he continues and I raise an eyebrow in the hopes he'll tone it down a bit "they have my full blessing" he grins

"Well well, there you have it folks. Now I have to ask about your outfit" Ceaser says turning back to me, I breathe deeply with relief

"Ask away, you know I'm always happy to talk about Cinna's artistry"

"It reminds me of how we first saw you here in the Capitol, at the tribute parade"

"You have a keen eye Ceaser" it couldn't be more obvious "we thought it fitting, that I go out the way I started, ready and willing to fight"

"Oh how excellent, how exciting. Speaking of exciting, I believe his new collection is to be unveiled soon"

"And no one is more excited than me Ceaser"

"Will you be wearing a piece soon, to the finale of the tour at the Presidential Palace?"

"I'm sure no matter what Cinna has planned, it will be stunning"

"I think I'll have to agree with you ... and I believe I speak for us all when I say I can't wait to see what you'll be wearing for the tours grand finale"

"It'll be a surprise to us both Ceaser"

"The president's mansion, that must be exciting too huh?" not exactly

"Of course, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to it"

"We all are, we all are" he smiles "it's been wonderful seeing you again Madge"

"Wonderful" I agree, letting him kiss my hand. I thought being here would get easier but knowing what I've exposed Gale and his family to has my stomach rolling. So much for keeping him out of it, they have not just his name but his face. I know I'm not going to make it to privacy, so I'm barely off the stage before Flavius squeals at the realization I'm vomiting on his glittered black boots

"Oh goodness" Portia murmurs, clearing her throat "let's get you some water shall we?"

"I'm sorry Flavius, I'll replace them" he nods dumbly and follows as the entourage try to tidy me up. I'm sure there's lipstick smudged up my cheek

"Are you alright Dear?" Effie stops me and looks me up and down. She doesn't mean to, I know that but her gaze lingers on my stomach and seven pairs of eyes bulge "let's get you washed off and in to something comfortable" I'll never understand how she can move so quickly in the lethal shoes she wears but even in my sturdy boots I have to hurry to keep pace with her "wait here" she instructs the prep team, Portia and Cinna, when we reach a dressing room and slams the door on them without reply. She turns to me with a purpose and takes a hold of my shoulders "are you? Is it possible?"

"No of course not" I assure her quickly

"This is crucially important Madge. Are you absolutely sure you aren't pregnant?"

"What?!" Effie flinches at the volume of Haymitch's voice and then again when he slams the door shut behind him "Pregnant?! Just wait 'til I get my hands on that boy"

"Haym-"

"That little shit" he cuts me off "I never trusted him. I knew this was a bad idea"

"If you remember correctly, I thought it was a bad idea. He's as trustworthy as they come and hells teeth, we've barely kissed. I am not pregnant!"

"He's a good 'un that Hawthorne. Didn't doubt him for a second" Haymitch nods and I roll my eyes "Cinna said you were tossing your cookies"

"Cinna would not have been so vulgar" Effie grimaces

"I'm fine, I just want to get this over with" they each give me their own rendition of a sympathetic smile and together we exit the dressing room. My prep teams' excitement dies and my embarrassment flares when Haymitch shoos them away from the door with the proclamation that no, I'm not pregnant.


	43. Chapter 43

Cinna has a nervous excitement about him when he arrives with my outfit and that makes me anxious. Cinna is never unsure

"Something wrong?"

"I hope you like it" he hangs up the bag and keeps a wary eye on me as he unzips it "well?" it's beautiful, obviously, of course it is. As Cinna removes the garment bag only one thing comes to mind, armour

"It's amazing" I reach out and touch the metallic material, almost surprised when it gives to my hand, it looks so real, like liquid silver. The bottom of the dress is more charcoal but changes in the light and the tail looks almost black "what's this?" I stop myself before touching the delicate decoration that covers the bodice and continues off the dress and above my shoulder

"It's alright, it's wired, it won't break"

"It looks like sugar work" I comment, noticing the similarity between the finery on the dress and the intricate work Peeta has been practicing for years

"That's exactly where I got the idea, your friend the baker is a fine artist"

"Takes one to know one"

"I'd like to collaborate with him one day"

"I'm sure he'd love that"

"You're happy with the dress?"

"It's perfect, why were you so worried?" Cinna grins and something mischievous crosses his face. He turns the dress and my stomach sinks. From shoulder to ribcage the dress disappears "I see"

"I know we're trying to play down the lust side of things but desire holds a lot of power Madge"

"I trust you" I sigh "besides if a deal's already been struck-"

"We don't know that, let's just get you through tonight alright".

I'm disappointed when my prep team don't do much. The one time I could've done with hours of postponing they just touch me up with natural looking make up and a simple bun

"That's it?"

"Cinna's orders" Venia shrugs. At mention of his name, Cinna joins us from the other side of the room

"I'm afraid that's not it no. Could we have a minute?" dutifully my prep team leave the room and Portia locks it behind them. When Cinna walks over to a cupboard in the corner of the room I turn to watch him as he takes an ornate box from what I can only assume is a secret compartment "I knew these would come in handy when I bought this place" he chuckles

"You have more than one secret compartment in here?"

"There's about 8 on each floor, I'm not even sure I've found them all"

"That's quite cool"

"I thought so" Portia agrees

"Anyway" Cinna continues "these are for you" he says, flipping open the lid of the box. Inside it's lined with royal blue velvet and set in the centre are two beautifully intricate hair pins "your dress was styled off these" he tells me

"They're beautiful … but why go through the trouble of hiding them?"

"Beautiful but deadly" Portia grins "they're just in case you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation tonight"

"The pins contain a strong sedative" Cinna clarifies "so if any deals have been made you have a way out. Anyone spiked with this will be unconscious within the minute and will wake up with no recollection of anything up to an hour before the drug is administered"

"You think I could get away with that?"

"It's worth a shot".

Cinna applies a little more colour to my face, including a dark red lipstick, while Portia pulls my hair into curls at the base of my neck. When she's done I have curls framing my face and loose tendrils escaping the bun

"There, you're perfect"

"Almost" Cinna says taking the first pin from the box

"Careful with that" I joke as he slides the second pin in to the bun

"We can only hope you don't have to use them".

The party is overwhelming, if it weren't so garish it might be nice. The food is the best money can buy and the entertainment, though not to my taste, is upbeat. The people on the other hand are a nightmare. So far I've let Effie introduce me to those she thinks best. Some I recognise as allies of the rebellion, some as Capitol socialites, others; dangerous.

"Madge, meet Plutarch Heavensbee, gamemaker to be" the man that turns is small, stout, not quite what I was expecting

"A pleasure Miss Undersee" but there's something about him, an air of knowing

"Mr Heavensbee"

"I'm so happy to finally meet you"

"Good to put a face to the name" I agree

"Perhaps a dance?" he gestures to the dance floor with a sweep of his arm and I follow curiously "congratulations on your victory, I was excited to see it, though I didn't doubt it. You're volunteering was a surprise though"

"It was necessary" I tell him firmly, I don't care what plans I disrupted. Saving Prim was the right decision

"Yes it was, that's indisputable. My question is what next?" Plutarch notices my uncomfortable glances at the people closest to us and sighs "no need to worry, their too wrapped up in themselves to be listening to us"

"I hardly think it's safe to talk here"

"Perhaps you're right" he takes out a pocket watch and I watch in fascination as a mockingjay is projected from between the two halves "I have to be going"

"Somewhere important?" if I'm going to be in the Capitol, I better get something out of it

"I'm to be head gamemaker for the quell"

"Not this year's games?"

"Afraid not. Tonight I meet with my fellow gamesmen to discuss specifics"

"Like the arena?"

"Like the rule change" he whispers

"I was lead to believe they couldn't be accessed yet"

"A lot of people are lead to believe a lot of things. A new plan is in place" he says meaningfully "again Miss Undersee, a pleasure. Enjoy the party, it's all for you".

I circulate some more until I feel I physically can't without a drink and pick up a glass of something pink and sparkling

"Madge" he breathes across my neck and I groan inwardly

"Alias, how've I managed to avoid you all night?" I grin falsely "what do you want?"

"I thought you'd never ask" I can't help my grimace "so you're little boyfriend, is it serious?"

"I don't see how that's any of your business"

"It's a simple question"

"I gave you a simple answer"

"No matter, it won't change anything" he smirks

"Ladies and Gentlemen" an announcer cuts in "President Coriolanus Snow of Panem" the applause dies out when the president holds up a hand and all eyes are on him as he walks to the edge of the balcony at the back of his mansion

"Welcome everyone, to our celebration. Of our returning victor … Madge Undersee" he let's them applaud "and also reaching the halfway mark between her victory and the next games. Join me, in celebrating her and the crucible of the Hunger Games" he meets my gaze as everyone raises a glass "Our Victor" he smiles.

I look back at Alias with a sickly smile I've come to master and he licks his lips obviously, yeah yuck!

"If you'll excuse me, I must speak with the president"

"Give my regards won't you".

The peacekeepers guarding the president are in black rather than their usual white but are still easy to spot. They're wearing helmets for goodness sake. However, they let me on to the balcony without a word

"Madge!"

"President Snow"

"Are you enjoying the festivities?"

"I am, or was, until Mr Clarke made himself heard" the president chuckles "he insinuated" snow quirks an eyebrow "he insinuated I am to be his"

"He did, did he?"

"Last time we spoke you said he had bought me with a list?" the president sighs

"Won't you join me in the drawing room for a moment Madge?".

The drawing room is dark, the only light a lamp on the large desk by the window. When Snow walks over to it the different coloured lights from the party shine on his face making him look more monstrous than usual

"What was it you wanted to ask me about?"

"Alias Clarke and what he's offered you in way of payment"

"Ah yes" when he doesn't continue I clear my throat

"Well?"

"Are you aware Madge, that there is unrest in the districts?" shit. I bow my head "I expect you to honour our agreement of being honest"

"I suspected, that something might be wrong"

"You suspected?"

"I could see smoke from the train and there were more peacekeepers than I've ever seen before"

"Then I don't suppose you know that the people acting against myself and the Capitol and Panem itself are acting under a banner depicting your mockingjay"

"My mockingjay Mr President?"

"The pin you wore during the games"

"It was my aunts"

"Yes your aunt, she was in the 50th games?"

"She was"

"She wore that pin?"

"No Mr President, she gave it to my mother the day she was reaped"

"Of course she did, if she'd worn it in the quell, it would not be in your possession now"

"Yes. Mr President, what does this have to do with Alias Clarke?"

"Oh nothing, never you mind about Alias Clarke"

"Am I … to be sold?"

"That remains to be seen Madge".


	44. Chapter 44

The journey back home isn't the quiet relief I was hoping for. The president hasn't yet sold me or threatened anyone I care about but he did mention the rebellion and my possible ties to it. On top of that Alias Clarke is accompanying Haymitch and I back to 12.

The party had ended officially in the early hours of the morning but we had no desire to stay in the Capitol any longer. Haymitch had already met with everyone he needed to and was waiting for me at the station when I arrived, still wearing the dress and a cloak Effie had had waiting for me.

Alias was waiting for us when we boarded, draped over a posh couch in the bar car with a glass of something clear in one hand and a pastry of some sort in the other

"I think I'll drink in my room tonight" I glare at Haymitch's back for his treachery as he leaves

"I think I'll retire too"

"That an invitation?" he smirks, I sigh in exasperation "won't you join me for a drink first?"

"I really am just so tired" I smile and he stands

"I'll ask once more"

"And then what?" coolly, calmly, Alias crosses to the bar and puts down what's left of his treat and the empty glass after tipping the entire thing back

"You're beginning to test my patients Madeline. At first it was tantalising, arousing even but your involvement with that savage peasant boy is besmirching your image and therefore mine"

"Excuse me?"

"You're to cease any and all contact with him immediately"

"I do not take orders from you. How dare you insult someone like that" Alias grits his teeth and his fists clench "I know you are not used to hearing the word no but you might as well get used to it from me" he slams his fist against the bar making something the other side clatter

"You're not- you're-. You are beneath me, you cannot defy me anything"

"You're drunk" I point out and leave the room, leaving him to stew in his own anger and stupidity.

I haven't really spent much time in the sleeping cars, I much prefer to stay in the communal carts where the avoxes go about their tasks quietly. That and the finery annoys me, one of these carts could furnish multiple homes in the seam.

The dress, though comfortable, was beginning to feel heavy. So I let it fall to my feet and step out of it. After slipping a button up shirt on I drape the dress across the chez long in the corner of the room. My makeup comes off easily because there's not as much as usual and lastly I slip the lethal pins out of my hair and place them on the cabinet beside the large bed before climbing in to it.

I'm in the president's drawing room again, the coloured lights making strange shapes on the walls and framing a figure at the window. They don't move as I walk towards them or acknowledge me in any way, they just stand there, lifeless. When I finally reach them and carefully hold up my hand to touch their arm he falls to the ground. As if he had been balanced, now he lays on his back, staring up at me. The eyes that once held so much warmth, vacant and unfocused.

I'm woken by the door to my cart opening and think nothing of it until the haphazard footsteps that follow, come to a stop outside my room. There's a lot of clattering and then the door swings open, though it's definitely meant to be locked

"Alias get out"

"I've come for my goodnight kiss" he slurs, stumbling across the room

"Alias go back to your carriage and sleep it off"

"Not without my kiss" he falls forward and really he's lucky the bed is there because he's too drunk to even put his hands out to break the fall "come here Madge" he laughs, pulling on my ankles

"Stop it Alias"

"Come on, come here" he must gain sobriety for a few seconds because this time when he pulls, I slide down the bed and end up underneath him

"Stop this, right now!"

"Why would I pay for something I can have right here?"

"Stop! Alias stop it!" he puts more weight on me and tries to pin my hands down "Go back to your room and we can forget all about this"

"Nice try sweet cheeks" he slides a hand up my thigh and almost reaches the bottom of my nightshirt before I snatch one of the hair pins off the nightstand and jam it in to the back of his neck "Ow! You little bitch" he manages one quick slap across my cheek, his ring catching me, before I use my legs to hurl him off the bed and that's where he stays. I get what I wanted all along and sleep in a communal car with an avox or two wandering around.

Alias pretty much sticks to his room after that, at least I don't see him and when we pull in to 12, the small bruise under my eye is already smaller but there's still the slightest hint of the initials AC from his ring. Gale and my father sit on a bench on the platform and when the train door opens they look haggard. I'm not sure who to go to so I'm grateful when my father steps back and gestures for Gale to move forward. It's only out of respect for my father and maybe Haymitch, I don't run and jump at him, instead we wrap our arms around each other tightly and he tucks my head under his chin

"Did they- did they hurt you?" he chokes

"No" I shake my head and inhale deeply, pine needles and smoke

"What's this?" he asks, stroking the pad of his thumb under my eye

"Nothing, I'm fine"

"What happened?" when he squints slightly I know he's seen the tiny letters and something animalistic flares in his eyes

"Nothing" his eyes burn as he glares at something behind me and I'm surprised that he's gentle when he guides me in the direction of my father

"Did you hit her?!" he takes Alias by the collar and slams his against the train "say it!"

"Unhand me!"

"Gale stop, dad let me go"

"Let the boy be, give the scummy rat what he deserves" Haymitch answers, taking a seat and swigging from his flask

"Don't. You. Ever. Touch. Her. Again." Each word is punctuated with a punch. By the end of the sentence Alias is curled over, clutching his stomach and three peacekeepers have come from nowhere to restrain Gale

"Let him go!" I demand

"No" Alias yells, all be it rather weakly but he still argues "arrest him he attacked me"

"Let him go!" I counter

"I'm a Capitol official, he attacked me. Arrest him!" No matter how loud a shout, how much my father tries to reason, how strongly Haymitch cusses, Gale is taken in to custody and escorted to the jailhouse.

Apparently during the tour a new head peacekeeper was brought in with double the officers we've had 'til now. Cray is missing, believed to be dead, Darius is feeding my father all the information he can.

When Alias Clarke emerges from a room with a tall, sharp looking man in the head peacekeepers uniform he looks smug. As he passes me, he takes my hand and kisses it. I can't even take pleasure in the way he winces as he bends. Not long after a door opens and a man is dragged out by his arms. The two peacekeepers dragging him are the only thing holding him up and he has a sack smeared with blood over his head. As they pass us I get a whiff of pine needles and smoke.


	45. Chapter 45

My father is all but holding me together as Haymitch yells at a stoic peacekeeper. They won't tell us where Gale's been taken, they loaded him in to a van and haven't said anything since. When my father suggests we go home, I give him a look colder than ice but what else can I do from here. As we get nearer to the square things start to get weird, people rush past us and besides the scuffle of shoes on gravel, there's silence. Then I hear it, something foreign but oddly familiar, a quiet whistle then a slap. As we draw closer to the square, the sequence gets louder and is followed by a grunt. When it becomes a cry my heart sinks to my stomach and my chest constricts to the point of agony

I run without looking, just let my feet carry me as fast as I can make them, I don't stop when a crowd blocks my path and I don't stop when I slip on the cobbles slick with blood. I land on my hands and knees in the middle of the square. Right next to the post where Gale is strung up, his blood covers most of the square and I swear I can feel small chunks of flesh under my hands. In front of me the new head peacekeeper has his arm raised above his head and the whip ready for the next blow

"No!" I bow my head as I hear the whistle and hold out my arm to block more of Gale. The whip, slick with the warm wetness of Gale's blood, wraps itself around my hand and the heat is what I feel first, then searing pain as the tears in my skin open. When the head peacekeeper tries to pull back the whip I clench my fist and let it slice a little deeper. I pull on the whip and he takes the baton from his belt. When I step back to shield more of Gale I can feel the heat radiating off his back and his breathing is too shallow

"That's enough" I force out, I'm squeezing the whip so hard it feels like it's cut through to the bone

"Move away, or you're next"

"I said that's enough!"

"Stop, stop, stop" Haymitch comes to a stop between me and the head peacekeeper and holds up his hands "don't tell me you don't recognise her. Madge Undersee" the man's eyebrows furrow "Victor, darling of the Capitol"

"She interfered with a peacekeeper"

"So she doesn't think things through, the boy's had enough"

"He's sentenced to 40"

"He probably aint gonna make it. If he was sentenced to death it should be by firing squad … It's Thread right, you're new here, trust me I'm trying to help you. Let it go and we will too"

"Next time it will be the firing squad and I don't care who she is"

"You got it!"

"Clear the square! You're all under curfew. Anyone out after dark, will be shot on sight!" I watch Thread leave then drop to the ground beside Gale's limp body

"Gale? Gale please" he groans, it's barely audible but it's there "it's okay, you're gonna be okay" I don't know why I'm surprised when Thom kneels down beside me with a long wooden counter top. He and the three Mellark's carry Gale to the Seam with Haymitch and as much as I don't want to leave him, I know he won't survive this without morphling.

I don't even make it to the front door of my old house, my father meets me at the front gate with a box I recognise from my mother's bedside cabinet

"I can't take it all"

"He'll need it" my father urges "she'll be fine, go to him" I bounce onto my toes and kiss my father's cheek quickly

"Thank you daddy".

He's so pale, his olive skin grey and the table soaked with yet more of his blood

"Mrs Everdeen, I have morphling" I almost scream at her as she struggles with a needle but stop myself in time for Prim to take it from her "can you save him?"

"I-I don't know, we haven't had whippings for years. I can only try and keep infection away"

"What do you need? I can get whatever you need"

"Bandages, anything else he needs would come too late" Peeta must see the look on my face because he leads me outside before I can explode.

"This is all my fault"

"No, no Madge it's not"

"Of course it is, all of it is my fault"

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself" Bannock is the eldest Mellark but I didn't notice how much older he was starting to look "he knew what he was doing and he stuck up for something he believed in. I for one, think we could do with more of that around here"

"Feeling guilty isn't going to help anyone Madge" Peeta murmurs, brushing my arm "shit, Madge, your hand!" I untuck my hand from under my arm and grimace. It's gruesome but not as bad as I thought, the slices aren't deep enough to have done real damage – I hope "come inside we need to get that seen to"

"No! No not until Gale's taken care of".

Prim stitches my palm up and wraps my hand in gauze that's been oiled with healing herbs. She says I'll have to change them twice a day to keep out infection and do hand exercises to make sure I still have feeling and mobility.

It takes two days for him to rouse fully and when he does the pain is so bad they have to give him enough morphling that he passes out again. By the fourth day they wake him so he can eat, the few cups of water he'd had whenever he was alert enough to drink were probably being sweat off within minutes.

The first thing he sees when he wakes are Posy's wide eyes as she peeps over the edge of the table. Her plaits are untidy from where she'd slept on my lap this morning after Hazelle brought her over early and her nose is a little runny from crying.

"Pose?"

"Hello Gale" she whispers "are you alright?"

"I've been better" he whispers back "why are we whispering?"

"Mama says I have to whisper so we don't wake you up"

"Oh"

"Does it hurt?"

"Nah, it's not so bad"

"Good, are you going to come home now?"

"I don't know Pose" she sighs

"Fine. Are you at least gonna get off the table?"

"I'm gonna try" he laughs and winces. When I see the pain etched on to his face I move forward to help, not that there's much I could do and he notices me for the first time "Hey Pose, will you go and get Ma please" When Posy is out of sight Gale turns his head to face me properly and attempts a smile

"I'm so sorry" he shakes his head slightly

"You're here"

"Of course I'm here"

"Just kidding, I knew you would be" he grins

"Try not to move too much"

"How bad is it?"

"They say it was between 25 and 30 lashes" I sniff

"I bet it's quite a picture" tears blur my vision and I blink them away

"I'm so sorry" I choke, taking his hand in mine and kissing his bruised knuckles. Besides the whipping he was beaten before hand

"I'd do it again" he murmurs "what happened to your hand?"

"It's nothing" I tell him, hiding the bandage under the table

"Isn't that what got us in to this mess" he smiles weakly

"You wouldn't be here if it weren't for me" he cups my cheek

"I'm right where I want to be".


	46. Chapter 46

Prim teaches me how best to apply dressings and ointments to Gale's wounds. He won't let me do it at first, throwing some sort of tantrum over my hand and then getting even angrier about bruise that's yellowing on my cheek. No matter how many times I tell him I'm okay, that I can barely feel it – not a total lie, I have lost a worrying amount of feeling in my hand - and that he should be worrying solely about himself.

That evening he's too exhausted to put up a fight and I start to treat his back without him even knowing it's me. It takes me longer than it does Prim but I want to be sure I'm not causing him unnecessary pain and my hand definitely isn't cooperating like it should.

Prim and Katniss are at the bakery and Mrs Everdeen is with Hazelle the next morning when I'm changing Gale's bandages. He's been stuck on the Everdeen's kitchen table for a week now and he's getting antsy

"Even if you could get home, which I doubt you could, you wouldn't be able to move much once you were there. You'll be as frustrated there as you are here"

"But it's been a week, I'm not even just a convenience anymore"

"You'd do it for Katniss wouldn't you?"

"I'd bring her straight here to her mother if it was her so that's irrelevant" he points out mockingly

"You know what I mean"

"I'm fed up of relying on other people to do stuff for me. Except you, you can carry on running to my beck and call" he teases. He puckers his lips and I roll my eyes at him "catering to my every whim?" I shake my head at him "fulfilling my every desire?" I yawn "you know you want to" I do, we both know it but I'm not going to give in just yet "are you going to make me beg?" I know he's joking but seeing his frame beaten and bloody, looking down at the small smudges of his blood on my hands

"Fine, but only so you'll stop nagging" I lean over his shoulder carefully and press my lips to his gently

"Nuh uh, more" he grins and turns his head to face me, the movement pulls on his shoulder and he hisses as a gash reopens

"Not today" I tell him apologetically.

While Gale sleeps I think about what he's said, he can't stay here much longer, being at his own house would be even more inconvenient, there's more of them. For a moment I think he should recuperate at my house in Victor's Village but I can't imagine Hazelle or my father being completely on board with that. Which leaves Haymitch, Gale could stay there, he'd be looked after, have proper meals and medicine. I could spend a day cleaning there and it would be better than the irremovable grime of the Seam.

We move him the following evening, leaving Hazelle, Mrs. Everdeen and Rory time to get home before the curfew. He strops the entire way, hating being in the wheelchair my mother used to use but he can't walk it. Haymitch's house still reeks but it's nowhere near as bad, it's masked be bleach and citrusy cleaning smells from the hours she'd spent scrubbing every surface that day. The kitchen is now presentable, as is the main living area, though some stains just couldn't be budge. I'd spent the longest on the guest bedroom I thought Gale would like most, it wasn't dirty or messy, in fact it hadn't been touched. So much so everything was coated in a layer of dust, I'd had to wear a bandana over her my just to be in there.

"If you can't manage the stairs you can sleep in the living room, we moved the day bed from my study in there earlier" I explain, wheeling Gale in to the entryway

"Can I get out of the damn chair now" he huffs

"Slowly, don't pull anything" Hazelle helps her son up and over to the day bed she'd mentioned before returning to the hallway

"Are you sure about this?"

"You've got enough on your plate, and let's face it he'd only be in the way. I have nothing to do all day so I can take care of him, the kids can come here after school if they want. Once I've got the place cleaned up that is"

"It makes me anxious that he'll be so far away"

"He doesn't have to be. Why don't you come and stay with me? All of you?"

"Oh no, that's not necessary but I'll send Rory around for news?"

"Of course, whenever you want" the look on Hazelle's face is one of deep concern so carefully I reach for her arm "he'll be alright here Hazelle, I think he and Haymitch might actually do each other some good"

"I'm not sure I want Haymitch rubbing off in my son" Hazelle raises an eyebrow at the older man as he burps loudly making Madge smile

"He'd never admit it but Haymitch likes Gale and even if he didn't- he'll take care of him … for- for your husband's sake" Hazelle's eyes sadden considerably and my gut twists "I'm sorry"

"No, it's nice to know he's looking after them in some way … even though he's gone" she gives a sad smile "Madge? What happens after? When he's healed, they'll be watching him now. What if-" she frowns "what if they catch him outside the fence? They'll kill him"

"We'll speak to him, things are different now he'll understand" she's sceptical, we both know how stubborn her son is "Hazelle … I don't know how much Mr. Hawthorne-"

"He'd have liked you to call him Hunter" she cuts me off

"I don't know how much Hunter" I continue hesitantly "told you about what he was involved in, I don't know what Gale has told you and I don't know where you stand in regards to the idea of rebellion but I'm not going to let something like this happen again. I should have never let it get to the point it did, I never should have let it happen in the first place. I hope to earn your trust, after this I know it will be hard, it might never happen but I'm going to try"

"Oh Madge, you dear, sweet girl. This wasn't your doing, goodness knows Gale can't always control his fire. And as far as trusting you goes, I know enough to know you deserve my faith in you" she clutches my hands "now please don't be offended but you look about ready to keel over. Rest" it's an order "I'll send Rory around tomorrow, after school"

"Alright"

"Thank you, I know you'll take good care of him" I'm surprised when Hazelle hugs me, a real hug not some fleeting thing.

While Gale dozes in the living room with Haymitch keeping an eye on him, I go across the courtyard to my own house for cleaning supplies and bedding that doesn't reek. I'm so set in the task that I don't see the note on the kitchen counter until I'm on my way out.

'Madeline,

It has been decided a ball will be held in honour of your seventeenth birthday, at the Mayoral Mansion of your home district. Many a guest have been invited to the event on your behalf, all of which have an innate interest in our dearest victor. Your guests are distinguished men and women like yourself, I ask you show them the best in hospitality and show a willingness to comply with their wishes.

I will be expecting you in the Capitol the following week, perhaps to meet with any acquaintances from the celebration. It is in your best interests to follow through with my request, I trust you know this and will readily be prompt with your return to the Capitol.

President Coriolanus Snow'

Nothing about that letter sounds good, it means Capitol people in district 12 for a start. Reading the rest of the letter I'm willing to bet my 'distinguished guests' are the people who are bidding for my virginity and I'll have a week to wonder which of those 'guests' will be the one to outbid the others. On the up side, Snow threatened me and me alone.

The walk back to Haymitch's is bitterly cold, I feel like the blood, the warmth has been drained from my body, when I was finally beginning to feel human again.

"Cold out Sweetheart?" Haymitch calls as I wipe my feet, a first for his house I'm sure

"Icy" I drop the note as I pass him, letting it float to the table. He blinks and focuses on the paper, widening his eyes obviously not seeing clearly

"Well, shit".


	47. Chapter 47

Alias Clarke arrives on a train the next day, apparently he wasn't perturbed by the incident after he got the upper hand. It makes me feel sick to see him on the platform not a hair out of place, his bruises healed in an instant by Capitol products while Gale lays torn to shreds, probably never to fully recover. It's fitting really, his smirk says it all. Challenge us and you will lose.

"Madge, darling, how are you?" I gain nothing from having Alias Clarke in my arsenal, he has no leverage or influence, not even enough money to be helpful. For that reason I refuse to play nice with him

"What are you doing here?"

"You didn't know I was coming?"

"I was told to be here, I didn't know why. If I had I wouldn't have come"

"Oh you have a vicious tongue on you this morning" he grins "I do so love to think about that tongue" I don't hold back the repulsion, letting it show clearly on my face and glaring at him "what about the miner? Did he live?" I wonder if I could do enough damage to kill him before the surrounding peacekeepers pulled me off. I think I could, in fact I'm quite sure

"He's fine, staying with me in Victor's Village actually" something dangerous flashes in his eyes at the implication "he's a man, can take a hit" I poke further "how are _you_ feeling Alias, been patched up nicely I see"

"Couldn't very well come to your birthday celebration like that could I"

"It'd be very well if you didn't show up at all. That's why you're here is it? The ball?"

"Among other reasons".

I get back to Haymitch's before midday, checking on Gale first

"Where've you been?"

"How are you feeling?" I glaze over his question

"Fine, where have you been?" he asks more forcefully

"Have you eaten?"

"Mellark and Katniss brought bread, Madge?"

"Katniss and Peeta came by?" he turns to me, wincing slightly and his face is like stone

"Madge where have you been?" I sigh in resignation and look away from him, lifting his shirt and a bandage

"The train station" I try to sound indifferent but my previous apprehension proves it pointless

"Why?"

"Your back is looking much better, healing nicely"

"Madge!"

"He's back. Alias is back" Gale swallows

"Why?"

"The ball, he's got a hand in planning it, like the harvest festival"

"Shit" Gale hisses, clenching his fists

"He won't get near you Gale"

"It's not me I'm worried about. I can't protect you like this and he knows that" I can't help but smile, it's both sweet and amusing

"Gale, do you really think I couldn't handle him if he tried anything"

"He's slimy, he wouldn't play fair"

"That's true, but I have Haymitch"

"Haymitch? That's your defence?"

"Not that I need it" I remind him "but I'm not going to make anyone else suffer it unnecessarily"

"But you can invite whoever you want?"

"It's my birthday" I tease

"I want to be there, the Mellark's too. Could Darius be there?"

"It'd be too suspicious, I don't need bodyguards Gale"

"Madge" his voice wavers "please" he looks so desperate, so helpless

"We'll have to get you a tux" I smile at the relief as he visibly relaxes and takes my hand.

The discussion, it turns out, was all for nought. The next day Katniss shows up in Victor's Village with a very formal invitation to the event, addressed to her and Prim. It turns out Snow has taken matters into his own hands, sending an invite to the Everdeen's, the Hawthorne's, the Mellark's and in a twisted attempt to cause more pain, the Meadows'.

Portia visits with Lavinia to take measurements and design outfits for everyone who plans to accept the invitation. Thom takes the place of his parents, inviting Levy instead. All the Hawthorne's, the Mellark's, sans their resident witch and lastly Katniss and Prim. The large group, plus Haymitch and I are gathered in my parlour, they eye Portia and Lavinia carefully but say nothing

"This is Portia" I introduce her "her and Cinna dressed me while I was in the games and have done since then. She's going to take your measurements with the help of Lavinia here and then with any input of your own, design something for each of you to wear to this damned party"

"Why?" Levy's eyes narrow, she is still decidedly cold towards me but that's okay

"Because you'll stick out like a sore thumb if you don't" Haymitch answers "and once they know who you are the last thing you'll want is to stand out"

"If you're going to have to do this I'm going to make it as easy as possible for you" I add

"How-" Hazelle stops herself and leans forward slightly "how are we to pay for this?"

"Taken care of" I tell her matter of factly "who's first?" there's a silence before Posy peaks around her mother, looking at everyone else before stepping forward

"Can I have a pink one?".

It takes some coaxing and a lot of questions but eventually Portia has something in mind for everyone. She promises to return in no more than three days with everything we'll need. I hug both her and Lavinia at the train station, giving them messages to pass on to Effie and Cinna, by extension Plutarch. Before boarding the train Lavinia stops me and glances around before taking out her tablet, her message already written out

'_Watch Clarke. Determined for revenge. Be safe_' I frown at the tablet and give her a hard hug whispering my thanks and returning the sentiment to 'be safe' then wave the train off.

I visit my mother, spend an hour or so sat in silence, marvelling at the translucency of her skin. She seems even frailer than before, even with a steady flow of morphling. I leave after accepting she doesn't even know I'm there and prepare for the capitol citizens due to arrive over the next few days.

It's in passing a room that I choke on a breath. My piano, I haven't even thought about it since before the games, let alone played. I had forgotten its existence, caught up in more important things and the realisation takes my breath away. Music was solace for such a long time, I learnt to play before I started training and it was always the perfect distraction. It's just another comfort I've lost I suppose, along with Darius and HQ and communication with the other districts. Knowing I was useful. It's been long enough I decide, something has to change, something has to happen. It's with fire in my gut that I call Effie, asking her to arrange my passage to the Capitol.

I consider going to HQ, there's a chance Darius would be there. I'd like to discuss what I have planned with him but as I'm altering my route to duck zig-zag through alleys and out of sight, a tall figure blocks my path

"Madge, Darling. Just the person I wanted to see" I don't know why Alias is skulking in the shadows in the alley beside the butcher's but that's where he stops me

"Oh hell, why do you always crop up at the worst times?"

"Oh dear, sweet Madge. You don't mean that" he coos, stroking the backs of his fingers down my cheek

"Yeah, you're gross" I tell him, removing the offending hand

"You used to be so polite, I always knew you were a bad girl though" I shove past him, knocking his shoulder back forcefully. He makes a show out of it

"Oh Madge! I wish you hadn't done that" the next thing I know I can't breathe, he's yanking me back by my hood and I'm stumbling in to the wall. The back of my head thuds against the cool service and then he's got his tongue in my mouth "or maybe I'm glad you did" this time when he thrusts his tongue at me, I bite down. Blood pools in my mouth and he cries out. I'm spitting it out a mixture of saliva and blood when an older man happens across us. He does a double take when Alias pulls out a small knife and lunges at me

"Hey! Leave her be!" the man calls out as he runs towards us but Alias is already face down in the mud, his long body crippled slightly by the narrow alley "you alright miss?"

"Yes fine thank you. Not everyone would have stopped"

"In truth I didn't realise who you were. Obviously you can defend yourself but that doesn't mean you should have to" he smiles toothily "especially not against the likes of him" he adds, shoving Alias' shoulder with his boot

"Still, you did a good thing and I'd like to repay you. Madge Undersee" I say sticking out my hand

"Leon Smith" he smiles again, shaking it "say, is he dead?"

"No" I sigh sounding disappointed, it's not totally false "just gave him a good whack on the head, he'll be fine. I should probably get him back to the safety of the Mayor's house before another crazy gives knocks him out though"

"I'll give you a hand" With an arm over each of us, we drag Alias from the alley, he's surprisingly light for a full grown man. After a minute or so Leon starts sniffing at Alias like a curious puppy and I can't help but laugh "smell funny don't they" he chuckles

"Try being in a room full of them, it's pretty overpowering"

"I don't envy you there girlie, this one's bad enough" I smile at him again as we heave Alias up the porch steps of my parents' home. We hand him off to two of the on duty staff and I turn to Leon, digging a handful of coins from my pocket

"Here, I can't thank you enough"

"I didn't do anything" he says eyeing the coins

"You stopped, that's what matters. Besides you carried him back here and put up with the smell"

"You sure?" he narrows his eyes at me suspiciously and I smile a little

"Yes" I tell him, lifting his hand and pressing the money in to it "refill this" I say knocking the almost empty flask I could hear rattling around in his coat pocket

"Well, much obliged miss" he says shaking my hand again

"Thanks again".


	48. Chapter 48

Portia returns with Lavinia the day of the party with more garment bags than I've ever seen in one place, they use a trolley to cart them around. Flavius, Venia and Octavia aren't much better, trailing four trunks of cosmetics behind them.

"Women's hair and make-up and men's hair and make-up" Flavius explained

"Men's make-up?" Thom asked dubiously

"Just go with it" Haymitch grumbled

The house was chaos and I loved it. Everyone besides Haymitch and the Mellark's had taken turns showering or bathing in one of the five bathrooms before Portia, Lavinia and the prep teams got to work. I didn't even care that they insisted on waxing me again because everyone seemed to be having so much fun. Rye going so far as to try and wax Peeta's leg while he had his back turned, the howl could be heard from the other end of the house.

I'm sitting in the kitchen, grabbing a sandwich off one of the platters that's been laid out, when Portia shushes us from the top of the stairs

"Ladies" she greets us and we all turn to her, hair in curlers and donned in dressing gowns like something out of a capitol chick flick Effie would love "may I present … the boys" she applauds, cantering down the stairs to join us as Haymitch appears at the top of the staircase. He's in an electric blue suit, the colour Portia always puts him in. He grumbles as he descends and we follow Portia's applause. Mr. Mellark follows him in a plain black tux, waving us off and blushing a little bit as Hazelle wolf whistles teasingly. I almost choke on my sandwich from laughing. Peeta follows, blushing like his father and giving Katniss a crooked smile as she appreciates how wonderful he looks in the asymmetric white suit and black shirt he's dressed in. Rye puts on a performance and actually starts stripping out of his metallic forest green three piece. Bannock bows gracefully and descends the stairs in a deep maroon that compliments his brothers green perfectly. Thom looks very dashing in dark red. Gale of course, looks spectacular in navy blue, the suit has a metallic look to it like Rye's had but Rye isn't Gale. He winces when he reaches the bottom of the staircase, even with the creams and pain killers Portia brought and I go to him, careful not to place my hands on his back

"Very handsome" I murmur and he kisses my forehead

"Very indeed" Hazelle agrees "look at my boys" she gushes as Rory and Vick follow Gale, Rory in grey, and Vick in white

"We'll all have pictures later" I tell Hazelle as Portia reminds the men not to wrinkle their clothes.

Readying the females is a much longer process. Prim and Posy don't sit still for more than five minutes, getting excited about everything. Katniss squirms every time a make-up brush or hair utensil is brought anywhere near her and Levy isn't much better.

Hazelle is the first to be ready, she looks ten years younger with her hair up in a plaited bun and a bit of mascara. She'd been modest in what she told Portia, purple, simple A line with full sleeves. Portia had convinced her to go off the shoulder and balanced out the skirt with a few layers of folded satin around her bust and shoulders. Hazelle ready, manages to keep Posy seated long enough for Flavius to braid her ponytail in to six plaits before shaping them in to a flower. She squeals at the hair but gets angry when Hazelle tells her she's too young for make-up. They agree on her wearing some of Venia's candy flavoured lip gloss, then she's dressed in baby pink. An adorable little vest and puffy skirt with a white bow around her middle. Katniss helped Flavius plait Prim's hair into the most complicated type of waterfall braid but put up a fuss about sitting down to let him straighten her hair with a hot iron. She cringed the entire time but the result was a sheet of glossy ebony hair that fell to her mid back. The sister's chose simple styles, straight line dresses with spaghetti straps but Portia made Katniss' a bit more form fitting 'for the charming blonde downstairs' she'd winked. Katniss nearly melted. The two girls looked identical yet totally opposite, one blonde, blue eyed and in lilac. The other, dark haired, tan and in the darkest green. Levy had been a bit more daring, throwing ideas at Portia and letting them bounce back and forth. The result was a bright coral bodice with a flowing skirt made of sheer material that didn't reach her knees at the front. The back trailed out behind her, darkening to reds, pinks and orange as it hit the ground. She looked fierce, she wouldn't admit it but the capitol styles suited her and she knew it. She let them go all out with her hair and make-up. By the end of it she looked like one of them, only slightly more human.

Lavinia hums quietly as she curls my hair, I almost fall asleep but sit up when I feel something cold against my scalp. She's pinned the curls to one side so they fall over my shoulder. Holding them in place are several diamond incrusted slides like the ones Cinna gave me before

"Are they-?" I don't have to finish, she's nodding before I even get half way through the question. She hands me her tablet and goes back to styling my hair

'Just remember what I said about Clarke. He's after you'

"He already tried, I took care of it" I tell her, she shakes her head and takes the tablet back

'Don't underestimate him, I've never seen him like this. He wants you and he'll do whatever it takes to get you'

"What do you mean you've never seen him like this?"

'I served him before your games'

"Lavinia I'm so sorry, I can only imagine how he treated you"

'It could have been worse. He preferred the girls that still had tongues, didn't come to me much'

"Lavinia-" I choke only for her to shake her head and lean forward, wrapping her arms around my shoulders "never again okay? The next time you come back here, you're not leaving. You'll stay with me?" her smile is small but there are tears in her eyes when she nods.

By the time Portia comes in with my dress, all traces of tears are gone and Lavinia is colouring my lips with a shiny ruby red and dark crimson glitter

"Are you ready?" Portia smiles, hanging up the long garment bag

"As I'll ever be, how is everyone?"

"They're okay, the prep team is down there making them look more capitol" I snort

"How are they liking that?"

"More than you'd expect" she laughs "now here. We've been saving this one"

"Should I be worried?"

"No. Cinna and I were watching the opening of the games and he started sketching furiously. It was this dress, inspired by you running back to the cornucopia for Orion" I gasp at the name and Portia grabs my hands to keep me upright. It takes a few minutes for me to get my breathing back to normal after Lavinia gets a paper bag for me to breath in to "I'm sorry darling, I know it's hard. Here"

She hands me a card with my name on it, on the other side in Cinna's handwriting it says

'Because diamonds are rare and pure but indestructible to the core'

Curiosity gets the best of me and I unzip the garment bag Portia left on the back of the door. It's a sheet of the clearest diamonds, from the high collar to the long trail. Diamonds.

"Are these real?" I whisper

"Yes, every single one of them added by hand"

"I don't know what to say, it's beautiful"

"It'll look even better once it's on you".

The collar is fitted to my neck but isn't uncomfortable, I almost forget it's there. From there down the gown clings to my body before fanning out at after my knees. Again this dress is backless, it falls as low as it can without showing my bum, which is pronounced in the dress anyway. The trail is only about two foot long but I hate that the beautiful material is dragging on the ground. Between the dress, the diamonds in my hair and the delicate jewellery, I look like one big sparkle but as always; Cinna does it with style.

When everyone is gathered in the living area again I go to stand by Gale. I imagine the fight he put up against having brown eye liner drawn on to his bottom lids but tell him just how enticing his eyes are with the added colour.

"Listen up" Haymitch calls over various conversations "this is going to be hard. These people, they're very hard to be around and if they know who you are it'll only make them worse. My advice, follow in the steps of a friend of mine and 'abandon your moral judgement' you might just enjoy it. None of you have to stay, once Madge has had her big entrance you can leave but like I said. If he's going to make you do this, you may as well get something out of it"

"Are you ready?" Gale murmurs

"I guess, are you?"

"As I'll ever be. You look beautiful" he says, catching my hands in his. He gives me a quick kiss and his fingertips skim over the ring on my right hand "doesn't this clash with your outfit?" he smiles

"I threw a Posy style tantrum when they tried to take it off" not entirely untrue. I think I terrified Venia when she said I should remove it

"You really do look beautiful" he says lifting my hand and pressing his lips to the ring "I'm not sure it's such a good idea" I frown at him, not understanding and he smirks "I'm struggling to keep my hands off you, I doubt these idiots will have the same restraint"

"Well I'll just have to dance with you all night then won't I?"

"It's the only way" he grins.


	49. Chapter 49

It's probably as close to a capitol party as you can get. I barely recognise the house where I grew up, covered floor to ceiling in jewels and coloured fabrics so bright they're making me dizzy. The people are the same, dramatic colour schemes and extravagant headpieces. They look like a pack of the lion mutt I killed in the arena, hungry for their next kill. The whole thing is completely overwhelming and I'm used to it. I can only imagine how the others are feeling. As if on cue, Rye Mellark joins me in the corridor at the top of the stairs, where I am to make yet another grand entrance.

"Ridiculous isn't it?" I murmur, sensing him close to my side

"It's … something"

"I'm sorry you had to be here"

"It's not your fault and Abbernathy's right, pretend there isn't a starving district out there and it could be fun"

"Not all bad then?"

"No, the food is pretty excellent and I tell you what Madge, this underwear" I cut him off as laughter bubbles up my dry throat and he smiles triumphantly

"Comfortable?"

"Like sitting on a cloud. Listen this may not be the best time but I was hoping we could talk?"

"What's wrong?" my stomach turns at the look on his face, something can only be wrong

"Is it safe?" he whispers "to talk here?" I pull him closer to the chatter at the foot of the stairs and away from my father's bugged office, just to be sure

"What is it?"

"Peeta and I, we talked to Thom and then the three of us went to see Haymitch and then Darius and Gale" I frown at his nervous rambling and he fidgets "we wanted to tell you sooner but you had so much on your plate-"

"What have you done?" I grit, my voice resembling a growl

"We spread the word, sent out feelers. In the mines people are ready, willing to start fighting back and the people in town didn't take much convincing"

"Do you have any idea how dangerous it is to be talking to just anyone about this? All it takes is one person, one slip up and we're blown to hell. Risen to the ground like 13 was. A wasteland, nothing" Rye grins with his eyes, his features remaining serious and leans in closer to me

"But 13 isn't a wasteland is it" my eyes widen in shock, that he knows that much and that Haymitch or Darius was bold enough to tell him. Probably Darius, that big mouth

"Rye we can't do this now"

"All I'm saying is … maybe it's time" it's a long time before I nod

"I know".

The party is much like any other, I descend the staircase smiling and waving and get passed around. It feels like hours before I see a friendly face but when I do, I can't help but giggle

"Katniss" I reach out and take hold of her arms as she does mine and her eyes are dancing with excitement. She's a vision really, eyes shining, cheeks flushed and peach lipstick smudged at the edges "Peeta around?" I ask with a smirk

"Oh!" she blushes "he just- he's gone to get us some drinks"

"Hot in here isn't it?" I tease, unable to fight my smile. Her eyes widen incredibly when I reach up to rub the smudges away and she hides her face in her hands

"Oh hell" she grumbles

"Don't be embarrassed Katniss, you're happy, be happy" this time she's the one who can't fight a smile "are you having fun, despite the crazy people?"

"Yes, dancing- dancing is fun"

"That's because you're dancing with Peeta" I poke her in the side as Peeta joins us and hands a flute to Katniss

"Madge! Did you want one?" he asks, offering his own drink to me

"No thank you" I tell him, holding up the flavoured sparkling drink that was offered to me at the beginning of the night "enjoy your night, if you have any trouble at all call for me or Haymitch alright?"

"Madge" Katniss catches my hand "dance with Gale, he's been pouting all evening" I don't need telling twice.

I manage to avoid anything more than polite chatter and the odd handshake as I make my way over to him. He's not pouting, he's about ten seconds away from throwing a full blown tantrum

"Cheer up sour puss, you're at a party" without answering he snakes an arm around my waist and catches my hand, rubbing the pad of his thumb over my ring

"You were supposed to dance with me all night" he murmurs against my hair line

"Then come and dance? How's your back?"

"Well enough to dance with a beautiful woman" he kisses the ring again before clasping the hand and placing his right on my waist. Careful not to put any weight on his shoulder where a particularly deep cut lays, I wrap my hand around his neck, my thumb resting under his ear

"They dressed us to match" I murmur, noticing or the first time, the small diamond studs dotted on his person. One on each lapel, his cufflinks, the button at his throat

"Portia said she just wanted to make it clear you were … unavailable"

"I'd say you're doing a fine job of that anyway" I joke as his arm slides around my waist fully and our bodies are pulled flush

"Not fine enough" he grumbles "I hate how they look at you … and it's not just the men" I stroke his jaw

"Don't concern yourself with them. I am yours and you are mine and anyone else is irrelevant"

"Hell's teeth" he growls and turns us, keeping me close "it's him"

"Clarke?" he grunts in the affirmative and his grip on me tightens

"Gale listen, don't let him get under your skin" I place my hands on his chest to get him to look at me and when he does, he looks about ready to fall apart "Gale. I'm yours"

"The thought of him near you, I can't stand it"

"He's not getting near me Gale. If he tries anything I'll kill him" I regret the words instantly, it's not necessarily untrue but I know I've scared him with how easily they came "sorry"

"It's just strange, you're so gentle and beautiful …"

"A word Madgie?" Alias cuts Gale off making his nostrils flare and grip on my waist tighten. There's something odd about his tone, an edge to it that in turn, puts me on edge

"I'm busy"

"It's important" Gale takes my hand in both of his behind my back and I feel him twisting the ring around my finger "I'm sure your … _friend_ will be fine for a minute or two" he says glaring at Gale. I can't help wondering where the smugness has disappeared to

"Alias unless you've come to wish me happy birthday I could not be less interested in anything you have to say"

"Perhaps a dance, later?" I turn away from him with the distinct sense something is very wrong and watch Gale's glare follow Alias

"He's not getting a dance" he states bluntly

"Come on, let's get a drink".

We sit with Hazelle and Posy, who have been marvelling at the deserts on offer, half of which are smudged across Posy's face

"Can we dance Gale?" Posy asks sweetly, her hands sticky with purple frosting "Rory says he can only dance with Prim and Vick is hiding under the table eating a pie"

"Sure Pose" Gale chuckles "we'll be back" he says as she drags him away, purple frosting smeared all over

"Madge, are you alright?" Hazelle frowns "you look a little pale"

"I'm okay I think, maybe a little queasy. Do you mind if I go to the washroom for a minute?"

"Of course not, besides, I'm not alone" she rolls her eyes and lifts a silky table cloth to reveal Vick devouring a dish as Posy had said.

I manage to sneak out of the ballroom and through the grand entryway without being accosted, then shut myself into the guest bathroom off the hallway. Hazelle is right, even under the make-up I look haughty. When I attempt to smile at myself in the mirror I look crazed and then I'm clutching the counter for support as my vision blurs. It takes double the time it usually would for me to react to the door opening and I'm still stammering an apology when it closes again.

"We must speak" my knuckles pale as I tighten my grip to keep from swaying

"Alias not now"

"I wish you would just listen to me" he growls, smacking his palm against the wall "I need you Madgie and you need me"

"Get off me Alias" I demand less forcefully than I had planned and weakly slap his hands away from my face

"No!" for a moment the look in his eyes is enough to scare me "who are you to deny me? You're no one, nothing. How dare you deny me … and for the sake of a lesser species" something akin to terror rushes through me when I realise I'm not able to punch him for that remark. I'm weak and getting weaker by the second while he gets more aggressive

"Alias, something's wrong" I stagger into the counter, my head reeling and feel him trap me between the counter and the wall. Something is very, very wrong, I couldn't fight him off if I needed to. A situation looking far too likely for my comfort. With my father's mantra 'it's better to be safe than sorry' skipping through my mind I reach behind me for one of Cinna's hair pins

"Now now Madgie, don't do anything stupid" he smirks, catching hold of my wrists and restraining me without any real effort "you've had enough time and more than the necessary number of opportunities to do what's best for you. Now, you've left me no choice"

"Alias … what have you done? What have you given me?"

"Not to worry Madgie, nothing too drastic. Just a little something to make you more … compliant" he smiles and catches me as I keel forward. As I lose control of my limbs I realise I only have one real option, make as much noise as I can when I fall

"Well then Alias" I mumble, the effort of forming the words too much "if it's deadweight you want, it's deadweight you'll get" I take out a set of glass shelves that hold towels and a mirror when I go down but the disturbance doesn't seem to pull any attention away from the party. Alias shakes his head at me, as if amused and bends over to tap the end of my nose with his knuckle

"That's why I love you Madgie, always putting up a fight. It does so drive a man wild when you ladies do that" I'm about to pathetically mumble, he's a twisted little pig of a man but lose the chance when the bathroom door flies open and whacks him in the ass, sending him careening into the glass wall of the shower

"Oh jeepers, oh damn, I'm sorry" it takes Mr. Mellark a while to notice me slumped on the floor and when he finally does I offer a rubbish smile and a little sort of wave. He seems to put everything together a lot faster than he noticed me and just in time for Bannock to follow him in wondering what's going on "Madge, jeepers are you alright?"

"Been better" I slur

"Are you drunk?" I try to shake my head but it just lolls to one side then falls back. Damn you Alias

"No Pops, she ain't drunk, he's drugged her" Bannock sneers at Alias, who's rubbing his forehead and trying and failing to climb to his feet

"That true Madge?" my nod is even worse "so uh, what do we do? Tell a peacekeeper?"

"No we kick his ass. Imagine what he would've done if we hadn't caught him"

"Bannock" his father warns "are you _alright_ Madge" I imagine my little thumbs up looks quite silly considering I can't get my eyes to point the same direction

"He deserves an ass kicking"

"Bannock" Mr. Mellark grits, although Alias is well and truly out cold "you saw what he had done to the Hawthorne boy, now help me get her out of here" Bannock seems to quietly agree and lifts me off the floor like a doll, product of being raised in a bakery I imagine. I giggle internally when I see Mr. Mellark kick Alias' foot before following us out.


	50. Chapter 50

The morning I leave for the Capitol is a nightmare. Gale is refusing to let me leave my room, where he has had me barricaded since finding out what happened at the party. It's been two days and Haymitch has conceded I can go but only with an escort. I resort to climbing out of a bathroom window whilst they argue over how to best deal with Alias and leaving them a note that barely explains what I'm doing.

'_Operation obliter8 is a go. Taking message to Capitol. Get prepared.'_

I occupy myself on the journey by wondering who will be most angry at me. Darius and Haymitch will be furious I didn't discuss this with them in more detail. Operation obliter8 was Darius's baby after all, hence the ridiculous name. As the District with the largest population, 8 has the largest number of peacekeepers, therefore the largest number of weapons. Obliter8 is the first real move that'll be made in the name of rebellion, if it goes to plan, 12 is next.

Being in the Capitol never feels particularly _good_, especially after learning of Snow's plans for me to be auctioned, but this was different. I had asked to be here this time.

I wait for Castor to start the engine before beginning to tell Effie what's going to happen. If anyone can get a message to our allies in the capitol in a matter of days, it's her. Then leave them with the order; to get themselves and anyone else in danger out of the Capitol should anything go wrong.

The President looks a lot like he does in my nightmares. Everything enhanced, hair too white, lips too plump, teeth too big and eyes becoming more and more like those of a serpent. But he's smiling, genuinely too, he's happy to see me.

"Madeline … my dear" he holds his arms out, as if expecting me to rush forward and embrace him

"Mr. President. Thank you for agreeing to see me"

"Of course my dear, I have some matters to discuss with you anyway. But first, I want to wish you happy birthday"

"Thank you Mr. President, I'm touched"

"Nonsense, it's no secret I have a softness for you" well there you have it, I've done it, just in time as well. I've won over the President of Panem and right before I betray him, slimy cockroach that he is "you're beloved the way my dear Abigail is. A jewel on the crown that is the Capitol. In time I would like you to take your rightful place here"

"I can't tell you how much that means to me President Snow-"

"But no more about that now, I have a pressing issue I wish to speak about with you"

"Of course" I nod, wondering if he would've ordered me here even if I hadn't asked

"It may be easy to forget, living in District 12 Madeline, but the people in the districts outnumber us a thousand to one" both hating and grateful that he sees me as a Capitol citizen, I notice the conflicted sort of worry in his eyes and the set of his jaw "there's unrest in the districts, you know this, you've seen it yourself have you not?"

"I've seen signs … but surely nothing can come of it"

"Peace, is a fragile thing Madeline and they do outnumber us greatly"

"That may be true Mr. President, but a hundred men with rocks and branches are no match for a peacekeeper with a gun" not a total lie but if the next few days go to plan the districts will have weapons and everything else they need to match the peacekeepers tenfold

"Ah, my dear Madeline. How is it you are of more use and comfort to me than any advisor and such at my hand?"

"I simply give you an opinion Mr. President"

"And it pleases me greatly"

"Which pleases me in turn. What you can't know Madeline, is that these radicals are acting under your mockingjay. They burn the Capitol crest whilst waving your flag"

"My flag? Mr. President I have no idea-"

"Oh I know that Madeline, I myself, don't know why they've chosen to use that symbol but I thought perhaps you could make them rethink it"

"Rethink it?"

"I want you to make them hate it, resent that they ever held it high, loath everything it stands for. Remind them some are better than others, some have and some don't and they don't and they never will"

"Mr. President-"

"You may recall that Alias Clarke made an interesting offer for you recently" Snow cuts me off, his tone taking a threatening edge

"A list?"

"I know Madeline" he chuckles "he's a man of little importance with no real potential or imagination … but his offer has become much more interesting again. Just this morning he sat in that very chair and spoke of you"

"I'm still willing to match whatever it is he's offering" I say timidly, the threat is still there. If I don't do as he's asking he'll sell me but I have a gnawing in my gut that says that isn't all

"No my dear, this isn't a matter of money or anything else you can offer. His offer is simply a list of names"

"And what makes this list of names so interesting?"

"It's a list of names … of _rebel _leaders in each of the four districts most involved"

"_Rebels_? Unrest yes but actual rebellion? Surely they aren't that organized or capable, shouting in the streets yes, but war?"

"It's what I've been promised … should he have you" the president's words are so loaded with meaning and expectancy

"Am I missing something obvious, how would Alias Clarke of all people be privy to that kind of information?"

"He insists he has a reliable source … in District 12 of all places"

"Alright, let's for one moment entertain the possibility this is legitimate. What would anyone in 12 know about _rebellion_?"

"You tell me Madeline" he grins "Mr. Clarke has ever so kindly sent me a preview as proof of sorts" Snow smiles

"As a loyal and decent citizen of the Capitol, shouldn't he give that information over freely?"

"If it's of use then yes, of course but the man is desperate. It did prove an interesting read though" the President chortles

"May I see it?" Snow indicates to a folder laying on the desk between us and I reach over, making a conscientious effort not to seem eager. I don't know the first two names, the third and fourth I know of but have nothing to do with the rebellion either. The fifth name is Gale's.

"Gale Hawthorne?"

"Yes, I found that very interesting" I go on to read the names of friends in District 12. Bannock and Bram Mellark, Leon Smith, anyone Alias Clarke has a grievance with and I begin to laugh

"You do realize this is a hit list of people Alias Clarke doesn't favor?"

"So you believe he's lying"

"This man, Leon Smith stumbled across Alias being ... unsavory towards me. These two Bannock and Bram Mellark, are father and son, they run the bakery in District 12. They interrupted dear old Alias before he could make use of drugging me. They were guests at the party, invited by yourself. Gale Hawthorne? The man I supposedly love? His competition if you like?"

"So there's no truth to it?"

"I don't presume to know who may or may not be involved in rebellion but an old man, a baker and his son?"

"And what about your young Hawthorne? He jumps the fence, he was publically whipped. What do you say about his involvement in rebellion?"

"I say you already know the answer to that" I reply coldly "he was whipped at the request of Alias Clarke and he's watched as I am. You think if he was involved in rebellion you wouldn't know it? You think I wouldn't know it? A few random citizens is bad enough but I will not have Gale Hawthorne's name tarnished by a petty man, over childish grievances and jealousy"

"Very well Madeline" Snow grins, pleased "I will tell Mr. Clarke his offer is insufficient"

"As will any further offer be"

"We'll see" he grins toothily and takes a few sips from his teacup "why is it you wanted to see me so badly Madeline?" he continues lightly, as if he didn't just hand over a hit list for the people I love and threaten to sell my body to a man I'd sooner kill

"An avox" Snow's eyebrows rise curiously and he gestures for me to continue "I want to- well I'm not sure what the right word is. I'd like to procure an avox, buy her if necessary"

"That's not possible Madeline"

"Why?" I ask bluntly "you allow her to leave the Capitol and attend me already, what reason is there to stop me from making it permanent?" the president gives me a look that reminds me to watch my tongue then sighs at his cup and saucer

"Avoxes are avoxes for a reason Madeline. The one you speak of could be a murderer, a thief, why would you want that?"

"She's a good attendant and she's become a great source of comfort to me"

"Comfort?" the president chuckles "oh Madeline it was a criminal"

"Even so" he narrows his eyes at me then shakes his head, smiling

"I can't find it in me to say no to Abigail either. Consider it a gift, for your birthday"

"Thank you, President Snow. I can't tell you how grateful I am"

"There are conditions" he cuts in "it is not to interact with any other citizen unnecessarily. It is not to from relationships of any kind with anyone but yourself. It is not to have possessions, it is not to own anything of value and it does not have the right to earn a wage. It shall not receive medical attention if it be required and it shall not be educated further in any way. It will live with you, it will attend you and that is all"

"Yes Mr. President"

"I'll make arrangements for it to be sent to the station. Now is there anything else you wanted?"

"No, thank you Mr. President" I feel triumphant when I stand but my knees are close to knocking at the thought of Gale's name being on that list. The Mellark's, Leon, they aren't in any real danger – no more than usual at least – but Gale has a record, he's known in the capitol. One small mistake, a slip up, is all it would take

"Oh, and Madeline" I stop with my hand on the ornate door knob, gripping it tightly to keep from shaking "give my best to your parents would you?".


	51. Chapter 51

The train ride back, I find myself choking on my own breath at the Presidents last words. Lavinia brings me tea and biscuits, even chunks of chocolate and fudge in attempt to comfort me but all that does is make me throw up. In the end she resorts to wrapping me up in a blanket and her arms. She rocks slowly and hums as if I'm a small child and right there I feel it. I'm a petulant, selfish child. So wrapped up in myself, my grief and a romance that I've forgotten about everyone else. How many times have I visited my mother since returning from the games? How often would I see my father if he didn't visit? I haven't been to HQ. I haven't been there for Peeta like I once was. I haven't thought about the boy who died for me. For months I've told myself it was for the sake of my sanity but how could I have neglected his memory like that?

At some point I started shaking … and sobbing it would seem, Lavinia tightens her hold and continues to hum. That's how I fall asleep.

I'm laughing gleefully, smiling ear to ear as Gale and I slide around the polished floors of the mayoral mansion I grew up in. We glide from room to room, the surfaces slick with blood beneath our feet. When I slip and land in a puddle of the stuff, my face is splattered in warmth … and I laugh, falling in to a pile of giggles at the foot of the main staircase.

That's where the blood is coming from, dribbling over the edge of each step like a slow moving waterfall before joining the pool where I'm sitting. I scramble up the staircase, Gale hot on my heels, the two of us in hysterics and me squealing as he tries to catch me. I let him when we reach the summit and I catch a glimpse of sharpened teeth and a serpent tongue before he kisses me. When I roll us, blood drips from the permeated strands of my hair and lands with silent splashes on his throat and jaw. I kiss him again.

Gale pins me beneath him and settles his hips between mine, before moving my head to one side to nip at my throat and I catch sight of a trail of yet more blood. It leads to a door, a door I always dreaded opening but hated leaving even more. Behind it lays bloody scraps of what was once my mother and more blood than one body would account for

"What happened?" I whisper, Gale smiles and lets out a confused sort of chuckle

"You Madge, _you happened_".

Lavinia can't console me and though I'm conscientious again I can't stop shaking. I try drinking but that makes me drowsy and I don't want to sleep again so I opt for lying face down on a chaise longue and counting. I've reached 7,682 when Lavinia folds my hand around something small. I realise how desperate she must be when I see what it is. Something that could have very easily made me throw myself from the train, somehow seems to dull the ache. Not enough to help but enough to distract me. I roll the small die between my hands for the remainder of the trip, I dare not think about the last time the two were together, or where the other might be but the distraction of distracting myself is better than the alternative.

**Katniss**

Madge is not Madge when she returns, not like when she come back from the games, not after her meetings with Snow, she is someone, some_thing_ else entirely. Gale is the first to go after her, sprinting from the train station faster than I've ever seen him move but he can't catch Madge. When the Mellark's and I reach the Mayor's mansion the front door is swinging on its hinges and there's shouting from inside so I follow the Mellark's in.

Madge has an axe and she's raised it. If she was to bring it down now it'd slice Gale's skull in two and the way she looks, I think she might do it. This is not Madge, this is something we didn't even see in the games. I'm wondering what Snow did to her in the Capitol when she swings, missing Gale and shattering the polished ivory keys of her piano. She brings the axe down again and again on the instrument, grunting and cursing until it's scrap wood on legs and then she takes those out too

"Get out"

"Madge?" Gale steps forward and she changes her grip on the axe, not lifting it to him but it's definitely a warning

"Get out. Leave now" Gale is breathing strangely when he tries to move closer again and Madge chucks the axe into the wood pile that was her piano "leave" she shoves him in the chest "all of you, leave" she's not shouting, just demanding it

"Madge just tell us what's wrong" Peeta tries

"Did they hurt you?" Bannock adds, Gale's breathing changes again

"I'm not going to say it again" Madge mutters, pushing past us and disappearing somewhere in the mansion

"Do we go after her?" Rye wonders aloud

"No" Gale grunts, leaving in more of a hurry than Madge had.

I go to Darius, hoping he knows something or at least knows what to do. When I explain what happened he goes to the mayor's mansion and returns with a busted lip

"I deserved it" he shrugs, holding a rag to his mouth to catch the blood

"She hit you?!"

"She kicked my ass"

"Why?"

"She's unstable and I pushed her. Thought it might break her out of it but just made things worse"

"You need stitches in that" I tell him, pointing at the gash in his swollen lip

"Nah" he waves me off "Lavinia's given me a salve that'll patch it up in no time"

"The avox?"

"Madge bought her"

"I didn't know you could do that"

"You can't. Snow is playing her game for now but it's only a matter of time before it all comes to blows"

"The message Madge left? About the plans in District 8, what does that mean for us?"

"If it goes according to plan, war. If it doesn't, war"

"That's it? Something that big has been decided by a handful of people?"

"_A handful of people?!_ Katniss the other districts, they're already at war. There's rioting in the streets, peacekeepers being run out"

"And that's what'll happen here?"

"No, with such a small population we have to be smarter than that. We're going to take the jailhouse, lock up the peacekeepers. The Capitol won't even know anything's wrong"

"What you're going to handle all that on your own?!"

"Of course not!" Darius laughs "it would have been Madge, Haymitch and I but considering Madge has suffered some sort of mental break I doubt she'll be joining us"

"You're mad! Two of you against every peacekeeper in District 12"

"Don't be silly Katniss. You're coming along as well".


	52. Chapter 52

It's been a week, Madge has given Darius two more bloody noses, brought Gale closer to tears than I thought possible and threatened to set Haymitch on fire. The Mayor says she's yet to leave her mother's bedroom for more than ten minutes. Peeta's mother threw a hunk of firewood at me when she found me at the back door and proceeded to shout curses down the street at me when I took it for my own.

The woods seem like a good idea.

Gale is sat hunched over in the dirt, head bowed and shoulders sagging. Around him, dozens of small strawberry plants, the fruit spoiled and rotting

"She won't tell me why" despite being weak, his voice still spooks me "I asked her, if that- if Clarke- if it was him. She won't tell me what they did to her there, it's killing me"

"Gale … we all care about Madge"

"No. It's not the same. I can feel her slipping through my fingers. She's the one this is happening to but _I'm_ the one losing her" it's strange for me, to understand something so profound, but I do understand, that losing someone like Madge, in the way we're losing her can make you feel so helpless

"I never thought things were simple before" I huff, taking my bow and game bag from my shoulder "but turns out they were"

"Things are simpler _now_. Snow _has_ to die, the Capitol _has_ to fall. That's all there is to it"

"Gale. Was being whipped not enough? Do you want to be shot?"

"You know I always loved you don't you Katniss?" I balk, leaning away from him immediately "well lately I've been wondering why. I've always thought we were the same but where it matters, we couldn't be more different. Or maybe it's just the lengths we're willing to go to"

"You don't think I'd go to any length? Do _anything_ to protect Prim. I'd kill Gale. I'd fight in the games, go to war, shoot Snow in the heart, if it meant keeping Prim safe. The difference is only one of us finds that necessary"

"Don't you get that they're just going to keep doing this? It's not about keeping us in line anymore, we're so beaten down they're just doing these things because they can"

"So this thing with the Peacekeepers, you want to do it?"

"We'd have done it already if it were up to me"

"Peeta says that too" Gale raises an eyebrow high on his forehead "he says, he says he knows I would have gone if Madge hadn't and that he won't see anyone else he loves suffer"

"Loves huh?"

"He says so"

"That's intense?" I shrug

"It's unexpected"

"I don't know about that".

It's terrifying, having Haymitch explain each step of our 'mission' in detail. I don't have a huge part, not like Darius or Gale but if even one aspect doesn't go according to plan, we all die.

It begins on a Sunday morning. Darius takes a flask of Sae's stew and a bottle of the Mayor's best whiskey to the jailhouse to celebrate his birthday before beginning his rounds. Exactly six minutes later, when the sleeping draught has worked it's magic, he returns with Gale to move the unconscious into cells where they should remain for the rest of the day.

I watch anxiously from my perch on the roof of the head peacekeepers living quarters. I can hear Thread moving beneath my feet, boiling water and moving cans. I'm lookout and yes this is the tallest building in town besides the Justice building and the mayor's mansion but it's still the head peacekeepers roof.

'_You're light-footed aren't you?' _Haymitch had winked

There's a yell and some scuffling within the jailhouse and I hold my breath, anticipating whether or not Thread will hear it too. After a moment of silence, Gale pops his stupid head out of the jailhouse window facing me and gives a thumbs up. I relay his message to Haymitch, on the roof at HQ, to which he nods. He's surprisingly focused for a drunk.

We convene at HQ, where Darius and Gale show up with the guns taken from the jailhouse.

"We're really doing this then?" I ask, wary of the weapon in my hands

"You probably won't have to use it, just leave the safety off, point and shoot" Darius tells me sternly

"It'll be okay Katniss" Peeta adds, placing his hand flat on my back

"Just be where you're supposed to be and watch your backs" Haymitch speaks over us.

Now comes the hard part.

We move over to the hob, in pairs or alone and as discreetly as possible. I mull around Sae's stall, the two of us warning people to move away. Darius is at Ripper's, so is Thom, I watch as they do the same, guiding people away from the clearing where Gale and Rye are about to come to blows. It's very believable. A townie and a miner, no love lost between them, getting into a tussle at the hob. I'd wager they're relishing this chance to knock lumps out of each other.

It takes the peacekeepers that are around, longer than expected to rush over and break it up, but they never get the chance. Before the first of them can get their hands on Gale, he and Rye let go of each other and turn on the peacekeepers. It happens so fast I almost forget my part. Seeing Peeta and Thom pull their guns out of hiding snaps me out of it and I pull the firearm hidden in my game bag.

"What the hell is this?" one exclaims, staring at the barrel pointed at him

"Just drop your stunners and get on the floor" Darius tells him coolly "no one has to get hurt"

"Fucking traitor" he spits, doing as Darius said

"Why thank you. I suggest anyone who doesn't want a part in this goes home" Darius calls out to everyone else on the hob. Most leave with a few glances over their shoulders but a number linger

"What exactly is _this_?" a miner asks from his spot in the corner

"Revenge" Gale grits, his fingers twitching at the trigger

"For the games" Thom adds

"It's an uprising" Bannock tells him "we're taking back our district"

"It's the beginning of the rebellion" Darius says finally

"Peacekeepers!" a young boy yells, running back in to the hob after leaving with the crowd "a bunch of them"

"Alright Peeta get these three tied up, tight, and watch them" Haymitch orders "Darius, Gale, at the doors" he points "the rest of you, be ready. You better get out of here kid" the boy takes a look around the empty factory, usually bustling, the peacekeepers tied up and our guns and nods before taking off.

I shoot someone in the shin and Bannock catches someone's shoulder but the rest of the peacekeepers are subdued without bullets. Once they're tied up, Darius removes their helmets

"Everyone's here"

"Even Thread" I point out

"You'll all be put to death for this, all of you!" he shouts, glaring at us all "you'll be tortured" he yells at Darius "I'll see to it personally"

"You see, the thing is _Romulus_, even if we were stopped, somehow, the Capital isn't going to take too kindly to the man who allowed it to happen. That's you" Darius smiles falsely "now then, who just wants to pretend this didn't happen. Maybe carry on with your life, just without the uniform?"

"Darius" a woman hisses "what are you doing? Stop this now"

"So Dee is out. Anyone else?"

"You want us to join you?"

"Not necessarily" Darius shrugs

"Shut up all of you" Thread shouts, saliva gathering at the corners of his mouth "I'm going to kill all you sons of bitches, so help me. You're going back on the post you gutless pig" he spits at Gale

I hear her footsteps only when she's half way across the factory floor to us. She looks like she did in the games. Natural, not so put together, a little scruffy and tired, but most of all she looks a little bit terrifying, like something has snapped, something that has to snap in order for you to be able to kill.

"Madge .." Gale whispers, seeing her like this is breaking him, I can hear it in his voice, even his breathing has changed. As Madge passes Thom she slips the strap of his gun off his shoulder and flicks the safety on and off.

Thread's eyes cross as he follows the barrel of the gun that comes to rest on his forehead

"Would you like to repeat that little remark Romulus?" Madge asks softly, her voice steady, cold and monotone. She's met with a few moments of silence and lowers the gun "that's what I thought" Thread exhales heavily and a bead of sweat rolls down his forehead and over the raised bruise the barrel of the gun left between his eyes. Madge crouches down to be eye level with him and tilts her head a fraction as if studying a cornered rodent "you're just a coward" she whispers and I can't help thinking anyone would be cowardly looking into Madge's eyes the way they are now

"You'd never have done it anyway, they wouldn't have let you" he says jerking his head towards the Mellark's and I. Madge glances at us over her shoulder then leans in closer to him than anyone ever should and I watch her lips move as she speaks in his ear, so low he's the only one to hear. Whatever it is she says has the desired effect because his eyes widen then focus on a few wisps of Madge's hair that have come loose around her ears and he swallows hard.

"An audience always likes to see the bad guy get his comeuppance. Look around Romulus, look at who your audience is"

Thread's eyes dart around, coming to rest on a few people "just remember that Romulus" Madge murmurs threateningly before straightening up and handing Thom's gun back to him. As Madge leaves Gale tightens the grip he has on his gun and grunts as the strap digs into his shoulder

"Back giving you trouble boy?" Thread murmurs just a fraction louder than he should have and Madge turns on her heel, striding back towards him

"Just had to test the theory didn't you Romulus" Madge seethes "Thom?" Madge holds her arm out for the gun and turns to glare at him when he doesn't immediately hand it to her. Gingerly Thom hands over the weapon and Madge knocks off the safety "anyone have any objections to me putting a bullet in his head? No?"

"Wa-" Thread's plea is cut off by a shot, a deafening explosion from the small source in Madge's hands

"I'm sorry you all had to see that in person, it's a little different than seeing it on a television screen I bet"

"Madge!" I call after her as she leaves

"Don't follow me" she demands, I watch her round the corner before my eyes are drawn back to Romulus Thread. His eyes are lifeless, unseeing and as dark as the bullet hole nestled between them.


End file.
